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About-Face: Marine Corps Spokesman Says Beyoncé Lip-Syncing Claims Are False
Despite an earlier claim by a Marine Band spokeswoman that quite possibly invalidated the inauguration, a Marine Corps spokesman is now denying that the Marine Band has the authority to say whether or...
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Watch a Woman Fall Into a Frozen Canal While Texting Her Boyfriend
A woman distracted by a text fell feet-first into a frozen canal in Birmingham — and the entire incident was caught on tape thanks to England's ubiquitous CCTV cameras. Laura Safe, a newsreader for...
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Women In Combat: The New Conservative Case Against Female Autonomy
In the hours since Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta agreed to lift the nearly 20-year-old ban on women serving in military combat units, a significant number of conservative commentators have come...
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Here Is the List of Songs Beyoncé Plans to Not Lip-Synch at the Super Bowl
Months before Beyoncé murdered millions of Americans by singing over a previously recorded track at the presidential inauguration, someone asked her to sing songs at the Super Bowl. Now Us Weekly has...
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Watch Katie Couric Call Manti Te’o Stupid, Over and Over
Katie Couric's much-anticipated interview with Manti Te'o aired this afternoon and while it's hard to say anyone was surprised by the football star's fumbling manner and general stupidity, who knew...
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Doctor Pees on Dentist's Door in Most Feeble, Passive-Aggressive Retaliation...
If someone testifies against you in court, there are a number of ways you can get back at them. Of course it should be noted that you should definitely not try and get back at them, unless you...
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The Government's Asinine Advice on How to Avoid 'Sweetheart Scams' Wouldn't...
The government today kinda-sorta weighed in on the whole Manti Te'o hoax thing by issuing a set of State Department guidelines on how to avoid being the victim of "Internet Dating Scams." That's all...
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Nominees For Homecoming King At Tennessee High School Give Crown to Student...
Scotty Maloney is this year's homecoming king at Unionville Community High School in Unionville, Tenn. Maloney didn't win a vote of his peers, nor was he nominated. Instead, Maloney was awarded the...
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Here is the Republican Plan to Rig Presidential Elections
Conservatives thought they were going to win the 2012 Presidential Election. Instead, they were trounced by Barack Obama for the second time, sending the party off to search if not for its soul, then...
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Here's The Lineup for This Year's Coachella Music Festival (For Real, This Time)
After a few rumors and some (fairly obviously) fakeouts, the really real lineup for the 2013 Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival has finally been revealed. Nope, no Rolling Stones, but The Stone...
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Match.com User Who Was Nearly Stabbed to Death by Her Match Sues the Online...
A woman who was stabbed and beaten by a man she met through Match.com is suing the online dating site, alleging that it doesn't do enough screen out violent offenders and warn users of potential...
View ArticleMatt Damon Puts an End to Years of Being Bumped from Jimmy Kimmel Live by...
Every night for the past several years, Jimmy Kimmel has been signing off his eponymous show by apologizing to Matt Damon for running out of time. The gag was funny to everyone except one person: Matt...
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Old People Gotta Work Now
The "American Dream," which is dead, is to work a steady job for four decades or so, buy a house, watch some football, make some pineapple upside-down cake, and then retire at age 65 with a little...
View ArticleOh My Gah a Scottie Puppy Pinwheel
A litter of tiny Scottish Terrier puppies crowded around the same goat's milk bowl produces a natural phenomenon known as a "Scottie Pinwheel." Have you ever seen anything more adorable in your life?...
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Prostitute Accepts Undercover Cop's Invitation to Meet Inside Police Station
A woman in Oregon was charged with prostitution and promoting prostitution after she walked into a police station in Salem to meet with a client. The client turned out to be an undercover street...
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German Soldiers Are Growing Boobs On One Side of Their Bodies, Oh, Okay
Are you there, God? It's me, German Soldiers. I'm growing breasts on one side of my body. Let's rap about that. According to a report in the Cologne Express (link in German), soldiers from Germany's...
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Expensive Colleges: Bullshit
New research indicates that paying a lot of money for college is bullshit. Research presented here by researchers from Wabash College — and based on national data sets — finds that there may be a...
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X-Rated Email Exchange Between Two Office Workers Goes Viral After One of...
A pair of employees at a Scottish oil company had their — and everyone else's — worst nightmare realized this week after accidentally forwarding a series of private steamy exchanges to the entire...
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Chicago Public School Email Directs Parents to Sexy Website
Chicago Public School officials have apologized for an email typo that directed parents to a website dedicated to "explor[ing] and enrich[ing] women's sex lives and sensuality." The email was sent to...
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The Best of Toronto's Insane, Terrible Mayor Rob Ford: an Introduction for...
Fellow American: have you heard of Rob Ford, portly Canadian football fan and Mayor of Toronto, Canada's version of New York City? If not, you are missing out — and you better get on the Ford bandwagon...
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