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'Godzilla El Niño' Coming to Raid Your Fridge, Teach Your Kids Bad Words
Oh, dear God. Don’t turn around. No, seriously, it’s right behind you. This menacing creature can smell fear and has a thirst for blood. I don’t mean to alarm you, but forecasters predict that a...
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Louis C.K.’s Hardcore Porn Doppelganger: A Great Reddit Conspiracy
A few weeks ago, a Reddit user was watching a gangbang on Pornhub. Just as one of the men was about to ejaculate onto the chest of the woman on the receiving end, something caught the Redditor’s ear....
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Connecticut's Death Penalty is Officially Dead
The great state of Connecticut has executed its last prisoner, the state’s highest court ruled today.Although Connecticut decided in 2012 not to sentence any more prisoners to death, the ruling was not...
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500 Days of Kristin, Day 200: It's Finally Here!!!
Like a C-student proudly delivering completed homework to the teacher for the first time all semester, Kristin Cavallari announced progress on her forthcoming book today, the 200th day of Kristin. One...
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This Isn’t a Perfect Tweet, But It Is a Strong One
Much to the delight of Franni Bryson, the senator’s wife, the tweet has since been deleted. Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.
View ArticleA Colorado state appeals court ruled against Masterpiece Cakeshop Thursday,...
A Colorado state appeals court ruled against Masterpiece Cakeshop Thursday, stating that the bakery could not deny service to a same-sex couple based on the religious beliefs of its owner. The bakery,...
View ArticleDeadspin Straight Outta Compton Celebrates The Day The Bad Guys Won |...
Deadspin Straight Outta Compton Celebrates The Day The Bad Guys Won | Jalopnik Why Are Jordanian F-16s Suckling Gas From Israeli Tankers On Way To U.S.? | Jezebel Welcome to Hell: Airline to Begin...
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Yellowstone Grizzly Bear Euthanized After Killing, Eating Hiker
Officials at Yellowstone National Park killed an adult female grizzly bear on Thursday after positively identifying it as the animal that fatally mauled a hiker last week, the Associated Press...
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Reptile Zoo Rescues 150 Goddamn Crocodiles From Strange Man's Home
About 150 crocodilians were removed from a Toronto-area home last week after their owner reached out to a nearby reptile sanctuary for help with his bonkers hoarding problem, CBC News reports.“I...
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Chinese Millennials Sound Like the Freaking Worst!
Americans know that the newly empowered “millennial” generation is the greatest threat to our nation’s stability. But did you know that China’s millennial generation has the potential to be even...
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Sweden Drops Sex Assault Charges But Julian Assange Still Can't Leave His...
Police in Sweden say they’re dropping the sexual assault charges against Julian Assange, not because he didn’t do it—a question of fact that will never be answered—but because he successfully holed up...
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Let’s Talk About When You’re Giving a Blow Job and Maybe Barf
With any given beej, things can deteriorate quickly. Smooth sailing leads to choppy waters in a split second; one minute you’re slurping that popsicle, and the next you could totally hurl.It’s not your...
View ArticleForty soldiers in Army Ranger training were hospitalized on Wednesday after...
Forty soldiers in Army Ranger training were hospitalized on Wednesday after they were struck by lightning. “The students were learning lightning protection protocols at the time of the incident.”
View ArticleDeadspin Gabe Kapler’s Advice To Baseball Players: Get A Nice Tan On Your...
Deadspin Gabe Kapler’s Advice To Baseball Players: Get A Nice Tan On Your Nuts | Gizmodo Two Books You Must Read If You Care About the Future of Humanity in Space | io9 Luke Skywalker Is a True Jedi...
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TLC to Put Duggars Back on TV in Child Sex Abuse Documentary
TLC is trying to make lemonade out of 19 Kids and Counting’s Josh Duggar revealing he molested his little sisters as a teen. Although leaving the Duggars on the air would have been terrible PR,...
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Everything You Wrote in High School Is Embarrassing Garbage
This month and next, millions of American youths are going to do something that most of us never have to ever again: Step into a classroom, and write down the most tortured prose that they and their...
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A Guide to the Christian Vlog Community Where the Biggest Blessing Is a Baby
Last week, the popular Christian vlogging couple Sam and Nia posted what’s become their second most viral video ever: a pregnancy announcement where—twist—Sam “surprised” his wife Nia with her own...
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This Cat Is Still Alive, Which Is Worth Acknowledging
An old cat—can you imagine? Little glasses. Sitting in a chair while he reads a book. You see him in a bar having a drink by himself and it makes you sad for a minute, rudely—probably he isn’t even...
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Specter Detector: Searching for the Drunken Ghost of Dylan Thomas
“Do you have anything you want to say?” I asked Dylan Thomas on a recent sunny afternoon. We were having lunch together at New York City’s famed White Horse Tavern, and I had ordered a cheeseburger....
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Republican Candidates Compete to Tell the Biggest Economic Lie
The Republican presidential primary campaign is, to a large extent, a convention of white male fantasy enthusiasts. You say you can double economic growth, with magic? Well I can... triple it!The...
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