This Is Just a Harmless, Good-Natured Prank That Nearly Gave Its Victim a...
On their way back from a recent snowboarding trip to the French Alps, a group of friends from Ireland decided to prank their peacefully slumbering pal Adrian Byrne (AKA Juicy from Donegal, whatever...
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What The Hell Was NBC DFW Thinking With This Incredibly Insensitive Facebook...
An NBC affiliate serving the Dallas-Fort Worth area was forced to apologize today after posting a shockingly tasteless write-up of a soldier's death on their Facebook page. "BOOops," began the post...
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The Pentagon Is Apparently Letting Redditors Pilot Drones
America's deadly flying war robots are in the hands of users of the popular geek message board Reddit. And as with any profession in which Redditors can be found, U.S. Army drone operators have...
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Dershowitz, Guns and Other Controversies You Drummed Up Again This Week
Big weekend, guys, huh? The Super Bowl? Beyoncé's going to be there? And Jay-Z and Destiny's Child (but not Michelle) maybe? Also that guy. The one with the tattoos. He'll probably be there too,...
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Ed Koch's Greatest Failure
When former mayor Ed Koch died early yesterday morning, the accolades were quick to descend: he was a "a great man," who "did good," ebulliently pulling his city out of the worst financial disaster it...
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Groundhog King Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Early Spring
The King of the Groundhogs "Punxsutawney Phil" was awoken at the ungodly hour of 7:28 this morning, groggily emerging from his harem filled with lady-groundhogs ("Who are the lady groundhogs, anyway?...
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RedTube: Making Love With Miela
It is 4:26 in the afternoon on a Thursday and I'm fucking myself with my toothbrush. Oral B CrossAction. My toe knuckles are whitening with tension as the soles of my feet squeeze harder against one...
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This Year's Illuminati-Super Bowl Connection is More Sinister Than Ever
How deep does the Super Bowl Illuminati rabbit hole go? As deep as all rabbit holes: straight into hell. You remember, of course, last year's Illuminati-sponsored halftime show, after which Queen...
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White House Releases Literal Smoking Gun to Prove Obama Uses Guns
In an interview last week with The New New Republic, President Obama revealed that "we do skeet shooting all the time" at Camp David. Not everyone believes him. In response to these "Skeet Truthers",...
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Alabama Hostage Stand-off Enters 5th Day
In case the news-cycle warped right past it, just a quick reminder that there is still a Vietnam vet holding a child hostage in an underground bunker in Alabama. After five days, no progress has been...
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This Week in Health Crises: 'River Blindness', a New Flu, and the FDA's...
The world is not a safe place. You are, we trust, already doing what you can to protect yourself against the regular flu, but while you've been washing your hands until the skin on your knuckles...
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French Move Closer to Same-Sex Marriage
France, hotbed of infidelity, has taken one step closer to allowing same-sex couples the privilege of having extra-marital affairs. This morning, the National Assembly, which is the lower house of...
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Variations on Horror Themes: The Zombie Flick, The Anthology, The...
This week sees the release of three new horror movies: Warm Bodies, Girls Against Boys (both in theaters) and The ABCs of Death (on demand). But it is not enough anymore merely to be a horror movie —...
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There Are Only 300 Wolverines Left in America
Officials at the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service are trying to include wolverines as threatened members of the Endangered Species List (there are only about 300 remaining in the lower 48 states), and...
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Argentina Says 'Fuck You, You Can't Take Our Boats'
Last October, billionaire hedge fund manager Paul Singer tracked the course of a Argentine navy ship, Libertad, as it crossed the globe. When it docked in Ghana, his firm, NML Capital, convinced a...
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Washington State Needs a Gnar Czar
After voting to legalize the sale of the dankest of herbs last November, Washington State is looking to fill the position of Marijuana Consultant. Qualifications for the job include: three years of...
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A Guide to Not Watching the Super Bowl
This Sunday, millions of Americans will watch two siblings square off, blood against blood, as they attempt to achieve the single most important goal of their lives. That's on E!, which will be airing...
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American Sniper Author Shot Dead at Gun Range
Chris Kyle, a former Navy SEAL whose book American Sniper detailed his over 150 confirmed kills, was shot dead at a gun range in Texas on Saturday afternoon. Kyle, 38, who had recently appeared on the...
View ArticleFox News Host Tells NRA Chief 'That's Ridiculous and You Know It, Sir.'
Appearing on Fox News this morning, NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre reiterated his organization's claim in a recent ad that all American children deserve the same amount of protection that the President...
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If a Real Raven Fought a Real 49er, Who Would Win?
This evening's Super Bowl, which pits the Baltimore Ravens against the San Francisco 49ers, raises an obvious question: if a real Corvus corax fought a real 19th-century California gold panner, who...
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