According to a recorded phone conversation with his mother, alleged Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has received at least $1000 in donations for his prison account. This shouldn't exactly come as a surprise, considering his loyal fanbase.

In late January, the Miami New Times broke the story of South Florida's Biogenesis anti-aging clinic, the shop that allegedly provided human growth hormone and other drugs to major leaguers. The press uncovered records linking lots of big names—Ryan Braun, Alex Rodriguez, Nelson Cruz—to Biogenesis's man in charge, Anthony Bosch. But no one had a sense then of whether the news'd change anything in MLB. The clinic's records were on the sloppy side; the players weren't facing any criminal charges; and MLB couldn't even get its hands on the evidence. But two months ago, MLB decided to buy the clinic's records from a former employee. And this week, according to T.J. Quinn, Mike Fish, and Pedro Gomez of Outside the Lines, MLB reached a deal with Bosch himself—whom the league had sued, in hopes of getting the documents, in late March. He'll spill, and the league will seek big, honking, vengeful suspensions against his alleged clients.

OTL writes:

Major League Baseball will seek to suspend about 20 players connected to the Miami-area clinic at the heart of an ongoing performance-enhancing drug scandal, including Alex Rodriguez and Ryan Braun, possibly within the next few weeks, "Outside the Lines" has learned. If the suspensions are upheld, the performance-enhancing drug scandal would be the largest in American sports history.

Tony Bosch, founder of the now-shuttered Biogenesis of America, reached an agreement this week to cooperate with MLB's investigation, two sources told "Outside the Lines," giving MLB the ammunition officials believe they need to suspend the players.

One source familiar with the case said the commissioner's office might seek 100-game suspensions for Rodriguez, Braun and other players, the penalty for a second doping offense. The argument, the source said, is the players' connection to Bosch constitutes one offense, and previous statements to MLB officials denying any such connection or the use of PEDs constitute another. Bosch and his attorneys did not return several calls. MLB officials refused to comment when reached Tuesday.

The full list of players likely facing MLB's scythe, according to ESPN: Rodriguez, Braun, Cruz, Melky Cabrera, Bartolo Colon, Gio Gonzalez, Yasmani Grandal, Francisco Cervelli, Jesus Montero, Jhonny Peralta, Fernando Martinez, Everth Cabrera, Fautino de los Santos, Jordan Noberto, and Mets minor leaguer Cesar Puello. Bosch may add names to that list. So many suspensions! So much vengeance!

Except: Does the procedural underpinning of the double-your-pleasure, double-your-fun suspension make sense? The league hates A-Rod, and it hates Braun, a star who wriggled his way out of drug trouble in 2012, even more. They're the white whales of this phase of the steroid era. But the league has to get those suspensions past a powerful players' union, one that presumably sees an unreasonable logical leap in the league equating a lie to investigators with a drug offense.

And how tenable is the first layer of suspensions, even? The league has no biological evidence of players drugging themselves. Instead MLB has some scribbled records, and now it has, after striking a deal, the man who allegedly scribbled those records. The joint drug agreement covers players who have been convicted of possession of performance-enhancers, and those who have tested positive, but it has little to say about offenders who have been identified by a league investigation, let alone a half-assed, ethically bankrupt, scuzz-money-funded one. These suspensions, premised on flimsy evidence, are a long way from holding up. So far from holding up, indeed, that we have to ask: Is Bud Selig on freaking acid? Someone should look into that.

Two weeks ago, President Obama was heckled by anti-war protester Medea Benjamin during a speech about drones and national security. The president handled it respectfully enough, acknowledging Benjamin and saying her “voice...is worth paying attention to.” Tuesday evening, Michelle Obama faced a similar situation when her speech during a Democratic Party fundraiser was interrupted by activist Ellen Sturtz from LGBT rights group GetEqual. The First Lady's response was...not quite as graceful as her husband's two weeks ago.

The Washington Post reports Obama paused her speech and confronted Sturtz “eye to eye”:

“One of the things that I don’t do well is this,” she said to applause from most of the guests, according to a White House transcript. “Do you understand?”

A pool report from a reporter in the room said Obama “left the lectern and moved over to the protester.” The pool report quoted Obama as saying: “Listen to me or you can take the mic, but I’m leaving. You all decide. You have one choice.”

The crowd immediately began to shout that they wanted the First Lady to stay, and a woman seated near Sturtz told her, “You need to go!”

Sturtz was escorted out, reportedly shouting that she was a “…lesbian looking for federal equality before I die.”

In an interview after the speech, Sturtz told the Washington Post she was caught off guard by the Obama's response.

“She came right down in my face,” Sturtz said. “I was taken aback.”

Sturtz's protest called for President Obama to sign an executive order that would prohibit contractors from discriminating based on sexual orientation or idenity. “I said I want your husband to sign the executive order,” Sturtz said. “Her husband could sign this order tonight and protect 22 percent of the work force in this country.”

[via Daily Intelligencer/Washington Post/Buzzfeed/Image via AP]

To contact the author of this post, email taylor@gawker.com

National Security Advisor Tom Donilon will resign at the end of this month. His replacement is U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, who withdrew her nomination as Secretary of State last year when Republicans threatened to holler more about Benghazi.

In a creative twist on the old "dog poop on the porch" gag, one small town has been scooping up abandoned canine excrement and shipping it back to the dog owners who failed to pick it up.

The Madrid-adjacent municipality of Brunete teamed up with venerable ad agency McCann Erickson to launch a campaign aimed at reducing the amount of dog poop found in the town's streets.

The stunt involved sending out volunteers to spot irresponsible dog owners and engage them in light conversation so as to determine their dog's name and breed.

"With the name of the dog and the breed it was possible to identify the owner from the registered pet database held in the town hall," a spokesman for the town council is quoted as saying.

The uncollected "caca" would then be scooped up and placed in a box marked "lost property" and shipped express back to its rightful owner.

The campaign not only helped reduce the quantity of unclaimed dog crap by 70 percent, it also won McCann the Silver Sun award at last weekend's Latin American Festival of Advertising Communication.

[H/T: Uproxx]

Qusayr, a strategically important town on the border between Syria and Lebanon, is back under the control of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad after a two-week siege by Assad's troops and the Lebanese militia Hezbollah.

Syrian government flags were hoisted above the town on Wednesday after most of the rebels beat a retreat to a nearby village. Rebels had controlled the town since early 2012, and managed to hold on for longer than expected during the siege. But despite inflicting—in the words of the Times—"unaccustomed casualties on Hezbollah’s seasoned fighters," they couldn't overcome dwindling ammunition or medical supplies, or the absence of reinforcements, who were blocked by the much larger force surrounding the town. Worse, Red Crescent workers were prevented from entering Qusayr:

The retreat apparently followed an intervention by the United Nations, which had expressed concern about a humanitarian crisis in the city, especially after the government and Hezbollah refused to allow Red Crescent humanitarian workers into the city before the end of military operations.

A member of the Syrian National Coalition, the main exile opposition group, said on condition of anonymity that after mediation by the Lebanese politician Walid Jumblatt, United Nations officials relayed a message that Mr. Assad had agreed to allow the wounded to leave on condition that “armed gangs” leave Qusayr and hand over the city.

The city, a crucial point on the supply route between Lebanon and Syria, was taken in an apparent early-morning surprise attack. Its seizure marks the largest and most successful operation by Hezbollah inside Syria, and the battle between the Shi'ite forces of Assad's army and the Sunni rebels—including some non-Syrian jihadists—was rife with sectarian tension.

Meanwhile, in Aleppo, a missile attack killed 26, including both rebels and government fighters.

Though their grape smashing continues to hold authority across the globe, French wine-makers once had to be taught how to grow, stomp, swill their grapes. Molecular analysis of ancient wine pots and presses in the south of France indicates that the Italians instructed the French on the best methods to turn a delicious snack food into a refined grape beverage.

Leading this world-churning expose is a man, who is referred to as the "Indiana Jones of Ancient Ales, Wines, and Extreme Beverages" on his professor bio page—Dr. Patrick McGovern. Working in the south of France, McGovern-Indiana-Jones oversaw a brave team of molecular archeologists to trace which culture got to the grapes first.

It was in Southern France that McGovern-Indiana-Jones and his team pored over some molecules to analyze—namely the grime that festers in the bottom of wine glasses, but thousands of years old. They discovered wine in southern France that dated from about 500-475 BC. However, the Indiana-Jones-Booze-Team believes this beverage was imported as the pots were Etruscan and herbal and pine resin was most likely added to keep it fresh during transit. They estimate the the first French vintage dates to 425 BC.

The Eurasian grape, vitis vinifera, was first domesticated about 9,000 years ago. After transforming the grapes into a sophisticated fruit beverage, Greek and Phoenician merchants knew their favorite drink was too delicious to keep to themselves. They got in some boats, brought their vino aboard, and helped to set up vineyards in central Italy in the eighth century BC.

The party hop continued about two hundred years later, when the Italians were like let's show this off. McGovern confirms they made like the Phoenicians, "building ships and carrying their wine over to southern France." Upon first sipping this vinous liquid, the ancient French were like eh, but of course, we must make this into something—how do you say—drinkable? acceptable? So, the ancient French acquired some grapevines and most likely working "under Estruscan tutelage," they started to produce wine in Southern France.

In the centuries later, vinous Indiana Jones confirms that the French established the "world's standard" for winemaking, setting in centuries of beverage superiority.

[The Salt | NPR, image via Bunyos30, Shutterstock]

To contact the author of this post email maggie@gawker.com.

Whitney Houston's daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown has been out of the news since she reaffirmed her love for her adoptive brother Nick Gordon last month, but it appears she's about to make a comeback.

After months of documented noise complaints from neighbors, it appears the late singer's offspring has been kicked out of her Alpharetta, Georgia, apartment building along with Gordon.

And she didn't go quietly.

According to a Reddit user with inside information, Brown left behind a note "thanking" her downstairs neighbors for phoning in the complaints that eventually got her evicted.

"Thanks. You are shit at the bottom of our shoe," Brown allegedly wrote. "Thank you for making a hard year harder. You are a miserable couple, and always will be. You were honored to have us living above you and you couldn't stand such a young beautiful couple being far more successful than you ever will be. I pray your misery doesn't rub off on your innocent little baby."

According to the Redditor, a friend of the couple, the two share a one year old. Among their numerous complaints over the past six months: "Partying until 5 AM on a weekday."

Brown has yet to confirm the claim that she has been removed from her apartment.

Gordon's last tweet from 10 hours ago: "stay Humble and remain Loyal."

[photos via Twitter, Reddit]

In 1956, a drunken patron at a Manhattan bar departed to New Jersey, stole an airplane, flew it to New York City, and landed it in front of the bar on St. Nicholas Ave. He was fined $100. Two years later, he did it again.

CNN released a video of Michelle Obama responding to a heckler last night. The initial confrontation is only on audio, but later there's shaky cell-phone footage of the First Lady walking off-stage before the crowd convinces her to return.

At least six people were killed and 13 were injured in Wednesday's building collapse in Philadelphia, though there is some good news; a 61-year-old woman was found alive in the building's rubble 13 hours after the collapse.

On New Year's Eve last year, a cat was caught smuggling tools into a Brazilian prison. News of that attempt apparently spread to Russia, where at least one inmate inside a north Russian jail convinced an outsider to strap two cell phones to a black-and-white cat before sending the cat crawling over the prison's fence. Alas, this cat was also busted before he could make the delivery.

The cat was attempting to smuggle the two phones, plus extra batteries and charges, into Russia's Komi region's Number one corrective labor camp. Officials there said the attempted breach was the first of its kind.

"They have foiled various attempts to smuggle banned objects into Prison Colony Number One before, but in the case of the cat, the prison colony is at a loss: nothing like this has happened in the prison's history," the regional prison service said.

RIA Novosti notes that cats have been used before in Russia for smuggling items into jail, though typically the items have been drugs, not cell phones. One such scheme, discovered by authorities last August, involved stuffing a cat's collar with heroin, sending him into a prison in Russia's Rostov region, and then having newly released prisoners smuggle the now drugless cat out of jail to waiting drug dealers.

The cell phone-smuggling cat's fate is unknown, according to RIA Novosti.

[CNET/RIA Novosti/Image via Shutterstock]

To contact the author of this post, email taylor@gawker.com

Salaheddin Barhoum and Yassine Zaimi, the Boston-area runners whose faces were slapped on the front page of the New York Post as possible terrorists by possible pig-fucking racist Col Allan, are suing the paper for libel, negligent infliction of emotional distress, and invasion of privacy.

I got my black shirt on. I got my black gloves on. I got my ski mask on. This shit's been too long. COP ANNOYER, better you than me! COP ANNOYER, fuck police tranquility!

...is a song Body Count could be singing if the New York State Senate gets its way. And also if Ice T quit Law and Order, and called up Ernie C, and was like, "let's rewrite 'Cop Killer.'"

A bill passed yesterday by that august legislative body would criminalize "aggravated harassment" of a police officer—making it a felony to, in the words of the accompanying press release, "harass, annoy, or threaten a police officer while on duty."

Obviously, it's not just annoying a police officer that's a felony. You have to annoy a cop, and also "take any type of physical action to try to intimidate" him. It's lucky that we can trust cops to provide truthful and accurate witness testimony, because otherwise this law could be used to arrest and convict people on a very thin pretext!

Having passed the Senate, the bill goes to the New York Assembly, where it will, with any luck die. When it does, we should all annoy a cop in celebration.

Evil Santa George R. R. Martin managed to stop killing beloved book characters long enough to make an appearance on last night's Conan.

But being removed from his Lair of Despair and General Jerkiness for an extended period of time weakens Martin, so Conan offered to revive the author by providing him with his sustenance of choice: The crushed souls of viewers reacting to this week's episode of Game of Thrones.

With his dark heart fully rejuvenated, Martin offered a characteristically indifferent reaction to the infinite sadness of his fans.

By the way, if you're still upset over last Sunday's shocking turn of events, perhaps this alternate ending will be more to your liking (naturally, if you haven't watched the original ending, don't watch this one):

[H/T: Uproxx, Reddit]

Cops apprehended a man with a knife on the plaza outside of the Today show this morning while the hosts filmed the program. The man was cutting himself with the weapon as the security team tackled him.

Lauer reports that the man was intent on harming himself, rather than harming others. The man, who was apprehended by NBC security, did manage to cut himself.

After the incident, the Today hosts reported from inside the studio.

[images via Twitter users @ShawnaMunger, @SirAnduck]

U.S. airline flights haven't been this crowded since WWII.

It might have been a little too 6:45 on a Monday morning for KTLA's feature reporter Allie Mac Kay when part-time sorcerer Justin Willman decided to blow her mind with a very loud illusion, but her reaction was pure magic.

[Clip Nation]

The global business and economic leaders (and the media) who attend meetings of the World Economic Forum are used to five-star hotels, world-class dining, and understated luxury. And for their current meeting, the WEF has brought them all to... Naypyitaw, Myanmar. What is this shit?

The whole god damn city of Naypyitaw, Myanmar is less than a decade old, constructed out of basically nothing, because Myanmar's leaders thought it was better situated, strategically speaking, than the old capital. Just bask in this recap of Naypyitaw's rich history: "Naypyidaw has a short history, having been founded on a greenfield site in the shrubland some 3 kilometres (1.9 mi) west of Pyinmana, and approximately 320 kilometres (200 mi) north of Yangon, with construction starting in 2002."

Sounds like some amazing former shrubland. Just a few months ago, all of these people were in Davos.

There is not one decent Michelin-starred restaurant nor luxury upscale brothel in all of Naypyitaw! What are all these WEF attendees supposed to do? Of course they're all being very polite about it, but it only takes a glance at the Wall Street Journal's story about the meeting to tell that all these titans of business are silently seething at this god damn backwater they've been forced to bunker down in:

This week, Naypyitaw's hotels were hastily installing new ATMs just hours ahead of the start of the forum to ensure delegates would be able to access cash... WEF's famous after-hours networking events may be limited because Naypyitaw has virtually no night life to speak of...

The down-to-earth WEF style for this meeting appears to have disappointed some delegates, one of whom complained about the lack of a cappuccino machines, while others said tiles in hotel showers were broken. "It's not exactly luxury travel," said one delegate from the U.K.

The delegates will of course not let their inability to get a decent cappuccino in this godforsaken shithole to distract them from improving the state of the world by engaging business, political, academic and other leaders of society to shape global, regional and industry agendas.

[WSJ. Action photo of a businessman at work in dynamic Naypyitaw: Flickr]

That headline could signal only one thing: the return of Toddlers & Tiaras. Well, it could signal the apocalypse too, I suppose. Really, the clip reel above from last night's season premiere is all about the first 9 seconds, which made me laugh harder than anything I can remember. Alexa says, "Wheeee!" and I feel her.

The rest is background: Two-year-old Alexa has been drinking coffee every morning since she was 9-months old (don't worry, her doctors say it's fine) and rabidly fiends for an unholy combination of soda, sweet tea and Pixie Stix that her charming mother Tori calls "Tinker tea." That's standard T&T stuff, but Alexa is a remarkable child. By the end of the episode, when she was throwing gibberish at the producers, I like to think that she was just fucking with everyone.

Also, she looks like Jessica Lange.