Florida Man Stopped For DUI, Says He Was Trying to "Drive It Off"

March 4, 2014, 12:18 pm

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People down here in America's dongle like driving. And drinking. And apparently, driving off the buzz from drinking at home on your way to drinking at the bar.

61-year-old Michael Moore was stopped by cops after midnight last month for speeding 18 miles over the limit on U.S. 1 through Stuart, Florida—where, admittedly, if you don't like to fish, there's not much to do besides drinking.

Via Will Greenlee's always enlightening "Off the Beat" blog:

He told one officer he was coming from home and had "a couple" of drinks. He said he was en route to a bar for "a few" more.

Moore told another officer he got in an argument with his wife and left for a drive.

"He also told me that his wife told him that he (had) been drinking too much so he decided to go out and 'drive it off,'" an arrest affidavit states.

The glazzy-eyed, slurring Moore reportedly blew a .103 and .104 on a field test for blood-alcohol content, weeeeeellll over the state limit. He presumably managed to sleep it off before leaving custody on a $500 bond.

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On the positive side, this means 10 out of 10 Americans think contact with HTML will prevent you fro

March 4, 2014, 12:38 pm

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On the positive side, this means 10 out of 10 Americans think contact with HTML will prevent you from ever getting laid again.

(h/t Romenesko)

Fake Hoverboard Is Obviously Viral Marketing, But What's It Selling?

March 4, 2014, 12:48 pm

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Today a swarm of celebrities came together in a Back to the Future-themed ad campaign for a real-life hoverboard. Just 30 years after the movie that made us fall in love with flying skateboards, they're here! ... Except they're not.

Despite getting the seal of approval from both Christopher "Doc Brown" Lloyd and Tony "Tony Hawk" Hawk, HUVr is obviously a fake-fake-fakity-fake. Because physics.

However, it's a slick, expensive fake, and the star power behind it is real. Along with Lloyd and Hawk, HUVr's got Moby, Terrell Owens, and Billy Zane.

Yep, that's the same Billy Zane who played one of Biff's cronies/bodyguards in Back to the Future and BTTF2. Could that, along with Doc Brown and the Delorean, be a clue to a fourth Future flick?

Or is it just another "game-changing" location-based mobile app? If whoever's behind HUVr gets their way, we won't know until December.

And hey, maybe some MIT physics students with stock-photo-model good looks really did invent hoverboards. It could be hoverboards, right? I want to believe.

Update: One of the "MIT kids" appears to be an actor. Shocking!

I found the actor who plays the lead engineer in the http://t.co/GZpw0uGunR viral, Nelson Cheng: http://t.co/iaywNYT3Nf

— Andy Baio (@waxpancake) March 4, 2014

[H/T: Everyone]

Watch This Moving Tribute Honoring Phillip Seymour Hoffman's Career

March 4, 2014, 12:49 pm

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Though Phillip Seymour Hoffman's life ended far too soon, his work lives on in some of the greatest roles ever played. In P.S. Hoffman, a new and compelling tribute to the actor, Caleb Slain highlights Hoffman's entire body of work, from the magnificent Capote to some of his more forgotten roles (Along Came Polly, anyone?).

Slain describes his long journey making the video:

200 hours of work went into breaking down 47 of Hoffman's films. Compiling his legacy has been one of the most challenging experiences I've ever faced as an editor, and yet indescribably rewarding. I can assure you that after 22 years on screen and nearly fifty films, we now look at the work of an actor who never had a single dishonest moment on camera. I know because I've seen them all. Please take a breather and raise your glasses to one of our greatest.

P.S. Hoffman includes scenes from all of the following:

• 2012 A Late Quartet 

• 2012 The Master 

• 2011 Moneyball
• 
2011 The Ides of March
• 
2010 Jack Goes Boating 

• 2009 The Invention of Lying 

• 2009 Pirate Radio 

• 2009 Mary and Max 

• 2008 Doubt 

• 2008 Synecdoche, New York 

• 2007 Charlie Wilson's War
• 
2007 Before the Devil Knows You're Dead 

• 2007 The Savages 

• 2006 Mission: Impossible III 

• 2005 Capote 

• 2005 Empire Falls (TV Movie) 

• 2004 Along Came Polly 

• 2003 Cold Mountain
• 
2003 Mattress Man Commercial (Video short) 

• 2003 Owning Mahowny
• 
2002 25th Hour 

• 2002 Punch-Drunk Love 

• 2002 Love Liza 

• 2000 Almost Famous 

• 2000 State and Main 

• 1999 The Talented Mr. Ripley 

• 1999 Magnolia 

• 1999 Flawless 

• 1998 Patch Adams 

• 1998 Happiness 

• 1998 The Big Lebowski
• 
1998 Next Stop Wonderland 

• 1998 Montana 

• 1997 Boogie Nights 

• 1996 Twister 

• 1996 Hard Eight 

• 1994 Nobody's Fool 

• 1994 When a Man Loves a Woman 

• 1993 Money for Nothing 

• 1993 My Boyfriend's Back 

• 1992 Scent of a Woman 

• 1992 Leap of Faith 

• 1991 Law & Order

The tribute, while long, is a lovely, sad way to spend a few minutes of your afternoon.

[h/t FilmDrunk]

The D.C.

March 4, 2014, 1:09 pm

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The D.C. Council passed a decriminalization measure today that would reduce the penalty for possessing an ounce of pot to a $25 civil fine. Unless the various federal police agencies feel like busting people under federal law, or Congress uses its colonial-rule powers to throw the whole thing out.

Here's a Sad Clown With a Golden Voice Covering Lorde's "Team"

March 4, 2014, 1:49 pm

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Puddles the Sad Clown is just like teenage pop sensation Lorde, except that he's extremely tall, entirely mute when he's not singing, and is a clown. They do both have golden voices, though.

Puddles, backed by the sensational Scott Bradlee and his band, scored a major YouTube hit with a cover of "Royals," and he apparently didn't want to stop there.

Bradlee writes,

Last week, I got a call from the front desk of my building to inform me that a 7 ft clown was here to see me. Immediately recognizing this to be Puddles, the golden voiced sad clown from our "Royals" cover, I called in the band. Although Puddles doesn't speak, it soon became evident that he wished to cover another Lorde song. So, here's our cover of "Team."

Look, Puddles isn't very pretty, but he sure knows how to run things.

[H/T: VVV]

In other California canine news, officials aren't fooled by the "SERVICE DOG" vest on your labradood

March 4, 2014, 2:03 pm

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In other California canine news, officials aren't fooled by the "SERVICE DOG" vest on your labradoodle.

[Oscar Pistorius hugs his sister inside court at the end of the second day of his trial at the high

March 4, 2014, 2:25 pm

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[Oscar Pistorius hugs his sister inside court at the end of the second day of his trial at the high court in Pretoria, South Africa, on Tuesday. Pistorius is charged with murder for the shooting death of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, on Valentine's Day 2013. Image via Antoine de Ras, Pool/AP.]

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Beyoncé's "Drunk in Love," Translated Into Emoji

March 4, 2014, 2:31 pm

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Someone whose texting game is seriously on point has translated "Drunk in Love" (one of the top 14 songs on the latest album by world's best Beyoncé Beyoncé Knowles) entirely into emoji.

The music video is actually quite thorough and makes a lot of sense, unless you put it on mute. Then it reads like Queen Bey is singing about drinking on airplanes 24/7/11, grabbing your eggplant (?!), and punching you in the face until you scream and start texting a church.

The surfbort part translates, though. Surfbort is still surfbort in emoji.

[H/T: CollegeHumor]

Chanel Built a Fake Supermarket Just to Host This Fashion Show

March 4, 2014, 3:25 pm

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Chanel's autumn/winter 2014 ready-to-wear runway show took place Tuesday morning inside a fake supermarket designed by creative director Karl Lagerfeld at the Grand Palais in Paris.

For many of the models and glamorous guests in attendance, it was the first time they had been inside a supermarket. They were intrigued to discover that grocery shopping takes the basic principle of shopping, as for a blue wool cape or exquisite bag of buttons, and applies it to those perishable goods laid out for grazing at parties, brunch buffets, etc.

Looking at pictures from the show offers a sensation akin to suddenly being able to understand a pack of Lhasa apsos' gossip, discovering they're all doing impressions of you, and then realizing that, even though the Lhasa apsos are obviously playing it up for comedic effect, perhaps you really do say the word "bagel" oddly? Beggle? Baygel? How do other people say it?

The New York Times described the show using words like "sporty," "merry," and "fantastic," all of which are normal ways to describe clothes you saw at the grocery store. The Guardian wrote that a "melee" broke out after the models' final lap as fashion editors scrabbled over the set's meticulously designed Chanel-themed props dressing the giant set (tuna tins marked "Délice de Gabrielle" after Coco's real name; a welcome mat; a "chainsaw" with a silver Chanel handbag chain as the saw).

Nothing to see here except two citizens grocery shopping.

Lagerfeld has a history of high (or, anyway, sprawling)-concept shows. Last October, for the fashion house's spring 2014 runway show, he constructed a giant Chanel-inspired modern art gallery in the same space.

This year, Uncle Drosselmeyer led Clara to the nut aisle.

One woman just wandered in off the street to buy food for her family. She needed one jar of anything, a big green, and one clear. Hello! she waved to all the cheeses.

Viewed from a distance, the set sort of looked like a nightmare about wandering around a grocery store in the Uncanny Valley looking for the checkout counter while a silent audience watches you, and then you go to pull your wallet out of your Chanel bag but it's empty, so you try to reach into your pockets but they're sewn shut, and you turn to Karl Lagerfeld like, "Help me out, man" and he's a neighbor whose name escapes you.

After the runway show, attendee Rihanna had fun pretending she was in a grocery store. So chic and bright. A warehouse repository for colors. We should have them everywhere.

[Images via Getty]

This supercut of Rob Ford's awkward giggles on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night is awkward, giggly, and

March 4, 2014, 3:32 pm

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This supercut of Rob Ford's awkward giggles on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night is awkward, giggly, and terrifying!

Rare Coins Worth Millions of Dollars Were Probably Stolen

March 4, 2014, 4:45 pm

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A northern California couple who found $10 million in rare coins buried in their backyard may not get to see any of that money—there's evidence the coins were stolen during a turn-of-the-century heist, which would mean they belong to the government.

After their discovery, the couple turned the coins over to a dealer in an effort to keep modern-day prospectors off their property. Experts estimate the coins, with a face value of $27,000, could fetch as much as $10 million today.

But now as evidence mounts that the coins were part of a 1900 haul, it looks like the government may be the ultimate winner.

Many of the coins, which were found in mint condition, were unused and in chronological order.

And according to a newspaper article discovered by coin collector and fishing guide Jack Trout in the Haithi Trust Digital Library, the haul matches the time and amount stolen from the San Francisco Mint in 1900.

Finally, one of the found coins — an 1866 Liberty $20 gold coin without the words "In God We Trust," matches one of the stolen coins:

"This was someone's private coin, created by the mint manager or someone with access to the inner workings of the Old Granite Lady (San Francisco Mint)," Trout said. "It was likely created in revenge for the assassination of Lincoln the previous year (April 14, 1865). I don't believe that coin ever left The Mint until the robbery. For it to show up as part of the treasure find links it directly to that inside job at the turn of the century at the San Francisco Mint."

Update: The U.S. Mint clarified today they would not go after the coins because, "We do not have any information linking the Saddle Ridge Hoard coins to any thefts at any United States Mint facility."

[image via AP]

​John Travolta Is "Beating Himself Up" Over Oscar Blunder

March 4, 2014, 4:30 pm

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John Travolta became the laughingstock of the world Sunday evening at the Oscars when he debuted his latest—and increasingly unfortunate—hair. Then he mispronounced Idina Menzel's name, which must have also been embarrassing. But he's only apologizing for one of those two offenses.

On Tuesday, Travolta released a written statement through his publicist about the Adele Dazeem fiasco:

"I've been beating myself up all day. Then I thought…what would Idina Menzel say, She'd say, 'Let it go, let it go!' Idina is incredibly talented and I am so happy Frozen took home two Oscars Sunday night!"

Actually, Menzel probably wouldn't say "Let it go!" because she's too busy getting lots of great press thanks to the error. Travolta might be surprised to know his fumbling has probably pleased her, a woman, so much.

Poor, poor Jorn.

[Image via AP]

A US Postal Truck Exploded and Burned Hundreds of Thousands of Letters

March 4, 2014, 5:47 pm

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Email may be impersonal, email may be unromantic, but at least email isn't flammable. Unfortunately for hundreds of thousands of Orange County letter-writers, paper is.

A fiery freeway crash this morning incinerated approximately 120,000 pieces of mail, shutting down northbound lanes on the 57 for hours. The only injuries appear to be to the 49-cent-minimum missives: the USPS said all the mail on the Ontario-bound truck was destroyed.

According to the OC Register, the Postal truck driver, a private contractor, rear-ended another semi truck on the highway around 1:30 this morning, sparking the fire. Witnesses told CBS the truck seemed to explode. Highway patrol say they're still investigating the cause of the accident.

A Postal Service spokesman said non-local letters mailed from Orange Country zip codes that start with 926, 927, 928, 906, 917 and 918 could be affected.

[Screengrab via CBS LA]

These Are the Happiest Cops in Law Enforcement

March 4, 2014, 6:58 pm

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Is it just Mardi Gras or are all New Orleans cops this cool?

Update: As a commenter points out, Detective Winston Harbin appears to be a serial dancer. He told the Times-Picayune, "I was raised in the 9th Ward and learned to dance at all the Halloween parties."

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Unilever Surprised That New Jersey Doesn't Like Being Called an Armpit

March 4, 2014, 8:30 pm

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Unilever, the parent company of Dove soap was surprised to learn this week that New Jersey residents don't like references to their state's role as the armpit of America.

The company had planned to launch a Dove deodorant billboard featuring a smiling woman with her arm behind her head and the text:

Dear New Jersey, When people call you 'The Armpit of America,' take it as a compliment. Sincerely, Dove.

Whether the company ever intended for the billboard to actually go up or just wanted the online buzz is unclear — after some threatened boycotts on Facebook, Unilever, which is headquartered in New Jersey, now says they'll donate the space to charity.

"Thank you for your comments. With our 'Dear New Jersey' advertisement, Dove deodorant never intended to upset the residents of the state. As a result of your feedback, Dove deodorant will not be moving forward with publishing or displaying this ad."

[image via AP]

Deadspin What It Was Like Being The Only Virgin On Magic's Hypersexed Lakers | io9 When scientists b

March 5, 2014, 4:22 am

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Deadspin What It Was Like Being The Only Virgin On Magic's Hypersexed Lakers | io9 When scientists believed there was a little man inside every sperm cell | Jalopnik Russia Just Test-Fired An Intercontinental Ballistic Missile | Lifehacker When to Buy Your Plane Ticket, Based on Data from Four Million Trips

Russia and US Prep for Ukraine Talks, EU Pledges $15 Billion in Aid

March 5, 2014, 4:43 am

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Just hours ahead of his scheduled meeting in Paris with Secretary of State John Kerry, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov repeated Russia's widely mocked claim that the pro-Russian "self-defense" forces who have seized Crimea are not under Russian command.

"If you mean the self-defense units created by the inhabitants of Crimea, we give them no orders, they take no orders from us," Lavrov said, according to Reuters. "As for the military personnel of the (Russian) Black Sea Fleet, they are in their deployment sites. Yes, additional vigilance measures were taken to safeguard the sites... We will do everything not to allow any bloodshed."

Later today, Lavrov will meet in Paris with Kerry, along with French President Francois Hollande and the foreign minsters from Germany, Britain and France. Russian and NATO will similar discussions in Brussels. From Reuters:

The West is pushing for Russia to return troops to barracks, accept international monitors in Crimea and Ukraine and negotiate a solution to the crisis through a "contact group" probably under the auspices of a pan-European security body.

France said European Union leaders meeting in Brussels on Thursday could decide on sanctions against Russia if there is no "de-escalation" by then. Other EU countries, including Germany, are more reticent about sanctions.

"If we cannot make progress on that course there will be costs and consequences," UK Foreign Secretary William Hague told the BBC. "It will be a test this afternoon of whether Russia is prepared to sit down with Ukraine."

Meanwhile, the European Union is set to offer Ukraine a aid package that could be worth as much as $15 billion over the next two years. From the New York Times:

José Manuel Barroso, the president of the European Commission, the union's executive arm, said Wednesday that the offer includes 1.6 billion euros, or about $2.2 billion, in loans and €1.4 billion euros in grants from the union, as well as €3 billion in fresh credit from the European Investment Bank.

The aid will buttress the $1 billion in loan guarantees that Secretary of State John Kerry pledged to Ukraine while visiting Kiev on Tuesday. The economic lifeline is expected to help Ukraine's embattled interim government amid spiraling debts and the threat of rising Russian gas prices. The funds will also help cushion the blow as the International Monetary Fund is expected to demand tough austerity measures as a condition of its own expected aid package.

Ukraine's interim government has said it will need at least $35 billion in assistance over the next two years.

[Image via AP]

Lindsay Lohan Seems Like a Mess in Reality Show About Her Sobriety

March 5, 2014, 6:11 am

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Every now and then, Lindsay Lohan falls apart, and this time the Oprah Winfrey Network's cameras were there to catch it. Lohan's reality show, Lindsay, debuts on OWN on Sunday, and via this extended first look, seems to include all the chaos that Lindsay wanted us to believe she was through with (a fight with dad, awkward and suffocating hugs from mom, lateness, flaking, a possible breach of her sobriety, etc.).

Almost half of this trailer is taken up by footage of Oprah hearing about Lindsay's bad behavior and then confronting Lindsay. "You need to cut the shit," says Oprah in the role of Captain Savealo. Fuck-up Lindsay is Rescuer Oprah's perfect foil. That always seemed to be what this show was really about, and this trailer seems to confirm it.

"Frozen In a Niche?"

March 5, 2014, 6:28 am

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"Frozen In a Niche?" is the headline of today's Maureen Dowd column, as well as the headline of Maureen Dowd's career .