Donald Trump has reportedly spent $1 million researching a potential...
Donald Trump has reportedly spent $1 million researching a potential presidential run in 2016. Perhaps he should have used that money to buy a new wig instead.
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Amanda Bynes Announces Plan to Sue NYPD, Get Plastic Surgery
Now that Amanda Bynes has finished randomly lashing out at Rihanna, she's moved on to her next, probably more deserving target: the NYPD. Monday morning, Bynes took to Twitter to announce her plans to...
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Where Do Singers Screw Up The National Anthem?
Earlier this month, before the first game of the Canadian Hockey League's Memorial Cup, singer Alexis Normand joined a long list of people who have brutalized the U.S. national anthem in front of a...
View ArticleHappy Memorial Day!
Happy Memorial Day! The United States is the only rich country that doesn't guarantee paid vacation days or holidays to its workers.
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Teen Fatally Stabs Girlfriend After Argument, Confesses to Mom
According to Pennsylvania State Police, on Saturday a 16-year-old stabbed his 17-year-old girlfriend to death as the two were in the middle of an argument. When the teenager returned home, bloodied and...
View ArticleToronto Mayor Rob Ford's press secretary and assistant press secretary both...
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's press secretary and assistant press secretary both quit on Monday. Their resignations came four days after Ford fired his chief of staff.
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Passengers Use Shoelaces to Subdue Man Trying to Open Airplane Door
A man making “unusual statements” attempted to open an airplane door today during a flight from Alaska to Portland, Oregon. Passengers eventually subdued the man, who authorities said weighed 220...
View ArticleBaby Flushed Down Toilet Survives After Amazing Sewage-Pipe Rescue
A newborn baby in Jinhua, China is in stable condition after being cut from a small section of sewer pipe—where it had been trapped after its mother apparently flushed it down the toilet. Watch out;...
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How Doomed Is the U.S. Postal Service?
Those who enjoy slow-motion disasters have spent years watching the travails of the gallant United States Postal Service, which is kind of like FedEx if it was run by the Three Stooges. Just how...
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Teenager Carves His Own Name Into 3,500-Year-Old Egyptian Relic
A family in Nanjing, China, was left embarrassed and apologetic after their 15-year-old son was found to have defaced an ancient Egyptian relic with the phrase "Ding Jinhao was here." A photo of the...
View ArticleFan Slaps Beyoncé's Booty During Show, Nearly Gets Booted Out
Beyoncé's show in Copenhagen last night was momentarily interrupted when her body proved too bootylicious for one fresh fan who proceeded to slap her on her behind. During the part of her performance...
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Everybody's Into Tea Now, Apparently
You like coffee? Yeah, I used to like coffee. I'm kind of over that now. I've evolved past that. I've advanced into tea. Tea is kind of the new "thing," for me and my 300 million closest friends, the...
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The "Masturbation Diet" Is Not Recommended
The Subway diet. The cabbage soup diet. The junk food diet. From Atkins to the Zone, there is an array of diets to help people slim down. Have you heard of the masturbation diet? You know, the one in...
View ArticlePutin Fan Larry King Joining Russian News Channel
Prehistoric fertility god and former CNN host Larry King is bringing his current show, Tales from the Cryptkeeper, to Russia Today, and adding another show, Politics With Larry King, to the...
View ArticleThe tornado apocalypse of 2013 is expected to continue today.
The tornado apocalypse of 2013 is expected to continue today.
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Thomas Friedman Writes an Ad for His Daughter's College Roommate
Seeking a job? Who better to turn to for advice than mustachioed simpleton Thomas Friedman, reliable font of platitudinous excreta? Why, Thomas Friedman knows just who to talk to about this... One of...
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Wrong Miss Universe Canada Crowned Due to World's Worst Typo
Denise Garrido managed to hold on to her Miss Universe Canada title for a solid 24 hours before officials yanked it away. It seems she was crowned by mistake. "My heart sank. I was so sad," Garrido...
View ArticleThe Gay Mormon Who's Happily Married to a Woman Was on VH1 Last Night
Remember Josh Weed, the Mormon blogger who came out last year as a gay man who's been happily married to a woman for 10 years? He and his wife Lolly told more of their story last night on VH1's I'm...
View ArticleNews Crew Finds Missing Man While Reporting on His Disappearance
When a 73-year-old man with dementia went missing from his Limington, Maine, home, the news team at local ABC affiliate WMTW did their part by traveling to the region to report on his disappearance....
View ArticleClever Comedy Sketch Explores the Origins of Heterosexuality
Philly comic John McKeever of the sketch comedy group Bird Text (The Real Househusbands of Philadelphia) directs his funny friends in a side project skit about how heterosexuality came to be. There is...
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