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Americans Now Too Lazy to Make Microwave Popcorn
Sure, you love the buttery, chemical-y, cholesterol-y flavor of a nice bag of hot, steaming popcorn. But who has the time or cardiovascular stamina to place a bag into the microwave, push a button, and...
View ArticleFormer Disney Superstar Reveals Why He Walked Away from Being Rich
Child actors Dylan and Cole Sprouse spent their formative years printing money for Disney. Between the years 2005 and 2008, the twins, previously known best for appearing as one alongside Adam Sandler...
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How New York Could Save Its Collapsing Harbors
New York is forever on the verge of some kind of collapse. We worry about the next big storm. Or a the next economic downturn. Or just a good ol’ rat tsunami. But last year, the New York City Economic...
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Can-Do State Legislators Are Working to Speed Up Executions
Support for the death penalty among Americans is hovering around a 40-year low. Nevertheless, enthusiastic legislators from Bumfuck all the way to Hickville are taking it upon themselves to help their...
View ArticleThe Red Cross office in Jalalabad is under attack after a suicide bomber blew...
The Red Cross office in Jalalabad is under attack after a suicide bomber blew himself up at the gate of the ICRC while two other insurgents entered the building. So far, six staff members have been...
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Kate Middleton's Mom Rescues Random Street Bitch
Her daughter Kate proves herself a hero every day just by being pretty and pleasant, but recently it was Carole Middleton who brought glory and honor to the Middleton name by yanking some random bitch...
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Only Nine People Have Given to Zosia Mamet's Hipster Band Kickstarter
Now that the Crackstarter has closed, you're probably scouring the internet for another worthy cause to crowd-fund. We've found one for you! Zosia Mamet and her sister Clara Mamet, both children of...
View ArticleKotaku Sony President Trolls Everyone | Deadspin Nobody Can Hijack A Playoff...
Kotaku Sony President Trolls Everyone | Deadspin Nobody Can Hijack A Playoff Game Quite Like An NBA Referee Can | Gizmodo Behind the Plan To Save New York’s Harbors With a 3D Printer | Lifehacker The...
View ArticleFor the time being, at least, Reddit appears to have abandoned trying to find...
For the time being, at least, Reddit appears to have abandoned trying to find real murderers and is now focused on fictional crimes. First up, the surprisingly convincing "Megan Draper as Sharon Tate...
View ArticlePissed Off Store Employees Stop Public Urinators with Surprise Shower
Tired of passers-by pissing in the alley behind their locksmith shop, a pair of pranksters from Allentown, PA, decided to install a surprise shower for future would-be public urinators. Using...
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Tycoon's Pet Newspaper Thinks For-Profit Citi Bikes Are Socialism
"Just Buy a Bike!" the editors of the New York Observer encourage their readers today. That is, if you must ride a bike—and the only reason the Observer editors can think of that you might want to is...
View ArticleFewer people die during economic recessions.
Fewer people die during economic recessions. So that's something.
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Moms Become Top Earners in 4 of 10 Households, Men Become Useless
A sad new study proves that moms are the top earners in four of ten American households. It may seem like a positive thing that these working women are top earners, but it either means the woman is a...
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Maine Doctor Slashes Prices By Rejecting Health Insurance
A Portland, Maine, physician believes he's found the cure for this country's ailing health care system: No more health insurance. Dr. Michael Ciampi announced on April 1st that he would no longer be...
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Drunk Driver Crashes Car During Road Sex, Ditches Naked Partner
A New Mexico man who was drinking, driving, speeding, and having sex all at the same time unsurprisingly crashed his car into another vehicle after running a red light. It gets much better. After his...
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Avatars May Help Schizophrenics Alleviate Internal Voices
A recent study shows that for people with schizophrenia, creating an avatar representation of voices heard in their head helps to alleviate the pressure of these voices and can even cause them to...
View ArticleHere's Robyn and The Lonely Island: Video Features #Art?
Robyn has a new song and it's tremendous. (But manage those expectations) It's not actually her song, she's just guesting on a new Lonely Island song called "Go Kindergarten." But! Remain interested,...
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Is This Nazi-Killing Video Game Hero Jewish? Maybe.
In the upcoming, ass-kicking video game Wolfenstein: The New Order, the Polish protagonist B. J. Blazkowicz encounters a gray-haired Nazi officer named Engel. Blazkowicz is undercover, posing as a Nazi...
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Grumpy Cat Signs Movie Deal, Will Be the Next Garfield
Good news for people who like good news about cats who like bad news: Grumpy Cat, the Internet's most beloved foul-tempered feline, has signed a deal to star in a "Garfield-like" family movie about a...
View ArticleAfter being all like this is just a one-time thing about Arrested...
After being all like this is just a one-time thing about Arrested Development, Netflix CEO Reed Hastings, now says he would be "willing" to continue the series if the "talent were willing." This...
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