The Three Most Vicious Lies About Celery
Certain things cannot be borne. There are limits to what the people will put up with from its news outlets, and the Times' recent attempt to trick us all into eating celery goes beyond the confines of...
View ArticleThis Week in Sinister Evolutionary Leaps: Cooperative Spiders
Last time in sinister evolutionary leaps: catfish eating pigeons. This time, it's two different spider species working together for mysterious purposes. A team led by Lena Grinsted of Aarhus...
View ArticleTexas' Charity Anti-Abortion License Plates Benefit Exactly Zero Charities
In May of 2011, Texas approved the sale of those charming "Choose Life" license plates, featuring precocious, blue-haired crayon kids. Fork $30 over and everyone on the Mixmaster (the best-named...
View ArticleYou Only Have Four Days Left to Bid on This Rotten Twinkie
From reader John: a rotten, cling-wrapped Twinkie (a "scientific and historical curiosity") is yours for the bidding, starting at $25, less shipping. Condition: New: A brand-new, unused, unopened,...
View ArticleNightclub Fire in Brazil Kills at Least 232 [UPDATE]
Officials say at least 232 people died in a nightclub fire overnight in Brazil, and that number is expected to climb. Fire broke out at the Kiss nightclub in Santa Maria around 2:00 a.m. Col. Adilomar...
View ArticleTurnout for Yesterday's Pro-Gun Control Rally Dwarfed By Yesterday's...
Around 6,000 people showed up to yesterday's gun-control rally in Washington, according to NYMag. Reuters reported a vaguer "thousands," including a group of Newtown, CT residents who were bussed in....
View ArticleThree Connecticut Cops Put on 'Desk Duty' After Beating Stunned Suspect in...
Almost two years after beating a stunned and unresponsive suspect in a public park, three Connecticut cops were finally placed on "desk duty" yesterday after footage of the attack had been made...
View ArticleHorrifying Images from the Brazilian Nightclub Fire
More than 200 people, most of them college-aged, are dead following a fire at a nightclub called Kiss in Brazil. This is what Kiss looked like before the fire. It's located in the middle of Santa...
View ArticleWas the Front Door Locked at Kiss Nightclub When Deadly Fire Broke Out?
One of the reasons this morning's fire at the Kiss nightclub in Santa Maria was so deadly is because the front door was locked at the time the fire broke out, according to Brazilian newspaper Journal...
View ArticleMore than 200 Dead in Brazilian Nightclub Inferno
Nightclub Fire in Brazil Kills at Least 232 Officials say at least 232 people died in a nightclub fire overnight in Brazil, and that number is expected to climb. More » Was the Front Door Locked at...
View ArticleDallas Police Very Close to Figuring Out What 'Molly' Is
Police officers in Dallas are on the brink of a major breakthrough: they're going to figure out what drug "Molly" is and where you're getting it. In North Texas and across the country there is a...
View ArticleForgiving The New York Times For This Perfect Wedding Announcement
There is a great deal to ridicule about the New York Times' "Weddings and Celebrations" section most of the time, and it is right and meet for us to come together and do so. But every now and again...
View ArticleTwitter's Vine is America's Hottest New Porn Search Engine
The internet and porn: it's a match made in heaven your mom's basement. Twitter's new sorta-GIF, sorta-video sharing app Vine is really catching on with voyeurs and exhibitionists. Searching #dick or...
View ArticleBFFs Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton Say Giddy Goodbye on 60 Minutes
Tonight on 60 Minutes, with Steve Kroft playing Andy Cohen to Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton's Real Housewives, the president and the secretary of state had the reunion episode of their terrific show...
View ArticleAll of the Lies in This New York Times Story About Nepotism
We'd be remiss if we let this story from the New York Times' weekend Real Estate section pass without taking a moment to remark upon the fact that it is little more than a litany of lies. The headline:...
View ArticleThe Girl Who Ate Her Own Tampon and the Guy Who Ate His Own Shit Join Forces,...
You know the story: Boy films himself eating his own shit mixed with ice cream. Girl films herself sucking out the blood from her own tampon. Boy meets girl. Boy convinces girl to share the limelight....
View ArticleMayor Bloomberg to Journalist: 'Look at the Ass On Her'
New York magazine's latest cover story on Christine Quinn, a leading candidate for the New York City mayorship, is worth reading to better understand the sharp, ambitious, lesbian, Democratic city...
View ArticleThe Internet Eats Itself: Porn Stars Reenact Famous Memes
The Internet is for two things and two things only: Porn and memes. Why, then, did it take this long for someone to put the two together? No matter, the wait is over: Wood Rocket (NSFW), which is...
View ArticleWe've Passed Peak Barnes & Noble
The national book store chain Borders folded in 2011, leaving Barnes & Noble as the undisputed king of Big Huge Chain Bookstores. In that specific industry, B&N has had no competition for the...
View ArticleOne Small Step for a Sad Monkey: The Iranians Say They Shot This Monkey Into...
Iran today claimed it took an important step toward manned space flight by successfully sending a monkey on a sub-orbital flight, and returning him safely to the ground. "This success is the first...
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