Zeek the monkey does not give a fuck. He’ll chew your mail up, sitting right on top of your mailbox.
What are you going to do? Call the police? Go ahead. Call ‘em. When they come, he’ll just jump on top of their patrol car like it’s no big deal. He’ll rip the molding out, and gnaw on that a bit too.
Then he’ll take a twirl a pole and strut off like the populist hero he is.
(And then his owner will come pick him up and take him back home.)