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Introducing Your Papal Frontrunners
When Pope Benedict XVI resigned earlier this week due to his advanced age, Catholics across the world seemed sure about one thing: The next guy has got to be younger. Along with that, he (or she?! no,...
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André Leon Talley Bids Au Revoir to Vogue
After a three-decade residency at Vogue, contributing editor André Leon Talley is leaving the magazine. Beyond the masthead, you might recognize ALT from his Louis Vuitton-clad tennis practice in The...
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CNN's '11 Meteor Tweets We Wish We'd Thought Of' Bums Me Out
Ratings-starved CNN is changing its focus, and that's cool. They hadn't been committed to straight news reporting for some time, but really hadn't fully made the leap into baseless sensationalism until...
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13,200 Boxes of Unsold, Perfectly Delicious Girl Scout Cookies Destroyed...
Just when you thought the Boy Scouts of America had a monopoly on organizational misbehavior, CBS Los Angeles discovered a video showing more than 13,000 boxes of unsold, unexpired Girl Scout cookies...
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Emory University President Praises Three-Fifths Compromise As Great...
Writing in the winter issue of Emory Magazine, President James Wagner rhapsodizes about the need for compromise in a politically turbulent society. He points out that the constitution was in itself a...
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"You Should Fart on Airplanes" –Science
A study published yesterday in The New Zealand Medical Journal suggests that you—yes, you—should fart on airplanes. Congratulations. Though I wanted very badly to believe that flatulence might have...
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Facebook Will Pay No Taxes, Get Huge Refund Instead
During the year it went public, Facebook made $1.1 billion in profits. But thanks to some nifty accounting, the company won't be paying any federal or state taxes on it — instead, it will actually be...
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Forest Whitaker Accused of Shoplifting, Frisked at Upper West Side Deli
Oscar winner Forest Whitaker was wrongly accused of shoplifting and subjected to a humiliating pat down at a Morningside Heights deli on Friday morning. If West Side Story were written today, "Officer...
View ArticleWatch Oprah Kiss 'Preeminent Mistress of the Universe' Beyoncé's Ass for...
Last night, two space aliens sat down on a couch and drooled at each other in a pantomime of human interaction on Oprah's Next Chapter. For an unilluminating hour Oprah Winfrey surrendered her usual...
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Cooper Union Might Not Be Free Anymore
Tuition-free arts school Cooper Union, whose new academic building peeks out of Cooper Square like a beautiful, serene spaceship, will most likely start charging students tuition to make up for a...
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Lamest Thieves Ever Pull Off Lamest Heist Ever at Four Seasons Hotel
Early Saturday morning, a trio of thieves made off with $2 million in jewelry from a Jacob & Co. case in the lobby of Manhattan's Four Seasons Hotel. Although the New York Post insists on...
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NYC Shelters Turning Away Families Despite Dangerously Cold Temperatures
Despite this winter actually acting wintry and cold, NYC homeless shelters have been turning away homeless families on freezing nights if they cannot prove they have nowhere else to go, the Daily News...
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Maker's Mark Won't Dilute Their Bourbon After All
Last week, Maker's Mark faced a public backlash after announcing they would lower the alcohol content of their whiskey to meet increased demand with a limited supply (read: they think you can't handle...
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'Animals Can't Talk,' Points Out Patch Columnist
"Local Voice" Kathleen O'Brien Wilhelm, writing in the Avon Lake, Ohio Patch, thinks it's just downright wasteful to put up "Deer Crossing" signs. Why? Because they can't read, silly! Signs that read...
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Controversial Gun Raffles to Take Place in New Hampshire, North Dakota
Turns out "gun raffle" isn't just a folksy term for Russian roulette. The New Hampshire Association of Chiefs of Police will give away a gun a day in May, with the proceeds from ticket sales to defray...
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New York Fed Still Bailing Out Bank of America
When the banks got bailed out, people were reasonably upset — why should huge corporate banks be given public money to recover from the disaster of their own greed and incompetence? Others argued that...
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Iceland Might Ban Internet Porn
Iceland could (but probably won't) become the first Western democracy to censor Internet porn. Halla Gunnarsdóttir, an adviser to the interior minister, explains the country's anti-smut rationale to...
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Using Logic, Man Attacks Rihanna Out of Hatred for Chris Brown
While clubbing in London last night, Rihanna was injured when a man "enraged" by her reunion with King Scumbag Chris Brown threw a bottle of Lucozade (think British Gatorade) at her. She fell to the...
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Racist Airplane Passenger Who Allegedly Slapped a Two-Year-Old Toddler Is Now...
In case you're not up to date on this story, on February 8 Joe Rickey Hundley allegedly slapped a crying two-year-old during a flight from Minneapolis to Atlanta. Pretty atrocious, right? But it gets...
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Country Star Mindy McCready Becomes Fifth Celebrity Rehab Participant to Die
With country star Mindy McCready's Sunday-afternoon suicide, the total number of Celebrity Rehab deaths has reached five. Sixth months ago, The Daily Beast wondered if the VH1 reality show was a "death...
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