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The body of a man who had been missing from his Palatine, Illinois, home for several hours was found crushed inside his building trash compactor. Police say he had been searching for his lost phone at the time of his death.

Hope and Rose, a pair of adorable English Springer siblings, have been trained by their happy-go-lucky owner to "spin for their dinnertime."

The Nation publishes a call for racial and economic diversity in journalism; The Nation's interns respond with a letter to the editor asking for better pay. Zing. Well done, interns. (Step three is going to work for a company that makes more money than The Nation.)

Preteen Boy Holds Up Lemonade Stand with a BB Gun

Police in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, say a 12-year-old boy armed with a BB gun robbed a local lemonade stand being run by a group of younger boys.

Fabulous Fab Liable on Six Counts of Fraud, Goldman Sachs Still Free

After two days of deliberation, a jury found former trader Fabrice "Fabulous Fab" Tourre liable on six out of seven counts of fraud on a mortgage deal that cost investors $1 billion when it collapsed in the midst of the financial crisis.

"I am not a monster," is such a monster thing to say.

Subway Panhandler Pranks Riders with Unexpectedly Uplifting 'Sob Story'

"Excuse me ladies and gentlemen."

Come Inside Sally Quinn's Gold-Walled, Warhol-Filled WASP Heaven

You may remember Washington Post writer Sally Quinn, a human pearl earring, as the woman who uses her column space in one of America's most important newspapers to gossip about the minor turmoils of her own family. What does such riveting work afford the creepy Grande Dame of Washington Society, who is also married to former Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee? Why, an 8,000-square-foot mansion in one of D.C.'s toniest neighborhoods, of course.

How A Paranoid Blogger Made Everyone Scared to Google Pressure Cookers

It is every internet browser's worst nightmare: Google searches and browser history lead the feds to their door. One Long Island woman set off an internet panic attack when she claimed she was visited by anti-terrorism authorities after she searched Google for pressure cookers. But local police have a different, much less sexy explanation.

Woman on First Date Falls to Death From 17th Floor Balcony

Early Thursday morning, a 35-year-old woman on a first date fell to her death from the 17^th floor of her Manhattan apartment building. The woman, an ad executive, was on her balcony having a cigarette when the railing apparently gave way.

The Last and Final Argument Against Crocs

Ariel Castro.

Musician Jack White's ex-wife—not Meg White, the other one—has received a restraining order against the Detroit rock star after alleging that his paranoid harassment in the wake of their divorce has made it so she "fears for her and the children’s safety."

Man Repays $500,000 in Insurance Money With 4 Tons of Quarters

When Roger Herrin learned that a court had ordered him to repay $500,000 he had received in insurance payments for the death of his son, he decided to protest the order in an unusual way: he paid approximately a third of the money back in quarters, which, altogether, weighed nearly four tons.

Florida Education Head Resigns Over Charter School Grade Scandal

Tony Bennett announced his resignation as Florida's education commissioner on Thursday, plagued by a scandal that followed him from his previous position as head of education in Indiana, where he lost his re-election bid last November. Bennett's resignation came three days after he was accused of changing the grade of an Indiana charter school founded by a Republican who had donated over $130,000 to his campaign.

Here's The First Picture of Edward Snowden In Moscow

NSA whistleblower and future Aeroflot Gold Member Edward Snowden was granted temporary asylum yesterday by Russia, which allowed him to leave Moscow's Sheremetyevo airport, where he'd been trapped since June 23rd. Here's what LifeNews calls the first photo of Snowden in Russia, beaming as he heads to a taxi to escape the airport, flanked by Wikileaks representative Sarah Harrison and his Russian lawyer Anatoly Kucherena. If you'd eaten airport food for weeks on end, you'd probably be pretty excited to get out of there, too.

On the Longform Podcast, Janet Reitman talks about her Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Rolling Stone cover story for the first time.

How to Teach Your Kids About Money

The youth of America are plagued by shocking financial illiteracy. Most can't balance a checkbook, much less invest wisely. With our apologies to the Wall Street Journal, we present to you a realistic plan for teaching your kids about money matters.

A Dominican man says he doesn't know how it happened, just that he woke up after a night of heavy drinking without his penis.

Actress Penelope Cruz has made her directorial debut with a five-minute commercial for Agent Provocateur, promoting L'Agent, the lingerie line she designed with her sister Monica, an equal opportunity international smoke show.

The State Department has issued a "world-wide terrorism alert" for travelers after picking up heightened "chatter" that "Al Qaeda and its affiliates are plotting attacks against U.S. interests globally." Bon voyage?

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