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Florida's Governor Adopted a Dog for the Campaign, Promptly Returned It From...
A dog can be a political double-edged sword: treat it well and you get lots of good press; treat it shitty and, well, just ask Mitt Romney how that worked out for him. Florida's Republican (and wildly...
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The Atlantic Is Now Publishing Bizarre, Blatant Scientology Propaganda as...
The Atlantic –- the one time publisher of Mark Twain, Nathaniel Hawthorne and Edith Wharton –- is now publishing Scientology propaganda. The "sponsored content"</a, bought and paid for by the Church...
View ArticleAl Sharpton Rips Into 'Gun Appreciation Day' Chairman Who Thinks Slavery...
On CNN last Friday, Chairman of "Gun Appreciation Day"—which is to be held on Martin Luther King weekend—said this: The truth is, I think Martin Luther King would agree with me if he were alive today...
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Clarence Thomas Ended His 7-Year Courtroom Silence With a Stupid Joke
Monday morning, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas broke his impressive seven-year courtroom silence with a stupid Yale joke. Or at least that's what people think he said – the official transcriber...
View ArticleFish Feeder Nearly Becomes Real-Life Jonah After Tarpon Swallows His Arm Whole
Warning: Turn down the volume, shit gets loud. While feeding tarpon at Robbie's in Islamorada, Florida, a young man named Ryan Reynolds gets a closer encounter than he bargained for when one of the...
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Cleaning Lady Steals Train, Slams It Into Apartment Building
Transit officials in Sweden are at a loss to explain how a cleaning lady was able to steal a commuter train from a station near Stockholm and drive it for three minutes before crashing into a...
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Popular YouTube Prankster Arrested for Giving People Wedgies
An 18-year-old known for posting poorly thought-out pranks on YouTube crossed a stupidity threshold Sunday night when he went on a wedgie spree outside a movie theater in his hometown of Bradenton,...
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Nobody Who Knows Anything Trusts the Banks
A hedge funder is making noise about bringing down the salaries of executives at Morgan Stanley. Good. The government sure hasn't been successful at holding down corporate executive salaries, so maybe...
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Here Are Seven (Very) Short Stories About Drones by Award-Winning Author Teju...
Teju Cole, the novelist, essayist, art historian and master tweeter, wrote seven short stories about drones — the unmanned aerial vehicles used by the U.S. for covert assassination in foreign countries...
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Fifth Grader Bullied for 'Gay Tendencies' Brings Butcher Knife to School
Police in Winter Haven, Florida, are investigating the circumstances that led an 11-year-old boy to bring a butcher knife to school inside his Scooby-Doo bookbinder. The knife was noticed by the fifth...
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18 Severed Human Heads Discovered in Package at Airport; Everyone Being Very...
Officials at Chicago's O'Hare Airport intercepted a package containing eighteen severed human heads yesterday, and are getting a little tired of everyone acting like it's weird. "Everybody here is ‘Oh...
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Oil-Loving Smoothie Bar Owner 'Taxes' Liberals One Dollar Extra Per Drink
The oil-obsessed owner of a juice and smoothie bar in the Eastern Utah town of Vernal says he's trying to make a point about fiscal responsibility by charging liberal patrons a dollar a dollar extra...
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David Brooks Columns Are Required Reading for the Yale Course Taught by David...
David Brooks, author, essayist, columnist for The New York Times, guy who has thoughts, is teaching a class at Yale this semester. Here is the syllabus; authors listed include Edmund Burke, Reinhold...
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Are You Aware that Victor Garber's Boyfriend Is the Hottest Guy in the World?
First things first: Did you even know Victor Garber was gay? Because, according to an interview he recently gave to Greg in Hollywood, everyone on the planet knows that he is. "I don't really talk...
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Hundreds of Cats Being Shipped to Restaurants in China Saved from Slaughter...
A truck hauling over 1,000 cats stuffed into some 40 cages was involved in a traffic accident in Changsha, the capital city of China's Hunan province, giving local animal activists time to free them....
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Woman's eBay Auction Goes Viral After She Accidentally Includes Naked Photo...
An unnamed eBay seller from Oxfordshire has attracted bids well over £150,000 for her yellow ASOS skater dress after accidentally uploading a nude photo of herself to the auction site. The initial...
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The Sweet vs. Dill Relish Imbalance Is an Outrage
Let's examine this issue calmly, one step at a time. People invented pickling thousands of years ago as a way to preserve perishable foods. The preservation comes from acidity. That's that classic,...
View ArticleConcerned Citizen on the Today Show Reminds Everyone That Al Roker Sharted...
This morning on the Today Show, Al Roker was in Chicago to talk to a TV fireman about the weather, but one concerned individual would rather we keep talking about that time when Al Roker #sharted at...
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Game Park Owner Who Advised Couple to 'Stand Closer' to Rhinos Snapped This...
A Johannesburg resident was still in intensive care today — several days after being gored by a rhino while on a game drive through the Aloe Ridge nature reserve in Muldersdrift. A photo released by...
View ArticleThis Is What the Fresh Prince Theme Song Sounds Like After You Run It Through...
You've no doubt heard the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song a million times by now, but how many times have you heard the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song after its been translated through all 64...
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