Reminder: There Are Still Some Things That Don't Suck
Between this morning's tragic mass shooting in Webster, the news that thousands have hijacked a federal petitioning system in order to demand the deportation of a journalist exercising his right to...
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"Your Coworkers Complained About Your Flatulence": Federal Employee Formally...
What were you doing on Thursday, November 8 at 2:29pm? Checking Facebook? Answering e-mails? Some awesome dude in Maryland was busy farting. A 38-year-old professional flatulist has been working...
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The Day We Became Cynical: How Did You Find Out Santa Isn't Real?
Every child eventually experiences that crushing day when he or she realizes that Santa Claus, that totally implausible overweight gift-giver, is (SPOILER) not real. For those of us who thrive on...
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'Do You Hear What I Hear?' Share Your Favorite Christmas Songs With Us
Do you hear that? It's the triumphant wail of Mariah Carey, another $6 million in her bank account, after your Aunt Sheila's 16th playing of "All I Want for Christmas is You." Christmas music. Some...
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Midtown Manhattan Assassination Reportedly Retaliation for Fraudulent Cocaine...
According to DNAinfo.com's Murray Weiss, the brazen and mysterious daytime assassination of Los Angeles law student Brandon Woodard was the result of a massive drug deal gone wrong. Sources in law...
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Bad Last Minute Gift Idea: Counterfeit Botox
If you'd considered getting or giving "wrinkle treatment" as holiday gift, perhaps you should reconsider. Of course, there are many reasons why you should reconsider but here's the most urgent one:...
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Police in Newtown Won't Have to Work Christmas Day Due to Generosity of...
After a day full of mostly terrible events, including another mass shooting and the drowning of a hero, we were due for some good news and here it is: Thanks to the generosity of officers from across...
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Come Join Us 'Round the Yule Log GIF
We're signing off until tomorrow morning, but we invite you to circle 'round the Gawker Yule Log GIF and complain about your family in the comfort of its looping digital glow. Happy Holidays, everyone....
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Drake Wants Royalties For That YOLO Hat (and That YOLO Shirt, Too)
It's true — you only do live once, and in this lifetime, Drake wants a check for all that YOLO merchandise. The Canadian teardrop shed the holiday spirit on Christmas Eve in favor of a capitalist one,...
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All These People Got Arrested on Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve is a time to be spent in the company of your loving family — unless like me, for instance, you're a Jew who lives halfway across the country and instead went to see "Lincoln" alone (wow,...
View ArticleCats and Dogs Opening Their Christmas Presents is the Cutest Thing of the...
Today isn't just human Christmas, you guys. It's also pet Christmas, where people wrap and give gifts to their pets despite the animals having literally no idea what's going on. Nonetheless, watching...
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Man Who Shot 4 Firefighters Said in Suicide Note That Killing People Was What...
William Spengler Jr. — the man in upstate New York who ambushed four firefighters yesterday, killing two — left a three-page suicide note including this line, made public by police: "I still have to...
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Merry Christmas From the Feds, Who Can Still Read Your Emails Without a Warrant
It's no secret that the CIA and FBI can read your emails for any old reason they choose without having to clear it with anyone first (because you're a terrorist). That was on track to change with an...
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'Christmas Sucks': Spoiled Brats Whine About Their Free Gifts on Twitter
While you were busy spending Christmas Day appreciating the fact that you were alive and well and had people in your life that loved enough about you to buy you anything, let alone something that cost...
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Naughty Little Girl Shows Off Her Christmas Spirit in Best Santa Photo Ever
Some might argue that this is the best "photo with Santa" ever — and thousands of Facebook likes do make a strong case — but for my money, iconoclast wins over cutesy any day. Okay, so she may just be...
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How a Former Congressman Staged a Literal Armed Coup of a Tea Party Group,...
In September, Dick Armey, the former Republican House Majority Leader, wanted to re-assert control of FreedomWorks, the influential Tea Party political action group of which he was chair. So he did...
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Newspaper Publishes Names, Addresses of Local Gun Permit Holders; Some People...
Doxxing has officially gone mainstream: The controversial practice of posting an individual's personal contact information in the name of public interest has been employed by a local New York daily to...
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Private Zuckerberg Family Moment Inadvertently Made Public Thanks to Facebook
I guess this is what happens when you take shortcuts to privacy. Randi Zuckerberg, older sibling to Facebook's head honcho and the social network's former marketing director, is the latest in an...
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The 42 Biggest News Events of 2012, as Experienced through Dr. Ruth's...
"I'll use any excuse to teach new positions & give advice," tweeted the popular sexpert and Holocaust survivor Dr. Ruth Westheimer earlier this year. And so it was: when she wasn't tweeting about...
View ArticleDavid Gregory Is Under Police Investigation Over Illegal Gun Clip on Meet the...
Since there's virtually no actual crime in Washington, D.C., officers of the Washington Metropolitan Police Department have set their sights on NBC's resident silverfox/bad boy David Gregory....
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