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Everything We Know About the Boston Marathon Bombing
Yesterday, two bombs detonated at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, killing three and injuring more than 100 people. Here's everything we know about the bombing, its aftermath, and the hunt for...
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Powerful 7.8 Earthquake Hits Iran, Hundreds Likely Dead
A death toll in the hundreds is expected following a massive earthquake in southeast Iran near the border of Pakistan on Tuesday. Measuring 7.8 on the Richter scale, the quake is the country's largest...
View ArticleThis Pro-Gay Boy Scouts Alternative Just Doubled its Membership
Camping, crafts, and uniforms have always held a special allure for some kids; too bad the main sponsor of those activities, the Boy Scouts of America, excludes gays, atheists, and girls. Never mind....
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RIP Martin Richard
Martin Richard, 8, was killed yesterday in the Boston Marathon bombings while standing with his mother and younger sister waiting for his father, William, to cross the finish line. His mother, Denise,...
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Ozzy Osbourne Says He and Sharon Are Not Divorcing, But He Has Been Doing a...
Ozzy Osbourne has posted a Facebook message to fans following reports that he and his wife of 31 years have gone their separate ways. "Just to set the record straight, Sharon and I are not divorcing,"...
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Craig Ferguson's Emotional Late Late Show Monologue: 'Is Anyone Else Sick of...
Fans of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson know well that every show opens with the very same line: "It's a great day for America." But yesterday was not a great day for America — far from it —...
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Aspiring Chef Quits His Menial Job in Delicious Fashion
Bringing pastry to work is the number one surefire way of making friends in the office. But one aspiring chef from Cambridgeshire, England, turned the tradition on its head by using a Passion cake to...
View ArticlePresident Obama Appeases Cable News, Calls Boston Bombings 'Act of Terror'
"Anytime bombs are used to terrorize innocent civilians, it is an act of terror," President Obama clarified, citing a definition of terrorism. Now that that's cleared up, we can talk about the fact...
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Here Is Your Boston "Tragedy For Sale" Roundup of Opportunist Douches
Glenn Beck is co-opting the Boston marathon bombing to hawk gold to his slackjawed fans. But hey, he's not the only fucktard palmetto bug trying to turn exposed femoral arteries into legal tender....
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Amanda Bynes Is Looking Even More Insane Than Usual in Newly Posted...
There have been no shortage of pleonastic stories making Amanda "I Want Drake to Murder My Vagina" Bynes out to be in the throes of a downward spiral with no bottom in sight. But leave it to the...
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False Flags and Roof Terrorists: Your Guide to All the Internet Horseshit
It's already begun: The wacko conspiracy theories about the Boston Marathon bombings are taking over the internet. (In fact, "it" began only 30 minutes after the explosions, when conspiracy kingpin...
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The 13 Most Obnoxious Marathon-Bombing Tweets
What do you do with your instantly publishing short-form social-media account when something big has happened but you don't know exactly what? Correct answer: nothing. But in the absence of reliable...
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Colorado Teen Can’t Shed His Diarrhea Past; Pope Declares it a Miracle
Miracles happen everywhere, if you only know where to look. Sometimes you have to look in diarrhea. The Denver Post reports that a German nun is one step closer to being declared a saint, after helping...
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Maggie Smith is an Annoyed Zombie in National Gallery Portrait
The National Portrait Gallery commissioned a painting of Dame Maggie Smith that makes the Dowager Countess look like a condescending mummy overlord. Painter James Lloyd claimed that he wanted to...
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A Sloppy Excel Error Might Have Messed Up the Way We Think About GDP
A new study reveals that one of the most cited economic principles regarding GDP and debt is most likely based on a "sloppy Excel coding error." According to a 2009 book by Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth...
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Boston College Students Organize Walk for Thousands Who Didn't Finish...
Thousands of Boston Marathon runners were still making their way to the finish line when the bombs went off yesterday afternoon. According to figures released by the Boston Athletic Association, some...
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Robert Downey Jr. Says Overacting Is Like Bestiality
Chris Heath warns you up high in his GQ cover story on Robert Downey Jr., that: "Conversations with Robert Downey Jr. are rarely linear, and sometimes it takes a moment to realize how one thing might...
View ArticleHere Is Video of a Pressure-Cooker Bomb Exploding, and Here Is Who Knows How...
An unnamed FBI official has told CBS News that at least one of the explosive devices detonated in Boston yesterday appears to have been improvised from a conventional pressure-cooker. Unnamed law...
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Crazy Rumor of the Day: NBC Confirms Brand New Season of Friends
Wholly unsubstantiated rumors of an impending Friends reunion slated for Thanksgiving 2014 made mild waves online last week. But that was a whisper in a pillow compared with word from an even less...
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The Vanishing Bomb Suspect: How the New York Post Scooped Reality
In the confusion around the Boston Marathon bombing yesterday, as facts came and went, the New York Post staked out two dramatic claims: at least a dozen people were dead, and the authorities had a...
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