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Spanish Zookeepers Accidentally Get Chimp Hooked on Human Porn
When employees at Spain's Seville Zoo installed a TV inside the chimpanzee enclosure, they thought they were providing its inhabitants with mental stimulation. At least they got the stimulation part...
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Find All Humans on Earth Who Like Trail Running with Facebook's New Magic...
We've all been there: It's a Tuesday morning and you've got a hankering for some trail running. But your wilderness survival class taught you never to trail run alone. What do you do? With Facebook's...
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Another School Shooting Reported as President Obama Prepares to Unveil Gun...
Police in St. Louis say a part-time student entered the Stevens Institute of Business & Arts this afternoon and promptly shot a longtime administrator in the chest before turning the handgun on...
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Jessica Simpson to Star in NBC Comedy Based on the Life of Jessica Simpson:...
Buoyed by the mostly negative reception of Jessica Simpson's 2006 feature film, Employee of the Month, NBC has just revealed it is developing a scripted comedy based on her hilarious life. It seems...
View ArticleHere Is Footage of Selena Gomez Drunk at a Golden Globes After Party
Like everybody else in Hollywood, Disney Channel alum Selena Gomez was trashed after Sunday's Golden Globes ceremony. Watch above as Justin Bieber's 20-year-old ex wobbles and slurs gushing praise for...
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Tony Danza Says the Flu Made Him Puke on a Plane; His Seatmate Kate Upton...
The New York Post's Page Six reported today that Tony Danza "freaked out several passengers" in First Class during a weekend flight from New York to Los Angeles after he suddenly yaxied his guts into...
View ArticleBehind the 'Sandy Hook Truther' Conspiracy Video That Five Million People...
"This is a simple, logical video," the text on the screen reads. "No aliens, holigrams, rituals or anything like that, just facts." (All sic.) There's some light piano (from Guns 'n Roses'...
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Amanda Bynes Put a Little Stud in Her Cheek, I Guess Because She's Done Being...
Who is Amanda Bynes? Every once in a while, she drives her car into the wall of our lives, to lock herself in our cupcake shop bathrooms; to stand, naked and dreaming, in our tanning salon lobbies. To...
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Texas Lawmaker Wants to Lock Up Federal Officials Who Enforce Gun Control...
A Texas state legislator announced today that he has filed a bill aimed at preventing any new federal gun laws from being enforced in his state. Republican Rep. Steve Toth's "Firearms Protection Act"...
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Rupert Murdoch Would Like to Know: "How Did Fat Lady Who Fell Thru Street Get...
Two months ago, Rupert Murdoch asked a question about the "Jewish owned press." As you might expect, it didn't go over so well, and he issued a half-assed apology. But did he learn his lesson? Of...
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Pooping Man Killed by Subway Train As Second Man Is Injured Nearby
This is a weird one. A man was killed Tuesday afternoon after he fell from a moving subway train onto the tracks. But how did he fall, you ask? He was shitting between cars, as one does, when he...
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Satanists Are Now Supporting Florida Governor Rick Scott
Florida Governor Rick Scott made headlines recently after he was exposed as an awful, dog-abandoning political hack. Well, the hack part wasn't exactly news, but the dog-abandoning was. His approval...
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Angry Sandwich Lovers Demand to Know Why Subway's Footlong is an Inch Shorter...
When Australian Matt Corby posted a photo of his newly acquired Subway sandwich to the Subway Facebook page demanding to know why the so-called "footlong" was only 11 inches long, he most likely...
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Matt Drudge Misunderstands Basic Meteorological Phenomenon
Matt Drudge, the Offer Nissim superfan who runs the link aggregator of record for black-on-white crime and Michelle Obama's eating habits, is in Washington, D.C., today, for some reason, where he is...
View ArticleEvery Advancement in Human Technology Has Been Leading Up to This Moment: Two...
"Hello, This is Dog" gets a very necessary 21st century update thanks to Ali Wasel, who found a canine buddy for her wire fox terrier Gaytor to chat with on Skype. [Tastefully Offensive]
View ArticleHey Idiots, Jennifer Lawrence Didn't Dis Meryl Streep — She Was Quoting First...
On the Late Show with David Letterman last night, smart-mouthed superstar Jennifer Lawrence explained her controversial acceptance speech for Best Actress - Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical for...
View ArticleJimmy Kimmel Skewers Los Angeles' Reaction to 'Arctic Blast'
In case Twitter hasn't told you, it's very cold in Los Angeles right now. Well, 50 degrees, otherwise known as summer in Milwaukee. But our taco-eating, trail-running bretheren are sensitive, okay? On...
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'Unapologetically Honest' Wall Street Internship Cover Letter from 'Nothing...
The phrase "honesty is the best policy" probably wasn't coined by someone trying to land a job on Wall Street. But one finance major from an "average university" decided to give frankness a shot in his...
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Colleges Spend Much More Money on Athletes than on Students, Because Athletes...
In case any unimportant "regular" college students were operating under the delusion that your university's boilerplate about how "Academics Come First" was actually a meaningful statement of values,...
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Gawker Is Hiring Editorial Fellows, Not Interns, No, Never Interns, in New York
Gawker is now hiring Editorial Fellows for our New York office. Editorial Fellows are Gawker's entry level editorial positions. The ideal Editorial Fellow candidate is a strong writer with a discerning...
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