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Diaper-Changing Dad Mad at Chipotle for Saying No to Shit on Tables

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Diaper-Changing Dad Mad at Chipotle for Saying No to Shit on Tables

A family dining at a Midwest Chipotle location discovered that the restaurant's bathrooms didn't come equipped with baby-changing tables, so they decided to swap out their 1-year-old's soiled diaper right there on the dining room table. After a manager asked them to take it to their car instead, the father sent the restaurant a letter of complaint.

Chad, the dad in this incident, admitted in his letter that changing a diaper in a place where people eat is "unsavory," but he still feels the Chipotle staff showed an "inability/unwillingness to empathize with parents who find [the car] a less convenient alternative even on a beautiful day like yesterday, much less a subfreezing day as we undoubtedly will have in [this region] this winter."

Typical Chad.

He went on to say that the employees' horrified reaction toward a dirty diaper on a table—where, again, human beings typically consume food—tipped him off that they must not have kids of their own. If they don't install changing tables, he says, he'll be taking his business (and his baby's business, obviously) to Qdoba. Hard to say which fast-food Mexican chain he's actually threatening with that one.

While we can probably agree as a society that we shouldn't use the same tables for urine and feces that we use for half-chicken-half-pork burrito bowls with guac (it's extra, is that okay?), Chad does have a point about the importance of changing tables in family-friendly restaurants.

Chipotle told Consumerist it typically doesn't have the tables in its restrooms, but is currently installing them in locations that see significant family traffic.

Meanwhile, a rep for the company sent this rather reasonable response to the complaining father:

I can completely understand that it's a hassle to find a way to change your daughter, and agree, that there are simply no alternatives as convenient as an actual changing table. We are currently in the process of retrofitting locations with changing tables, but I understand that this is not a very timely solution. ... As you can understand it might be disconcerting for other customers to see a child getting changed directly on the tables, and we want to provide all of our customers with an exceptional experience.

According to Consumerist, Chad responded by asking for a specific date when tables would reach the location where DiaperGate took place. The company couldn't give him an answer.

So congratulations/condolences to Qdoba on gaining a loyal new customer.

[h/t Eater, Photo: Babies In Food Costumes]


Radio Host: Amber Rose Caught Wiz Khalifa Having Threesome With Twins

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When Amber Rose filed for divorce from Wiz Khalifa, it was immediately chalked up to infidelity—unnamed women for him, and Nick Cannon (why?) for her. The details were vague until this morning, when radio host Peter Rosenberg said on the air that Amber walked in on Wiz having a threesome with twins.

Before revealing the incident that he thinks broke the couple up, Rosenberg says that he and his wife are good friends with Rose. He notes that Rose was recently "talking all night to [Rosenberg's wife] about her problems," which, when you hear him say it, comes off as very namedrop-y, but at least establishes his credibility on the subject.

At 3:39 in the video he gets to the meat of it:

Amber walked in on him with two women, same time, twins, twin sisters, biological sisters.

Rosenberg goes onto say that Rose walked in on Wiz in a home of his, and that contrary to reports, the two had not unofficially ended their marriage before Wiz admitted to cheating on her. Further, Rosenberg implies that Wiz's camp has planted two of those stories—that Rose was sleeping with Nick Cannon, and that they were already broken up when he cheated—in the press.

The video, posted by Rosenberg's employer Hot 97, also shows an Instagram photo—since deleted—of the twins that Rosenberg alleges Wiz was caught hooking up with:

Radio Host: Amber Rose Caught Wiz Khalifa Having Threesome With Twins

Wiz, for his part, seems to be doing okay.

YouTube Community Scrambles to Address Its Creep Problem

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YouTube Community Scrambles to Address Its Creep Problem

Last week, popular YouTube prankster Sam Pepper was justifiably raked over the coals over a video that depicted him forcibly grabbing women's butts and laughing at it like a stoned child after a dental appointment. Days later, news reports raised some serious allegations against Pepper: that he also sexually abused women when cameras weren't rolling, and that he'd been doing so for years.

Pepper is far from the first male YouTube star to exploit his web fame in the pursuit of sex with their adoring fans. Along with a meteoric rise in the popularity of YouTube talking heads has come a disturbing rise in the number of those vlogging heads who use their position to coerce underage girls into sexual relationships, and a corresponding rise in the the number of other prominent YouTubers who have turned a deaf ear to allegations of abuse.

Meet the YouTube Creep: a thirsty male ally in his twenties who presents himself as a kind, caring soul. A friend. A confidant who really gets it. A shoulder to cry on. A wise older mentor. A person who would never in a million years commit statutory rape, because he's not like that.

Except, you know, sometimes he is. One YouTube community watchdog has compiled a master list of famously predatory YouTube personalities with a dizzying number of corroborating links. Have you heard the one about Tom Milsom, a twentysomething musician who allegedly carried on an coercive sexual relationship with a 15-year-old fan he'd take with him to conventions? How about Ed Blann (edplant), who publicly admitted to having an 8-month-long abusive relationship with a fan? Danny Hooper, another popular YouTuber, is also alleged to have bullied underage girls into sex. Outspoken and self-proclaimed 24-year-old feminist ally Josh Macedo allegedly sent photos of himself masturbating to a 15-year-old female fan. Nerd hero YouTube musician (and former associate of Fault in our Stars author John Green and his brother Hank) Mike Lombardo pressured underage fans into sending him explicit photographs of themselves, and is currently serving a 5-year prison sentence on associated child pornography charges. YouTube musician Alex Day was dropped from Hank and John Green's record label earlier this year when several vloggers accused him of creepy, coercive relationships with underage fans. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

The YouTube community, a space for oddballs and outcasts who choose to embrace their quirks and package it as entertainment for other quirky oddballs and outcasts, has begun to mirror the very social dynamics its users are rushing to escape. Now, instead of the trope of the popular jock victimizing his bookish tutor and trusting that her low self-esteem and his high social status will keep her from tattling, victimizers are the nonthreatening non-jocks and drama club geeks in their twenties teens are conditioned to believe are "safe." Gentle boys next door who wouldn't hurt a fly are given a massive dose of fame and cannot help but exhibit the same behavior as the rock stars, athletes, and actors whose behavior they built a reputation decrying. This corner of YouTube is becoming what it hates.

YouTube's evolution from brave nerd outpost to creep hive mirrors that of other outsider communities. A month ago, Sophia Katz wrote an article on Medium about her friendship with a prominent literary figure that began with friendly correspondence, proceeded to him offering his apartment as a place to crash while she visited New York, and culminated with sexual assault. This week, the subject of that piece was outed as Pop Serial editor and alt-lit darling Stephen Tully Dierks. Dierks's doxxer, a former roommate, confessed that when she first read Katz's story, she knew that the perpetrator was Dierks, but that she was too afraid to "start a war" with him to stand up until now.

Slang changes, technology changes, fashion changes, but thirsty male ally creeps are forever.

Unlike other recent controversies in the vlogging community, this time around, popular YouTubers were quick to register their disgust with Sam Pepper's conduct. High-profile community members like Laci Green, Grace Helbig, John Green, Francesca Ramsey, Wil Wheaton, and pretty much everyone else the #teens love signed an open letter condemning Pepper and asking him to knock it off:

We are deeply disturbed by this trend and would like to ask you, from one creator to another, to please stop. Please stop violating women and making them uncomfortable on the street for views. Please stop physically restraining them and pressuring them to be sexual when they are uncomfortable. Please show some respect for women's right to their own bodies. While it may seem like harmless fun, a simple prank, or a "social experiment", these videos encourage millions of young men and women to see this violation as a normal way to interact with women. 1 in 6 young women (real life ones, just like the ones in your video) are sexually assaulted, and sadly, videos like these will only further increase those numbers.

Laci Green, a popular sex vlogger, tells Jezebel that while she's heartened by the resounding and unified response to the latest in a long series of YouTube creep scandals, in the past, it's been an uphill battle to get people to speak up. That a famous adult man would engage in a relationship with a fan in her mid-teens is accepted as "part of the culture," rather than challenged as a damaging and fucked up rite of passage sprung on girls who don't know what they're getting themselves into.

There's a lot of pressure to "maintain your brand" and these are tough conversations to have. Add that to the fact that we all know and work with these people - and it's a tough time. Of course the silence makes things worse. The quiet creators often reach the demographic most likely to confronted with inappropriate or compromising situations. I don't think that those who don't speak out are *bad people*, but I do wish they had more courage and realized how powerful their voices are to make change.

Sadly, much of the top-tier UK YouTube community (where the majority of YouTube abuse has surfaced) has said next to nothing [about Sam Pepper], likely for all the aforementioned reasons.

Laci is optimistic that the community in which she's found a home has the tools necessary to enact positive change from within, and that conferences and meetups can feel safe for its teenage fans again. "I want to know that young women can come together and have a wonderful time at these events without worrying that a predatory creator is going to make them feel special and then violate them because they know they'll get away with it," she says. "I want it to be known that they absolutely will not get away with it."

Images via YouTube.

Steve Carrell's Terrifying Performance in Foxcatcher: NYFF Dispatch One

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Steve Carrell's Terrifying Performance in Foxcatcher: NYFF Dispatch One

As they did for the Toronto Film Festival, film writers Fariha Roísín and Sara Black McCulloch are covering the New York Film Festival this year as a series of conversations about the festival and its programming. The first dispatch includes Foxcatcher, starring Channing Tatum, Mark Ruffalo, and Steve Carrell in a dramatic role.

Fariha: Hello people of Gawker, Sara and I are back this time around to bring you four dispatches during the New York Film Festival. We're very excited! Today, we're focusing only on one film because there's a lot we'd like to discuss about it—and frankly, there's a lot to unpack. The film is Foxcatcher, Bennett Miller's latest based on a true story, starring Channing Tatum and Mark Ruffalo as Mark and Dave Schultz (two Olympic Gold Medalists) and Steve Carrell as John du Pont.

Inevitably, I feel like Foxcatcher is going to be a huge contender in the Oscar race—Carrell for sure will be nominated for Best Actor, so I'm happy that we're getting a chance to talk about this so we can discuss the complexities of the story.

On a personal note, this movie has haunted me since I watched it. I know that we want to discuss many aspects of it, but primarily, we wanted to focus on the toxic masculinity that is inherent in every shot of Foxcatcher. Whilst watching it—I always felt on guard, always ready for anything. The tension was so palpable between all the main characters, and all of it was crafted in a very organic way. In my opinion, Miller was able to capture a really terrifying part of mankind with honesty. As opposed to something that felt very manipulative, like say Hungry Hearts, this movie felt natural in its depictions. Both Mark and John felt like outliers that could spontaneously combust at any moment and you're not sure who's the villain, even if you kind of know the story going in, or whatever—so, Miller acutely created a balance of suspicion, which made my experience of this film very compelling.

(Also, there are going to be spoilers, so stop reading if you don't want to know what happens!)

Sara: Their (Mark and John's) relationship is so unhealthy and this isn't a typical mentor-mentee one, but much more sinister and twisted. I also found that the relationship between the Schultz brothers was about a lot more than just sibling rivalry—that energy seems to spark them during their practices with each other. It's more of a power struggle, but even this is too reductive. It's complicated. At times it feels like a father-son dynamic—they rely on each other in different ways. But then Dave seems to be much more in charge and assertive—he has a family, he has roots, while Mark has this daily routine of practice in the morning and microwavable noodles in the evening.

The thing I found particularly interesting was how this film, which is ultimately about wrestling, doesn't have that many scenes devoted to the sport—the more we get to know these characters, the less we see actual wrestling. This decline also coincides with Mark's loss of focus as he gets closer to du Pont. Although, I liked seeing Channing Tatum play up his acting more than his physicality in a film.

I kept thinking about Charles Atlas throughout this film. Atlas was this spokesperson for manliness and a symbol of strength. His ads appeared in comic books and boys could order his exercise tips. Catchphrases from the ads were things like "Hey, Skinny! Yer Ribs are Showing!" They all centered around making so-called "puny boys" feel like they could buy into a new life just by bulking up. John du Pont was like one of these little boys who bought a Charles Atlas (Mark Schultz; Dave Schultz later) for himself. Did you feel like John du Pont was really good at performing power? Those motivational talks were filled with typical, American Dream-like catch phrases (Work hard and you can achieve anything you wish, etc. etc.) I found that he was so good at selling false hopes.

Fariha: Everything you brought up is so important. We can move into the character dynamics later, but John Du Pont was this terrifying machine of a man. Carrell characterized him so well because everytime he was on screen, the sheer physicality of him—which wasn't really masculine but more an uncomfortability—the hunched up back, the hollow ass—seemed distorted and destructive. He seemed in pain in his very stance. The most heinous part of his character was that he had this very definite idea of what it meant to be masculine, and he found Mark (and Dave, to a lesser extent) as an embodiment of that, and that's why he was drawn to him. He wanted to both be him and recruit and control him. Maybe there was hope of vicarious strength; that by training Mark to win the World Championships, it'd be his success also. Which seems natural, but is so sinister in the case for du Pont, because you see his desire for power. Mark and John don't have a traditional mentor/mentee relationship, as you said, and because you see that both of these humans are so lacking in love, and stability within themselves—somebody is going to get hurt. Which also adds to the ongoing tension throughout the film.

In du Pont's talk to Mark when he first comes to Foxcatcher Farm (about war, and Americanism and the future of mankind) it was said in this brutish, dangerous manner—he used so many war motifs—and it was scary to see this frail person talk about brutality and leadership. I don't think du Pont is good at performing power. I think that he's a caricature of a human, like so many of these men are, and so he has this whole spiel. His whole speech comes from a point of privilege—the du Ponts are one of the most richest families in America—and thereby from entitlement, and thus a naturally a skewed vision of a country, and its men. It was sad in these moments because you could see how far he was pushing himself to be harder and more aligned with all of these ideals that he's probably been fed since birth. I was always waiting for him to pull his mask off and show his vulnerabilities, but someone like du Pont, it's clear, won't let anyone in close enough to see what's underneath it all. And that was terrifying, just terrifying.

I kept thinking about Elliot Rodger, and how there are so many similarities between some psycho-murderer who's angered that the world is not providing him with all the things he thinks he deserves—which is white male privilege 101—to someone like du Pont who will manipulate through money and power to get what he wants, but the reason he'll do that is because he thinks that life was made for him. Society doesn't give room for men to be fragile, so they lash out whenever they get the chance. If du Pont, at some point in his life, was told by someone that he trusted, that he could be who he was—and that's fine—that he didn't have to be faux masculine and have muscles or be a patriot, maybe he wouldn't have become such a cruel, broken, human being. If we didn't socialize men with such a lack of complexity, male violence wouldn't be so inordinate and common. du Pont seemed suffocated by life, but it's only devastating for the people who are victim to his, and every other angry dude's, wrath.

Sara: I also think that the thing driving/hurting du Pont the most is that he comes from this long line of men who accomplished so much. He was born into a legacy which he could never really live up to and what makes this even more terrifying is that deep down, we know he will do anything to prove himself worthy. That's what makes the scene of Dave Schultz's murder even more uncomfortable to watch: in order for du Pont to win over him—as a symbol of masculinity—he has to catch Schultz off guard, when Schultz is defenseless and at a disadvantage. And he keeps shooting him because, in his mind, he's winning. He's succeeding. It's this unfair advantage that deludes him.

The other person in du Pont's life who, although we didn't see much of her, did haunt du Pont, was his mother, Jean Austin du Pont (played by Vanessa Redgrave). Bennett Miller was quoted as saying that this story had, he believed, at its centre "a formidable woman, from a horribly impressive lineage...whose gaze can castrate." The context of this was why he chose Redgrave, but Jean's gazes and her expectations are what ultimately set some sort of success barometer for John. He's always trying to impress her and upstage his ancestors. Her presence is always felt—was this what we were feeling the entire time? Her authority? Her high expectations—expectations that could never be met? We barely see Redgrave, but we feel her. When she drops by to check out John's wrestling team, John immediately huddles the group in and delivers this fake speech that doesn't even make sense in the context of wrestling or elite training. He really hams it up for her.

Ultimately, the people who suffer the most are the people with the most to lose. So while, to John, life is this sort a game or a delusion or some way of impressing people—the Schultz family pays the ultimate price. I mean, a man ultimately loses his life because of male chauvinism and privilege. I was much more terrified of John pulling off the mask, because, there wasn't really anything there. His self-definition and self-image were entirely based on other people's opinions/reception of him. I keep thinking about the scene, when, after his mother dies, he releases her show horses. I mean, now he's in charge, so to speak, but how do you think he handles this power? Is it even power—didn't he just...inherit it? I can't decide if deep down, he knows this.

Fariha: The bit about Jean kind of made me feel uncomfortable. Even though I did feel her omnipresence, everything in my experience of watching the film was detached from it, and from her. Obviously she had control over the house and was trying to keep up this leveled austerity—that I think a lot of rich people do—but at no point did I want, nor feel, the film to be about her power. For me it wasn't about that. So, when Miller said that in the press conference, I felt a bit strange about the whole thing, because ultimately this is a story about a man who makes a choice—and very rarely do we talk about men and their choices.

Violent white men are always given a retribution by history (except mass murderers, and thank God we don't give them a pass, Jesus)—that's why I take the fact that he's a purported "paranoid schizophrenic" with a grain of salt. We are always willing to give white sociopaths the defence—when people are like: oh he was actually a super nice person. It's like, "Oh, cool, why did he murder a human being in cold blood though?" It's so obnoxious, and unfair because nobody else gets this. We don't even know half of the names of people in Guantanamo but we have all these films about white men and their angst that aims to "humanize" their actions.

I remember watching a documentary about Jeffrey Dahmer. He, himself, was interviewed for large parts of it, and at one point he mentioned that his mother (specifically) was brought into question—like if she was a better mother maybe he wouldn't have been a serial killer that killed, castrated, and ate seventeen young (mainly black) men. It's ludicrous. We always want to put these actions onto something else, and if its a woman and her bad parenting—then all the better! But what he said in the interview was really striking. He adamantly said that this was his choice, and he made them—no one forced him into killing these men. That it had nothing to do with the way that he was brought up, or his life circumstances. He had an urge, and he followed it. So I'm so apprehensive about even mentioning Jean, because sure—Miller, might think that may have triggered something in John. I mean he was obviously weakened by his mother's power over him, and that's hard for anybody, but it doesn't, nor should it, ever be something that is seen as a catalyst. You know? I mean, I like the film outside of that reading—what do you think, Sara?

Sara: I want to make it clear that I don't think his mother is in anyway to blame and I don't actually think Miller believes that either, at least, not by the way she is depicted in this film. I think her omnipresence is more symbolic—she represents this institution, even this idea of exceptionalism—a word du Pont keeps repeating himself. We should get into that a little later because she is only one of two women in this film and they are more, to me, symbols, than they are people. The thing with all films is that, I find, you need to see them two, three times before you can pinpoint exactly what is going on, but I think she represents more how du Pont views the world and people—what he is owed; his delusions of grandeur. This story is also not focused on what led du Pont to kill Schultz—the emphasis of this film is the relationship that was destroyed by him—how his actions were destructive and ruined real people. And I think it's more about how du Pont, as a symbol of white male privilege, justifies his destructive actions to himself and how they're almost parodied. Whenever he does perform power—makes a speech or a documentary about himself—it looks absolutely ridiculous.

Although, that being said, Miller is always very subtle. What made me feel queasy was that, in terms of representing du Pont's violence, Miller played up this angle of "you want what money can't buy" a little too much to the point where that actually felt like a justification for his violent choices. It felt at times like I was being fed this motif of the rich, isolated white man who doesn't understand human beings and relationships and instead doesn't treat people like humans, but like things. This, I found, was the excuse masked as "insight into a monster." I say this because so many scenes centre around Mark and Dave, and their affection towards each other: foreheads touching and whispering words of encouragement to each other. And du Pont is always there, observing this connection—that's what made me feel so uneasy. The omnipresence of the mother was something different, but also unsettling.

Initially, when du Pont asks Mark, not Dave, up to the ranch, that's a power move because Mark is lucky to be plucked out of obscurity and given an opportunity. But when du Pont brings Dave and his family up, that's a move meant to drive a rift between the brothers. And I found that the weight of his jealousy was used as a justification for his violent actions. I think the relationship with his mother is more about upholding a legacy and being exceptional, but that's not what ultimately drives du Pont to kill because even if he doesn't measure up, he can buy power. He has purchasing power. What Miller seems to be arguing is that du Pont wants what he can't buy, which still doesn't justify violence. He wants to feel accepted by men and when he doesn't get his way, he gets in his car and tells Dave "You don't like me," and then pulls out a gun and shoots—that is what makes this so much more horrifying, senseless, and disgusting. This is how he views the world and that this is how he deals with real life. It's still, as you say, a way to justify violent men, but I think in this case, it has little to do with Jean. I think there's something different and interesting going on there.

Fariha: I think you're right, maybe her omnipresence was an aim to bring nuance into the story—and you're definitely right about Miller, I think his take on du Pont and this story is subversive, as opposed to just perpetuating the norm of these kinds of narratives. The fact that du Pont does always look out of place—either his suit is too big, or his pants are too baggy, or he's this small man weaponized in a sea of bulky, athletic men—his presence is so incongruent. So maybe it's also a story largely about acceptance, maybe Miller is saying that real masculinity is about a need for diversity of male practice.

That scene where he's competing at a tournament and his white chalky, sweaty body is so awfully candid—and when he wins this paltry competition he's gloating, he's on top of the world—it's so absurd to me that he's so deluded, but also its so interesting to have this insight because of how far his desperation takes him. I mean, at certain points of this film I felt like when I was watching Scorsese's "Wolf Of Wall Street," I understand that it's not a glorification of this evil, and ultimately we know that both Jordan Belfort and John du Pont don't succeed in their missions of power, but to me, I can't stop questioning: why do we have to keep making films that show these destructive men in the first place? It's as if sometimes these filmmakers are trying to ascertain the banality of evil (as Hannah Arendt so wonderfully articulated) that they overlook other complex stories that are as equally interesting. Why another film about greed? It's not that audacious—white men want money and power, and yes they will do whatever they can to get it, i.e kill.

Absolute power corrupts, absolutely, and I find that so many films these days are just an enumeration of how to prove this aphorism to be true. So, even though I think Miller did a good job with this story, I did feel that frustration of, well what next? Besides, we know how it ends. You knew how it was going to end from the first bleak shot.

I think, personally, my favorite person was Dave Schultz, because he was such a juxtaposition to Dave and John's insecurities. I think its very telling that he's the one that's always affectionate—either with his wife, or kids, or even with Mark. He's friendly, he's personable, he's the antithesis of the male villain. So his death is so much emblematic of the desire to destroy men that don't fit the mould. It's arguable that his character traits are more "feminine" (I hate this, and I don't agree with this idea—but I do think societally we consider "kindness" and "affection" more female attributes, which is where all these issues stem from, a disengagement with the fluidity of gender, and a desire to create a more gender normative society when we're not) and so to kill him, I think, is a squashing of the feminine. I wasn't at all surprised that Dave Schultz was the one that died, it was a powerplay as you so succinctly pointed out, but also why was it a powerplay? Because, du Pont needed to destroy something that he considered weaker than him, even if we both know Dave wasn't. And it's a testament—as you also pointed out—that he killed him only when he was defenceless. Toxic masculinity is always weakness masked with guns and weapons that are used as a facade. Underneath, always lies an embittered and pathetic person who's refusing to mature and face the world. du Pont hides behind a veneer of strength, because thats his one and only defence.

So, I guess I want to steer the conversation (if only for a little bit) to ask what you think is the point of this film, is there a point, even? Should there be a point? If we characterize male violence as it so often is—like, whoops,sorry, that's just another part of maleness—then how do we move forward as a society?

Sara: Good question. Here's what I think Miller was trying to ask and answer: Is there such a thing as luck? The answer is yes, but this goes against North American notions of "hard work pays off." A better, more interesting question would have been: If you could choose (or have your characters choose) between hard work and luck, what would you (or they) choose? Either way, I keep thinking about what Fran Lebowitz said about luck and gender—"Gender is a very big piece of luck. Here's what a big piece of luck it is: Any white, Gentile, straight man who isn't the President of the United States failed."

So luck. There is the eccentric millionaire who was just born into one of the wealthiest families. We have a wrestler who is struggling and then gets this random call and a good opportunity—a new way life and some kind of luck. But Miller also seems to want to show us what he deems the pitfalls of luck—excess and laziness. Mark stops training and working out. Mark binges after his first trial goes poorly. His brother is supposed to represent the antithesis of the good luck theory—that hard work always pays off. It's Dave who makes Mark throw up the hotel meals and candy bars so that Mark can lose weight in time for the weigh-in. He makes Mark bike with layers of sweats on so he can burn that excess weight off. Dave is the one who cleans up the mess. When John du Pont tries to interrupt this session, it's Dave who tells John to get out. There's this struggle—and it's so weird saying this, because these were real people—between two ideals. So we have one idea overpowering the other—it's still a power struggle. It's a battle over ideology that still ties in to the central tenets of America. I, too, would have rathered a nuanced discussion on gender because wrestling is a sport that not so many men participate in and it doesn't get great coverage like other sporting events. I mean, even though the Schultz brothers won Olympic medals—there's no endorsement payoff in it.

We've seen these films about the pitfalls of money, fame, power. We have these innocent, Adamic figures who are supposed to be trusting, good and naive, but are screwed over in some way. Or, we get the power-hungry Alpha males who will do whatever it takes to succeed only to watch them fall from grace because they're playing god. Did we get a different message in Foxcatcher? No, you're right. We got the same story. The same types of questions. The same answers.

I think this film avoided answering a question that a lot of people—especially successful people—are unwilling to discuss and that's natural-born advantages. Intelligence is luck. Conventional good looks—luck. White skin—luck. Gender—luck. Wealth and status—also luck. Etc. Etc. And I think, we aren't going to really move on until more people at least, begin to acknowledge this. This factors into so many discussions and yet so many people avoid talking about it. So, what do I think about the guy who represents all this privilege shooting this man who represents the opposite—I can't decide if it's a statement on how bad ideals prevail, thus discrediting this idea of luck. However, you brought up a great point: the violence du Pont enacts is sort of make-believe superiority because he has the advantage and he's therefore masking his own inferiority. Maybe I'm reading into it too much?

Fariha: I think that's it. Not only does du Pont mask his inferiorities through money and class advantages, and of course—his whiteness, but he can also have a movie made about him that tries to engage with why, when they answer is just straight up: privilege. That's all. Miller is probably drawn to the idea of power because it's fascinating to see how people are so corrupted by it so easily. Legacy is desired, but its so ephemeral—and maybe in a roundabout way Miller is pointing out the fleeting appeal of class and societal privilege, because ultimately John du Pont died in jail. And Jordan Belfort lost everything. Jeffrey Dahmer was beaten to death. Power is illusory.

Sara: Now that you've brought up the class and societal privilege, I really wanted to discuss the only two women in this film. We have Dave's wife, Nancy, and then we have Jean.

I'm starting to wonder if Jean represents this idea of luck and privilege. I'm thinking back to that scene I mentioned: when she dies, John frees all her prized, well-bred horses. We know that she was a leading breeder of horses. The value system of these horses is based entirely on eugenics—certain traits and genes are valued over others—like the value placed on thoroughbreds. So here we have an example of genetic advantages—or once referred to as pedigree—that allows a small pool of horses to be valued more than the rest. And I wonder if Jean's omnipresence is that tradition she symbolizes and upholds: that natural advantage of being born into the right family and socioeconomic status. John keeps giving these speeches about achieving, being exceptional, and training. John keeps spewing these ideas of earning things. But then both he and his mother keep talking about medals—these extrinsic rewards—and about how to display them. When John is talking about putting his wrestling trophy in one of the main cases, their debate centers around whether his achievement was worthy, not whether he worked hard for the reward, or what he had to do to win it (as you mentioned, it was not really much of a competition to boast about). It's all about the reward, status, and praise.

As for Nancy, we don't get much of her and when we do, it's when Dave is being shot. I remember that scene where instead of bowing down to John, she just says a casual "Hello," and goes back to her kids. She doesn't get up to greet him, she stays with her children. Mark even gets mad at her for this. I think with Nancy, it's that she doesn't care for titles or status—she's more in line with Dave in terms of family values. What did you think, Fariha?

Fariha: I mean, unfortunately the two females here are not really fleshed out as characters. Which is unfortunate, as their significance is definite. We talked about Jean and her power, but you brought up a good point about Nancy. She could have had much more of an impact on this storyline because of her disinterest with the accepted state of being. Which is ultimately why Mark gets so angry at her when she doesn't get up for du Pont—he understands that he's entered this world of social propriety, and hierarchy—and that he's ultimately there to serve du Pont. Nancy's lack of awareness, or rather disinterest, is so evident and it could have been really interesting to explore it—especially because of her inevitable impact on du Pont—given the denouement where he goes to their house to shoot Dave. It could have been much more affecting if Miller was able to explain that du Pont's residual anger stemmed from Dave and Nancy's disinterest in power play—and how that infuriates him, and leads him to react in the way he does. Power games is the only way he knows how to interact with human beings—so he takes it as a lack of respect and is insulted that he can't buy Dave and Nancy's admiration—that's why he decides to murder Dave.

It's a long film, so there's no reason that these female characters weren't more fleshed out. We're often told that women's stories are not as significant and yet you see that female characters always the buffers and fillers for men and their stories. Their placement is necessary to the fluidity of this, and every, story. Out of everyone—Nancy is the person that suffers most because of du Pont, but it ends quite abruptly on an overhead shot of him being ambushed by a SWAT team. In the last few frames of the film there's no compassion, and I think it could have been a lot more powerful if Nancy wasn't dismissed as a person and recognized as someone who was as much of a constituent in Foxcatcher than Dave, Mark or even John du Pont.

Sara: And even that these women don't always value the same things that key male figures value. Again, we wanted to focus on Foxcatcher because not only are you going to be hearing a lot about this film, but there were so many themes and issues we felt we needed to discuss. Next dispatch, we'll be back to our regular format.

Sara Black McCulloch is a Toronto-based writer and researcher. Her work has appeared in Bitch, Little Brother Magazine, and The National Post. Follow her on Twitter@sblackmcculloch.

Fariha Roísín is a writer. Follow her on twitter @fariharoisin.

[Image of Foxcatcher cast at Cannes via Getty]

Porsche Owning Comic Gets Best Revenge Ever On Email Scammer

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Porsche Owning Comic Gets Best Revenge Ever On Email Scammer

When you put a classified ad in a magazine or on Craigslist you open yourself up to both helpful people and opportunistic scammers that claim they're millionaire reverends with long lost Porsche engines. This is the correct way to give those scammers more than a taste of their own medicine.

Spike Feresten — a friend of Jalopnik, judge for the second annual Jalopnik Film Festival, and host of Car Matchmaker on Esquire — recently placed an ad in Porsche Panorama magazine, looking for the original engine to his 1958 Porsche Speedster. Panorama is the go-to place in the Porsche community and a great place to start off a search for a long lost part.

Apparently, email scammers also think that people placing ads in Panorama are gullible morons with more money than brains. They didn't realize they were messing with a quick witted comedy writer, and Spike took this email exchange to a hilarious degree. Here's the entire exchange, republished from Spike.

Take a lesson, kids:

Spike: SEEKING 1958 PORSCHE SPEEDSTER ENGINE #67379

Response from Alan Peevler: hi i still have one, in pretty good condition, email me if your still interested

S: Hi Alan, thanks for the email. Are saying you have speedster engine 67379? Because that would be amazing. Can you take a photo of the engine # and send it to me?

REV. ALAN PEEVLER: here it is, bought it not quite long ago, forget about the body because it has been bashed beyond repair by my first son driving lesson, still in the hospital now, that why i want to sell it instead of body work. i took. the shot when it was bought newly for inspection. What do you have for it?

(PEEVLER SENDS RANDOM PORSCHE MOTOR PICS FROM EBAY) I NOW REALIZE I AM INTERACTING WITH A GRIFTER AND DECIDE TO WASTE HIS TIME FOR AS MANY DAYS AS POSSIBLE.)

S: I don't understand. Where is the photo of the engine #?

REV. ALAN PEEVLER: Hey Mr, i cant lie to you and besides I am a Reverend, to my best of Knowledge as the owner of the automobile that is exactly engine #67379. you can return it after i have shipped it to you if you found out that am not telling the truth and get your money refunded immediately, because i recieve money through Paypal only to protect our transaction. Many thanks.

S: Of course. I totally and completely trust you reverend. Apologies. How much are you asking for the engine? And where are you located?

REV. ALAN PEEVLER: God bless you for respecting God,

All am asking is $1,650 including shipping because the engine is still in perfect condition. Am in Ashburn Virginia

S: What a lucky break. I have a friend in Reston Virginia who could comeinspect the motor. Would that be possible? It's funny Peevler is like Porsche. Same amount of letters. Have you ever considered removing the Porsche emblem and putting a Peevler emblem on your cars?

REV. ALAN PEEVLER: I don't think that will be possible because me and my family are having a difficult time now, my son is still in comma in the hospital as a result of the car crash. So send me your complete shipping address and cell phone number with a passport, so that i can give you my money gram or Paypal address.

S: I am so sorry to hear about your son's comma. I just pray his condition doesn't worsen and he slips into an exclamation point or even worse, a semi-colon. Can I pay you in Canadian dollars or do you only accept Virginia Dinars? Praise God, me

REV. ALAN PEEVLER: Thanks for your understanding, You can pay with Canadian dollars. Western union address. Receivers name: LOIS LITTLE

ADDRESS: [REDACTED]

OR PAYPAL ADDRESS : [REDACTED]. If you are using western union the name i used is my church Treasurer or Deaconess. while the PAYPAL address is mine. many thanks and God bless

Rev. Alan Peevler.

(AFTER THIS EMAIL, I SEND HIM .03 CANADIAN CENTS VIA PAYPAL)

S: Dearest Reverend, I just sent you $1650 Canadian dollars. I feel bad about the unfavorable exchange rate so i also included an extra $500 to help cure your son of the horrible grammar accident that has befallen him. Give my best to your deaconess, Lois Little. She sounds like a salt of the earth. I don't suppose you have a photo of her topless?? If so, please send. One with Jesus, Ben Kingsley

REV. ALAN PEEVLER: hy, the money at my end is not up to the amount we agreed on. The money is $0.03 CAD, what is your end now?

S: Not possible. I sent many thousands of Canadian dollars. Can you call ebay to clear up this confusion? Can you put the engine in the mailbox today?

REV. ALAN PEEVLER: i am serious seller. Let me know when you get the situation sort out at your end. Rev. Alan.

S: I apologize. Sometimes I consider myself a comedian and was trying to be funny. Please forgive me. I really really want my engine back.

What is the next step?

REV. ALAN PEEVLER: To err is human to forgive is divine,

You have already being told what to do. Pay and get back your engine before i change my mind because my head Quarters has sent me more than enough money to threat my son.

S: Thank you, Alan. Will you resend wiring instructions and total, please?

(I ATTACH THE LEMON PARTY JPEG OF AN OLD MAN GAY THREESOME)

REV. ALAN PEEVLER: Receivers name: LOIS LITTLE

ADDRESS: [REDACTED] $1,650 (NO MENTION OF PHOTO!!)

S: Hi Alan. I hope Monday finds you well. Unfortunately, my 356 Porsche is no more. A gang of street thugs, Norwegians actually, hijacked the car last night and tossed it into the LA river. I will no longer need your engine. Now for the good news, my friend is also looking for a Porsche 356 motor 67379. Is it ok if I give him your email address? I am certain he will buy your motor regardless of its actual existence.

Have you ever considered writing a book about the little things in life that bother you? You could call it, MY PET PEEVLERS by Alan Peevler.

Your racked lamb of god, sf

I AM AWAITING HIS RESPONSE.....

That is the way to do it.

UPDATE: Spike had his $0.03 CAD returned this morning with the following note

Message from alan peevler:

This payment was denied because I do not accept payments in this currency. the little boy is a scammer

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Reddit Placates "Volatile Users" With Promise to Share Its New $50 M.

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Reddit Placates "Volatile Users" With Promise to Share Its New $50 M.

If female celebrities break into a cold sweat over Reddit users, just image how investors feel after throwing down $50 million in the hopes of profiting off the crowd-sourced site. But lead investor Sam Altman and CEO Yishan Wong appear to have come up with a plan to appease "the often volatile Reddit community."

According to Recode, Altman and his cohort plan to distribute 10 percent of the equity they just purchased to Reddit users . . . somehow. Wong, a CEO best known for back-tracking on his promises, added a comment to the funding announcement where he dangled the possibility of a cryptocurrency just for Redditors, adding a caveat so big it had to be capslocked:

"CAVEAT: KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS PLAN COULD TOTALLY FAIL," Wong wrote. "We are thinking about creating a cryptocurrency and making it exchangeable (backed) by those shares of reddit, and then distributing the currency to the community. The investors have explicitly agreed to this in their investment terms."

Altman, who invested personally, is the president of Y Combinator, the startup accelerator that incubated Reddit. Other Reddit investors are a mishmash of Silicon Valley bigwigs (Andreessen Horowitz and Sequoia), as well as a couple of actually famous people (Jared Leto and Snoop Dogg) aiming to be the next Ashton Kutcher. Recode reports:

Though Altman is not providing the majority of the $50 million, he is leading the round and setting its terms. Other investors include Andreessen Horowitz and Sequoia. Other individuals include Peter Thiel, Ron Conway, Paul Buchheit, Jared Leto, Jessica Livingston, Kevin and Julia Hartz, Mariam Naficy, Josh Kushner, Calvin Broadus Jr. aka Snoop Dogg and Wong.

Like other recent Y Combinator initiatives, the Robin Hood stock plan sounds half-baked, but that didn't stop Altman from evangelizing about "the community":

How exactly that's going to be managed hasn't yet been figured out (or, more importantly, approved by bankers and lawyers), but Altman said Reddit will likely be based on "the block chain," aka the public accounting system for bitcoin.

[...] "These community sites, the community has always generated the value and rarely gotten it for themselves," Altman told Re/code.

The logistics don't get any clearer in Altman's post about his investment:

First, it's always bothered me that users create so much of the value of sites like reddit but don't own any of it. So, the Series B Investors are giving 10% of our shares in this round to the people in the reddit community, and I hope we increase community ownership over time. We have some creative thoughts about the mechanics of this, but it'll take us awhile to sort through all the issues. If it works as we hope, it's going to be really cool and hopefully a new way to think about community ownership.

Wong also aligned himself with the community in his blog post. The CEO who raised $50 million is not "rich," he assured users:

An investment like this doesn't mean we're rich or successful. A couple days after we closed the financing, Sam came to our office and handed me a genuine 100 trillion dollar Zimbabwean note, as a reminder to us of the difference between money and value. Money can become worthless very quickly, value is something that is built over time through hard work.

We have been entrusted with capital by patient, long-term investors who support our views on difficult issues. We believe in free speech, self-governing communities, and the power of voting. We find that this freedom yields more good than bad, and we have chosen investors based on this belief.

Reddit Placates "Volatile Users" With Promise to Share Its New $50 M.

That bit about freedom of speech is really what both parties are worried about. How can Reddit maintain its laissez-faire stance on questionable content when celebrity leaks or underage photos will now be linked to the top venture capital firms in the Valley (and Jared Leto). What kind of brands would advertise in r/TheFappening?

Before this financial windfall, Reddit bowed down to its users:

After seeing social media sites come and go at the mercy of users who feel they own the place (exhibit A: Reddit's original competitor Digg) Reddit has been largely deferential to its community. It has changed its design very little over the years, and made only modest attempts to bring in money. In very recent memory, the company took a week to formulate a stance on whether to ban forums that were aggressively posting links to a trove of private nude photos of stolen from the iPhones of starlets like Jennifer Lawrence.

It remains to be seen whether cryptocurrency will buy off the all-powerful community. Altman already expressed distaste for the way Reddit handled the photo hack:

"Honestly in that specific case, I disagreed with how they handled it. I thought they were slow and not very clear in their reaction. but I believe their heart is in the right place."

That's a hazy enough statement to keep the crowd sourcing, at least for now.

[Image via Shutterstock]

All the Best New Stuff on Netflix This October

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All the Best New Stuff on Netflix This October

Call it Hallowe'en, call it All Hallows', Werewolf Bar Mitzvah or even Sinéadoconnor, as the Celts did, the Autumnal Equinox means just one thing: Rebirth and Renewal. Now is the time that we, like our ancestors, must take a long hard look at our Netflix queues and decide what goes and what stays, to make way for a fresh harvest.

RECENTLY ADDED / AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW

  • Are You Here (Owen Wilson, Zach Galifianakis, Amy Poehler)—Siblings fight over their inheritance, mostly this is in a hilarious way but sometimes it gets just plain heavy. Families.
  • Hellion—What could be more delightful than an overwhelmed young father, Aaron Paul, deciding trainwreck Juliette Lewis is a healthy choice for friendship. They seem perfect for each other, and I mean that in an authentically nasty way.
  • Killing Them Softly (Brad Pitt, Scoot McNairy, Richard Jenkins, James Gandolfini, Ray Liotta, Sam Shepard): Killing people ("them") in ways both soft and hard.
  • Third Person—A romance of sorts between America's Sweetheart Olivia Wilde and America's James Franco, James Franco.
  • Transformers: Age of Extinction—Robots versus men with gravitas (Kelsey Grammer, Stanley Tucci) versus Mark Wahlberg, the new Shia LaBoeuf.
  • Peaky Blinders S1—Old-timey gents scupper and finagle.
  • The Walking Dead S4—David Morrissey or nah? John Bernthal stars, I wish.
  • Comic Book Men S3—An even worse The Big Bang Theory made for people who really need you to know how much they hate The Big Bang Theory.
  • Parks & Recreation S6—Anne and Chris finally fuck right off.

AVAILABLE OCTOBER 1

  • Gilmore Girls—Does mo money automatically lead to mo problems? The jury's still out in Stars Hollow Connecticut.
  • Hostages—Literally the worst television show ever made in America.
  • Annie—An old man purchases an obnoxious youngster, as others sing in high-pitched, screeching voices. Later, the little girl tells FDR what's what.
  • Bad Johnson—Cam Gigandet's stupid penis detaches and becomes a person, naturally. Future classic in the vein of Ted.
  • Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle—the Demi Moore one.
  • Chicken Run—Mel Gibson stars as a Holocaust denier/chicken.
  • Domestic Disturbance—Recovering alcoholic John Travolta starts to believe his liar son that Vince Vaughn, Teri Polo's new husband, might be into murdering. He is disturbed! Hence the title.
  • Ernest Saves Christmas—Ernest saves a holiday.
  • Finding Forrester—Busta Rhymes becomes the man now dog.
  • Galaxy Quest—Veronica Mars's dad kidnaps the cast of fictional utopian TV show Star Wars, so they will fight a Star War.
  • Hit! (1973)—Billy Dee Williams and Richard Pryor take a team of mercs to France to get revenge on the drug cartel one of them blames for his daughter's OD.
  • Kramer vs. Kramer—Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep are versus each other.
  • My Father the Hero—Fourteen-year-old Katherine Heigl tells some random dude that she is fucking Gérard Depardieu, in order to impress him. In reality, Gérard Depardieu is her father: An equally impressive fact.
  • Paths of Glory (1957)—Kirk Douglas versus that legendary Gallic cowardice.
  • Please Subscribe: A Documentary About YouTubers—An exposé about what it is like to have a real job.
  • Rescue Dawn (2006)—Christian Bale, Steve Zahn, Jeremy Davies, and Zach Grenier are in The Shit; would like to get out of The Shit.
  • Romeo + Juliet (1996)—The finest film of our or any era, and the only Baz Luhrmann movie that is not excruciating to watch.
  • Shadow of the Vampire—Udo Kier is a vampire acting in a movie about John Malkovich being a vampire acting in a movie about a vampire in 1922.
  • Shane—A little boy yells a cowboy's name for over two hours.
  • Shivers (1975)—David Cronenberg's first film about his usual things.
  • Sleepless in Seattle (1993)—Single parents may or may not "have mail."
  • The Wedding Planner (2001)—Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey find that they are perfect for one another. No one can disagree on that one.
  • Three Fugitives (1989)—Nick Nolte and Martin Short are on the run due to prison recidivism. One of them brings a baby (the third, eponymous, fugitive).
  • Tombstone (1993)—You're a daisy if you do.

OCTOBER 2

  • Reign S1—Mary Queen of Scots feels weird; has an upsettingly hot teen husband; yells at grownups a lot.
  • The Vampire Diaries S5—Nobody cares if Bonnie is alive or dead, as usual; Damon gets a sexy boyfriend who becomes a serial killer and serial liar to gypsies.
  • Carrie—Chloë Moretz, Julianne Moore, and Judy Greer; not that bad.
  • Under the Electric Sky: EDC 2013—The Electric Daisy Carnival. Have you heard of it? Nope.

OCTOBER 3

  • The Originals S1—Klaus has emotional problems for no reason. There is a gay vampire in it. Nathan Parsons is in it. Reverse werewolves are in it. A pregnant vampire-werewolf hybrid is in it. And a tiny witch. Everybody's real grumpy, all the time, even though they are fully magical and they live in New Orleans and they are all bajillionaires.

OCTOBER 6

  • Little Man (2006)—That can't possibly be right. From the trailer it seems like one Wayans brother pretends to be a baby so the other Wayans brother will adopt him and then he can do crimes. I don't believe that, for one second, is a movie. I can believe in reverse werewolves, but not that.

OCTOBER 7

  • Hart of Dixie S3—Jamie King finds herself trapped in a terrible TV show.
  • Raising Hope S4—Devolves into the usual Greg Garcia nonsense, despite its bright early years.
  • Supernatural S9—Straight women fetishizing and giggling about gay sex because they feel powerless in their own lives, take nine.
  • The Following S2—Natalie Zea and Shawn Ashmore star in a scary show that is determinedly and infuriatingly about characters other than them. Also no Nico Tortorella = no point to anything.
  • In a World... (2013)—Lake Bell, Demetri Martin, Rob Corddry, Michaela Watkins, Ken Marino, Fred Melamed, Eva Longoria, Tig Notaro, Nick Offerman, and Geena Davis do their various hilarious things. (Pretty, Smarmy, Grouchy, Spacey, Dreamy, Ubiquitous, Perfect, Wise, Virile and Olympic-levelArchery.)

OCTOBER 8

  • Arrow S2—Colton Haynes looks gross some more.

OCTOBER 9

  • The Tomorrow People S1—Arrow's cousin, or brother, or something, is also super, or something, and somebody is somebody's uncle, or dad. Possibly it is tomorrow.
  • A Long Way Down—A suicidal Pierce Brosnan makes friends with even more depressing people like Toni Collette, Aaron Paul, and Sam Neill; hopefully they can remember not to kill themselves.

OCTOBER 10

  • Chelsea Handler: Uganda Be Kidding Me (2014; Live)—A famous white lady with zero problems in her life Rwanders if you are kidding her.

OCTOBER 11

  • Breathe In (2013)—Guy Pearce pervs on his family's British exchange student, presumably.
  • Heatstroke (2013)—Stephen Dorff is so hot it might give you... heatstroke.
  • Swelter (2014)—A small-town sheriff suddenly realizes that he used to be a criminal. Starring Grant "Cooter" Bowler, JCVD, Dr. Octopus.
  • Why Stop Now (2012)—Jesse Eisenberg and Melissa Leo... Nope. Don't do her. Heck on that. I don't do that.

OCTOBER 14

  • Witching & Bitching (2013)—I mean.

OCTOBER 15

  • Stay—White people (Taylor Schilling, Aidan Quinn) get pregnant, weird.
  • Tim Minchin & The Heritage Orchestra Live (2011)—"Flanked by a full orchestra, Tim Minchin takes the Royal Albert Hall by storm with a wonderfully witty evening of satirical musical comedy." Doesn't that sound horrible? I'm sure this Tim Minchin is a nice man but that sounds like the absolute worst experience.

OCTOBER 16

  • Cowgirls n' Angels (James Cromwell, Jackson Rathbone, Alicia Witt, Kathleen Rose Perkins, Frankie Faison)—Great cast. Girl with rodeo and daddy issues goes looking for peace, finds the d instead.

OCTOBER 18

  • Last Man Standing S3—Nancy Travis and Hector Elizondo find themselves on a Tim Allen sitcom.
  • Liberal Arts (2012)—Director Josh Radnor plays another (autobiographical?) man-child nightmare; is saved by a MPDG. Do not. The title alone should be enough, in a post-Braff world.

OCTOBER 21

  • Wyatt Cenac: Brooklyn—Standup special by a Comedy Person.

OCTOBER 22

  • The 100 S1—Shit constantly and amazingly going down once the barren Earth is repopulated by street toughs.
  • E-Team (2014)—A documentary about human rights investigators.
  • The Hunger Games: Catching Fire—Doc about human rights violations.

OCTOBER 25

  • Sons of Anarchy S6—A methed-up gang of hooligans acts like total trash.
  • The Carrie Diaries S2—Same.
  • Django Unchained—QT finds a way to combine two great passions: No-fault targets for cartoonish brutality and everybody saying the n-word as much as possible. Stick somebody's gross toes in his mouth and ya got the whole burrito.

HALLOWEEN

  • Before I Go to Sleep (2014)—Nicole Kidman has that thing like in 50 First Dates only in this case, one of those dates is with The Eternal Footman. (Thanatos.)
  • Rain Man (1988)—A person with a neurological disorder we still don't really understand must care for his brother, played by Dustin Hoffman.

[h/t Project Casting and Movie Rewind's Everything Netflix, image via Shutterstock]

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.

How A War Over Tackle Football Consumed America's Most Elite Prep School

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How A War Over Tackle Football Consumed America's Most Elite Prep School

The tide has turned against the marginalization and "sissification" of the rich American white boy. Or, at least, intramural tackle football is back at the Lawrenceville School.

Alumni of Lawrenceville, an old-brick-and-older-money boarding school located outside Princeton, N.J., have been invited to Parents Weekend to take part in an Oct. 18 celebration of the comeback of so-called House football. That's a dorm league made up of teams from each residence located on the Circle, a portion of the 700-acre campus that was designed about a century-and-a-half ago by Frederick Law Olmsted, the same guy who laid out New York's Central Park.

"We're grateful for all the efforts the Administration made to restore this special tradition," read the invitation, which went out earlier this month and was signed by Hy Bunn (Class of '74). Along with being an heir to the Bunn-o-Matic coffeemaker fortune, he's a co-chairman of Lawrenceville's ad hoc committee on House football.

Bunn's memo betrayed no hint of the ugliness of the past year, during which the school went without the House league for the first time in more than a century. A group of old guys, some with ties to Lawrenceville, others just named Rush Limbaugh, saw something deep and dark in its disappearance, and spent the hiatus hankering not just for the return of a sport, but also of a bygone era. The committee Bunn chairs, in fact, was formed solely to quell the football-incited rebellion.

Lawrenceville, or L'ville to insiders, was founded in 1810. Its football confederation dates back to 1889, and has long been billed as the oldest such league in the world. Headmaster Elizabeth A. Duffy didn't mention the league's longevity or historic standing as she emailed parents and alums on Sept. 16, 2013, to tell them she'd dropped House football. She explained that the school's equally ancient intermural varsity football program would go on with the administration's blessing. But because of what Duffy described as a "dwindling" willingness of students to spill blue blood for their dorm, there would be no House football that autumn. She also referenced society's heightened worries about the dangers of the gridiron while rationalizing her decision.

"Declining numbers and uneven physicality have made the league increasingly non-competitive and the coaches increasingly uncomfortable in their roles," read Duffy's email. (Coaches are a mix of adults—the tennis coach moonlights as a House football coach, for instance—and students.)

The school had switched the league from standard 11-man football to eight-man football years ago to address the human-resources issues. But, as Duffy pointed out in her statement, there still weren't enough players suiting up even for the downsized version, leading to forfeits that marred the 2012 season. She told the school newspaper, The Lawrence, that two different dorms could find only eight able or willing players per game for the 2013 season, adding to the safety concerns already circling around all youth football these days.

"People are voting with their feet," Duffy said.

Most alums took the news with a ho-hum. "I honestly don't know anybody from my class who gave a shit," one 1981 grad tells me. "But apparently some people did."

Those who cared, really cared. If the current students had voted with their feet that the game had to go, a few elder Lawrentians took to the school's website to tell Duffy they'd let their wallets make some noise. Among them: Michael Chan, class of 2009, who wrote, "We will certainly be speaking through our donations" if Duffy didn't restore House football.

The squabble quickly became about more than just the fate of an intramural sport.

Lawrenceville's always been more about brains than brawn. A New York Times story from 2001 described L'ville as a pipeline to the Ivy League: 145 Lawrentians had enrolled in Princeton or Harvard over the previous decade—not bad for a school with an enrollment hovering around 800. It's also renowned for its cost. The school is usually identified as a member of the Group of Seven, a sort of axis of affluence made up of preps along the Eastern Seaboard that also includes Andover, Choate, Deerfield, Exeter, Hotchkiss, and St. Paul's. A Business Insider survey in 2013 found Lawrenceville to be the most expensive boarding school not just in that ritzy clique, but in the whole country. Tuition and fees are now $54,590 for boarders.

How A War Over Tackle Football Consumed America's Most Elite Prep School

Lawrenceville School in 2010, shortly before a charity pie fight. Photo by Mel Evans/AP.


Given its age, Lawrenceville has an awfully short roster of notable athletes of any stripe. Take away Joakim Noah, in fact, and you've likely never heard of any Lawrenceville jocks, unless you're big into 19th-century Ivy League football. There's Knowlton Lyman Ames, pride of the class of 1886, who went by "Snake" while at Princeton, where in 1889 he was named to the first consensus All-American football team. Ames scored 730 points at Princeton, including 60 in a single game against Rutgers, and is believed to hold the career scoring record for all of college football. Ames also gets credit for executing the first-ever fake punt. Then there's Alexander Spinning Lilley, an 1888 Lawrenceville grad, who would become the first football coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes. The biggest football star of recent vintage is probably Clint Frank, class of 1934, who would later play for Yale and win the Heisman Trophy in 1937.

Duffy's decision to kill off the tackle league triggered something deep in a small, vocal cadre of older alums. Maurice Hakim, class of '66, was among those who saw it as something much bigger than football.

"It awoke a lot of alumni who weren't aware of what was going on in the school," Hakim says, "and it precipitated a great response."

Hakim attempted to articulate what was behind the dissent in a lengthy letter published by the school newspaper. A representative passage:

Many of Lawrenceville's great traditions continue to crumble since it went co-ed. This is just another tragic piece of fallout from the PC ethos that has permeated our culture since the late 1980's and, I dare say, contributed to the emasculation of our young men. Call it what you will; but when I see long held traditions thrown into the dust bin of history, it makes me puke. I recognize that some policy changes have been necessary but I am fed up with the many changes made by the Lawrenceville administration that ... have cow-towed to political correctness and, in general, to the 'sissification' of its young men.

Outside agitators latched on to the big-picture and sissification arguments. The Daily Caller headlined its story about the end of House football as "The Wimping of America." Rush Limbaugh ranted similarly on his radio show just days after Duffy's decision. He tagged L'ville as "elitist"—"Jay Carney went to this place," he huffed—before observing that the death of the House league was, just like the increased concern over concussions, evidence of the "slow creep" of America's war on football. (Carney, class of '83, was President Obama's press secretary from 2011 until June. He played for Kennedy House during his time at Lawrenceville.)

The headmaster surely didn't expect the right wing's biggest blowhard to weigh in when she cut one intramural sport. But she should have known there'd be blowback. Change has never been embraced at L'ville, on or off the gridiron.

The school's varsity football program, for example, relied on a single-wing offense for about half a century after the rest of the gridiron world had dropped the scheme, a run-intensive precursor to the "wildcat" where the ball is snapped to a tailback, not the quarterback. (In 2004, longtime L'ville head coach Ken Keuffel even authored a book, Winning Single Wing Football, still espousing a strategy that began losing favor before World War II.)

Cultural advances arrived with equal tardiness: Lawrenceville was all white and all male for most of its existence. The first black student arrived in 1964, and females couldn't enroll until 1987. Both those changes came only after lengthy in-house battles. The Lawrenceville board of directors, in fact, voted down propositions that would have allowed co-eds five times in the 17 years before the idea was approved.

The demise of intramural football came amid a flurry of what some alumni surely took as in-your-face signals that this wasn't their great-great-great-grandfather's Lawrenceville.

Just as Duffy's axe was falling on the House league, in fact, Lawrenceville was in the midst of settling an 11-year-old sexual-preference discrimination lawsuit that brought the school titillating and tabloidy coverage. The case was filed in Mercer County Superior Court by Ronald Savoie, a former L'ville teacher. According to the court transcript, Savoie was terminated in 2003 after maintenance men reported to then-headmaster Michael Scott Cary that they'd found "leather chairs hanging from the ceiling, adult diapers, latex gloves, sex toys, and a stash of pornographic videos" in the teacher's on-campus house. Cary then "concluded that 'fisting,' which he understood to be a homosexual practice, and group sex were occurring in plaintiff's basement." He immediately forced Savoie out of his teaching gig, and the teacher sued shortly thereafter. The case wasn't settled until May 2014. Terms of the settlement were not disclosed. "Mr. Savoie is extremely pleased with the settlement," attorney Alan Schorr says. "That's all that I'm allowed to say." One local who followed the case estimated that the school spent well over $1 million in attorney's fees on the Savoie litigation. "They should have settled this long ago," says the observer, who requested anonymity. "They thought they were just too good to lose, just the snootiest bunch you can imagine."

How A War Over Tackle Football Consumed America's Most Elite Prep School

Lawrenceville also got unflattering national attention when Maya Peterson, an openly gay co-ed and the first female president of the student body in L'Ville's history, was forced to resign from the position after posting a photo on social media showing her decked out in a Yale University sweatshirt and carrying a hockey stick. The shot was captioned "Lawrenceville boi" with hashtags #confederate, #peakedinhighschool" and #romney2016. Despite her claims that it was done as a prank, Peterson, who is black, could not overcome accusations that her post poked an egregious amount of fun at the school's white boys. Peterson's brief reign as the face of Lawrenceville was highlighted by a push from students to install unisex bathrooms. It failed.

The ugliest chapter came in April, just as Peterson was getting bounced. A group calling itself the Concerned Lawrenceville Alumni (CLA), which was formed after Duffy's cancellation of House football, emailed an unsigned, nearly 3,000-word screed to the L'ville community that reads like something out of a John Birch Society pamphlet circa 1963.

The memo railed against what was called "an engineered change in the demographics of the student body."

"Multiculturalism, globalization, and diversity are the hallmark standards of the Admissions Office today," it read. "In the year 2003-04, Lawrenceville's student body was primarily Caucasian American (70%) with 13% Asian and 8% International; in the current year those numbers are 55% Caucasian American, 21% Asian and 14% International."

Duffy also took heat for her acceptance of non-heterosexuals. "This administration has openly promoted and advocated the benefits of alternative life styles throughout the entire student body community," read the CLA document, "including [students] ages 14 and 15 years old."

Her push for diversity was described as "increasingly distracting" to the Lawrenceville community, and was blamed for the "relatively small" Lawrenceville endowment of "$338 million."

As the CLA's memo wound down, its authors railed against Duffy's termination of House football, and blamed the league's demise on all of L'ville's non-male, non-American, non-hetero newcomers: "The tragic difficulties experienced by the Circle House sporting traditions has to be credited to the objectives of the administration and the applicant demographics which the School is seeking for admission."

At this point, even the portion of the Lawrenceville community that hadn't given a shit about House football decided to pipe up. At an April 14 assembly at the school featuring scholar and author Henry Louis "Skip" Gates, alum and board trustee emeritus Glenn Hutchins took the stage to address the hate. He blasted the CLA's anonymous memo as cowardly and false. He told the student body that the Lawrenceville of today is a better school now than when he attended, no matter what some grouchy alums were saying.

"The changes which you embrace readily as youth can be bewildering to those of us who graduated from here 40 to 50 years ago," Hutchins said, according to a transcript released by the school. "We were all boys, were almost all Protestants, could be guaranteed admission if we came from the right family and had very few if any black classmates. You go to a co-educated school and live in a society which is globalized, multi-cultural and intensely competitive with no guarantees—other than from the benefits of intelligence and hard work. In my day, most all of the school's staff, teachers and Trustees were men. Today, the Lawrenceville community looks like America and is led by our first female headmaster.

"You also have to help us to continue to make wise decisions to change, such as our actions over the years to open Lawrenceville's doors to Jews, Blacks, women, Muslims, Asians and Latinos," he continued. "For all of you in the audience, we don't care what your preferences or background are. We value—in fact we cherish—each and every one of you as a member of this community."

During the spring semester, the ad hoc committee filed its report on House football. It recommended giving intramural tackle football another try in the 2014-2015 school year. The caveats: The game will return as six-man football, a version generally found only in teensy towns in Western and Southwestern states; and supporters would have to find at least "10-12 boys per House" willing to play full contact, or else the league would permanently become a flag-football operation. As Bunn told the Lawrenceville community in his invitation to next month's Parents Weekend: "We're pleased to report that enough boys signed up in each House this fall for the boys to play six-man tackle football."

So, the House league is back, at least for now. But there is little joy in L'ville.

Bunn did not return calls for comment on the return of House football. Jennifer Szwalek, spokesperson for Lawrenceville, declined an interview request, saying that the celebration invitation "speaks for itself."

But that document lacked any reference to the strife that preceded the comeback. It made no mention of Duffy, either. While House football is returning, Duffy is not. She'd announced in the middle of the fight that she'd be quitting as headmaster after this school year. She told The Lawrence, "I'm not certain what I will do after I leave Lawrenceville."

Image by Jim Cooke


Hip Alt-Lit Editor Quits Public Writing Career After Rape Accusations

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Hip Alt-Lit Editor Quits Public Writing Career After Rape Accusations

For all its gestures toward radicalism and openness, Brooklyn's hip young "alt lit" scene might not be any less toxic for women than...well, anywhere else, according to a series of essays published this week accusing a prominent young editor of sexual assault.

The scandal—now a hot topic across the social-media platforms on which the alt-lit scene thrives—kicked off this weekend, when 19-year-old writer Sophia Katz published an essay on Medium about an alt-lit magazine editor who she claims sexually abused her.

Hip Alt-Lit Editor Quits Public Writing Career After Rape Accusations

While Katz doesn't name the editor in the piece—she used the pseudonym "Stan"—other writers have said that Katz was writing about Stephen Tully Dierks, the 29-year-old editor of the alt-lit mag Pop Serial. Pop Serial is influential in the close-knit alt-lit scene (Tao Lin designed its latest issue cover) and Dierks is one of its boy kings—a fact which, Katz writes in her essay, makes it easy for him to prey on young girls.

Katz, who's based in Toronto, says that when she visited New York last May to make career connections, Dierks gave her a place to stay and then coerced her, repeatedly, into having sex with him.

After she published her story and other women came forward to corroborate and add to her allegations, Dierks deleted his Twitter account and announced on Facebook that he was leaving public life.

Hip Alt-Lit Editor Quits Public Writing Career After Rape Accusations

Alt lit—short for alternative literature, duh—is the name given to a community of writers, mostly physically based in Brooklyn but spiritually located online, who take as their inspiration and subject matter the internet and internet culture.

Hip, youthful, awkward, and uncomfortably self-aware, its participants—Dierks, Alt Lit Gossip editor Frank Hinton, author Noah Cicero, and poet Steve Roggenbuck, to name a few—are all twenty-somethings fluent in Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and other social platforms, which they use to self-publish and self-promote. "Its members," the poet Kennth Goldsmith wrote on the New Yorker's website last year, "have produced a body of distinctive literature marked by direct speech, expressions of aching desire, and wide-eyed sincerity."

Its members are also mostly male. While there are certainly female alt-lit writers (perhaps Marie Calloway is the most famous), other women writers—like Safy-Hallan Farah—contend that the alt-lit scene is just as much a boys' club as any other literary scene. Farah wrote for Fanzine last year, "If you're not one of the ... tokens or a girl Alt Lit bros deem attractive, then your work will likely be slept on or tokenized."

Katz's essay paints Dierks as a creepy, self-deprecating-but-self-obsessed Brooklyn dude who constantly proclaims how much he loves women but then treats them like objects. Here, she describes how he invited her to stay with him in May:

Stan (Dierks) invited me to stay at his place after we had exchanged emails for about one week. ... He explained that there would be three other people staying in his apartment at the same time I would be there, and that I was "welcome to sleep in [his] bed if [I would] be comfortable with that haha."

"I'm down," he continued. But if I wasn't, I "might wanna find a different place."

Katz told him she'd bring a sleeping bag and didn't mind sleeping on the floor. He didn't get the hint.

Over the course of her weeklong stay, Katz writes, Dierks would take her to readings, assure her that "we don't have to do anything," and then voicelessly grope her when the lights went out. Here, she describes their first sexual encounter:

That evening we were in his room sitting on his bed, and he began kissing me ... I had no interest in making out with him or having sex with him, but had a feeling that it would "turn into an ordeal" if I rejected him. ... I knew I had nowhere else to stay, and if I upset him that I might be forced to leave. ... Suddenly I heard the lock on the apartment door click, and all four of his roommates entered.

"Wait, Stan we can't. Everyone just got home; they will definitely hear," I said, hoping this was a way out.

"No they won't. It's fine. Let's keep going."

"No, I think they will. I really don't want to if your roommates are home. We really shouldn't."

"No, it's fine. We should. We should. Let's keep going."

"Stan, please can we just do this later. Your walls are really thin." I felt tears welling up in my eyes and tried to dissolve them. I didn't want to do it later. I didn't want to do it ever. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wanted to leave, but I was trapped with him in his tiny, dimly lit room.

"No, we should keep going. Let's keep going."

He got on top of me. I began to relinquish control.

"Wait, aren't you going to use a condom?" I asked.

"Oh, come on. Please don't make me do that."

"Stan I really, really think you should use a condom, please use a condom."

"I'm clean. Are you?" he questioned.

"Yes but it doesn't matter. Please. Come on."

"Its fine Sophie, come on, we don't need one. I hate condoms."

I realized there was no way for me to win.

Other encounters throughout the week played out similarly.

After Katz published her story, Dierks's former friend, roommate, and fellow writer Sarah Jean Alexander came forward on Tumblr to corroborate Katz—and identify "Stan." She called what happened to Katz "rape" and wrote:

We shouldn't be afraid to discuss this publicly when Sophia has been brave enough to call out her abuser in a community where he has immense support and friendship. Stephen Tully Dierks should not be shielded because he is or was our friend. We should hold our friends as accountable as we hold everyone else, if not more.

Alexander's post was shared by Alt Lit Gossip on Tumblr; soon after, an anonymous 18-year-old woman on Tumblr came forward with a similar story to Katz's—in which Dierks allegedly invited this woman to a reading, got her drunk, and took her back to his apartment after she asked to be dropped off at hers. When she tried to go to sleep, the woman says, he didn't let her:

I left my jacket on in the hopes that it would send a clear message that I wasn't uncomfortable removing any of my clothing in his presence at all, but he asked me over and over if he could take it and hang it up for me. Eventually, I agreed just so he would stop talking. ... Stephen kicked off his shoes, lowered himself onto his bed and crawled over to me. He began caressing my arm and pressed his mouth against mine with feverish urgency. I protested, but it imediately became clear that my attempts were futile. I lay still and stared at the ceiling as he groped and fondled me. Eventually, as Sophia did in her story, I began to do things that I thought would make him finish faster. He used my body off and on all night until he fell asleep.

Both Katz and this woman say they're still traumatized by their interactions with Dierks.

Dierks responded by deleting his Twitter account and publishing this message on Facebook (it's since been removed):

Hip Alt-Lit Editor Quits Public Writing Career After Rape Accusations

So... hope you didn't spend too much on your Pop Serial subscription?

In the wake of the public accusations, a number of other alt-lit writers on Twitter and Tumblr have also come forward, claiming that they've known all along about the alleged bad behavior of Dierks and the Pop Serial crowd: straight white guys who talk about gender equality but act like pigs.

Hip Alt-Lit Editor Quits Public Writing Career After Rape Accusations


Safy-Hallan Farah, who first criticized the "sexist" way Dierks ran Pop Serial in Fanzine last year, thinks Katz's story might shut him down for good.

(Farah is referring to Ed Champion, the book blogger who's threatened multiple women on Twitter.)

Dierks's last tweet suggests he has a lot of soul-searching ahead of him.

Hip Alt-Lit Editor Quits Public Writing Career After Rape Accusations

If you have anything you'd like to add to this story, email me at allie@gawker.com or hop in the comments.

[Photos via Tumblr, Facebook]

Report: Zappos CEO's Las Vegas Dreamland Is Imploding

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Report: Zappos CEO's Las Vegas Dreamland Is Imploding

Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh's deeply sad plan to transform Downtown Las Vegas—the bleakest part of a bleak town—into a startup enclave is dying, Las Vegas Weekly reports. Huge layoffs just arrived, and one of the $350 million project's leaders is already publicly blasting Hsieh.

The "Downtown Project" was meant to give Hsieh and his merry band of manchildren a facsimile of college: dorm-style living, flowing booze, organized activities, and a very fresh start. Instead, it was basically just a shipping container park, unpopular retail space, and luxury housing in an undesirable part of Vegas. DTP relied on its giant endowment, luring entrepreneurs to stick around town and build pretty much any business that's not selling cocaine outside casinos. But the digital homesteaders never built much of anything beyond the semblance of prosperity and productivity, attending subsidized hackathons and cocktail hours in the desert.

Still, it persisted. Just this week, Recode published a multi-part series that described the Downtown Project as "The Great American Techtopia":

Tony Hsieh — the enigmatic, shy yet hard-partying 40-year-old founder of Vegas-based shoe-sales site Zappos, which he sold to Amazon for $1.2 billion — could have a lot of toys. He chose a city.

[...]

In a mix of franchising and entrepreneurship, Hsieh's Downtown Project has 300 projects going on simultaneously, from new restaurants to tech startups to social science experiments — his small business founders make a salary and then 50 percent of the profit after paying their loans back to him. He said his inspiration was, in part, the immersive computer game Second Life.

It turns out Sim City experience doesn't lend itself that well to the real world, and well-funded arrogance isn't enough to maintain a fantasy. From Las Vegas Weekly's report:

Sources say there has been a "bloodletting" at DTP, with numerous layoffs beginning this morning. Employees have been called in for individual meetings and entire teams have been cut from the payroll.

One source said the cuts directly hit non-revenue-generating entities—the Learning Village, music programs, tours, kids and family and the Window at the Ogden. Another source said that almost everyone "non-operational" was being let go. Names of those who lost their jobs are beginning trickle in, including Ashton Allen, head of the music team. Former University of Iowa professor David Gould, who moved to Las Vegas to work with DTP and ran the Window multi-use space, resigned this morning.

In a public letter, Gould decries pretty much the whole operation:

Tomorrow, many of the people who merged their voices with yours will find themselves without a job. While their names have yet to be revealed, the disillusioned expressions I conjure up are keeping me awake tonight. This group will undoubtedly include numerous young adults, who have not yet found your good fortune. As they have naively purchased homes and started families, this decision will impact them greatly.

"Business is business" will be the defense from those you have charged with delivering the sad news. But we have not experienced a string of tough breaks or bad luck. Rather, this is a collage of decadence, greed, and missing leadership. While some squandered the opportunity to "dent the universe,"others never cared about doing so in the first place. There were heroes among us, however, and it is for them that my soul weeps.

My heart also goes out to those whose jobs are spared. While that might seem a bit ridiculous, they will surely expend energy trying to understand the secret of why they were kept and others let go. In the end, the only thing they will know for sure is that their leaders lied to them in order to hurt their friends.

While reason might conclude that I should wait to either identify a new job, or collect my severance pay, I am compelled to tender my resignation instead. Compensation was never my primary concern. Doing meaningful work, however, is.

Emphasis added. Now, the hangover sets in.

Photo: Sheila Scarborough/Flickr

To contact the author of this post, write to biddle@gawker.com

Watching Clouds on Satellite This Afternoon Is a Mesmerizing Treat

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Watching Clouds on Satellite This Afternoon Is a Mesmerizing Treat

Mother Nature decided that today is cool clouds day! A speedy eight-hour loop of today's satellite imagery across the eastern U.S. reveals plenty of cool features to drool over, including a vanishing storm and a mysterious swirl over Lake Huron. Let's take a look...

[The image at the top of this post is animated and somewhat large—it may take a moment to load.]

Fog

Watching Clouds on Satellite This Afternoon Is a Mesmerizing Treat

It was a pretty foggy morning across much of the middle East Coast between Charlotte and Baltimore, with visibility reaching zero in many locations. Fog is pretty cool to look at on visible satellite because, unlike most clouds, fog is a uniform, white deck of gloom that often forms around terrain instead of above it. The result is usually a spidery, splotchy deck of low clouds that twists and turns with rivers, lakes, hill, and mountains.

As the sunlight heats the atmosphere and causes the temperature to climb away from the dew point (lowering the humidity), the fog starts to burn off, leaving clear skies in its wake. In areas where the fog burns off early enough and sunlight is able to directly heat the surface, patches of cumulus clouds often develop.

Pennsylvania Thunderstorm

Watch the animated image at the top of this post. See the thunderstorm that comes into view across south-central Pennsylvania around sunrise? It completely dissipates as soon as it hits the cooler, more stable fog bank. It vanishes into a puff of high-level cirrus cloud in just a few frames.

More thunderstorms are forming behind that line as of 400PM EDT, some of which could reach marginal severe levels with hail the size of quarters being the main threat.

Mysterious Swirl Over Lake Huron

Watching Clouds on Satellite This Afternoon Is a Mesmerizing Treat

Starting around 1700 UTC (200PM EDT) this afternoon, a very interesting feature popped up over Lake Huron (the one that makes up the eastern shore of Michigan). A defined swirl in the clouds followed by an almost eye-like clearing appeared over Kincardine, Ontario and spun southwest back over the lake. The feature is approaching the center of the lake and is becoming obscured by high-level clouds in recent satellite imagery.

The best theory I've come up with regarding this feature's creation is that it's a bookend vortex—a counterclockwise rotation that forms at the northern end of a squall line—created by a line of showers and storms that moved through the region during the morning and early afternoon hours. If any meteorologists have a better theory, chime in down in the comments!

NASA's website is one of the best sites available for GOES East and GOES West satellite imagery. Give it a look every once and a while—odds are, you'll find something interesting when you least expect it.

[all images via NASA]


You can follow the author on Twitter or send him an email.

CDC Confirms First Case of Ebola in U.S.

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CDC Confirms First Case of Ebola in U.S.

The CDC just confirmed the first case of Ebola in the United States, according to Reuters. The patient was placed in "strict isolation" at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas earlier this week.

From WFAA:

In a statement issued Tuesday night, Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Dallas said the patient was admitted based on symptoms and "recent travel history."

The hospital, located at Greenville Avenue and Walnut Hill Lane in northeast Dallas, said it's complying with all recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and the Texas Department of Health to ensure the safety of other patients and medical staff.

According to CNN, the patient recently traveled to Liberia and was admitted to Texas Health Presbyterian on Sunday. A press conference to discuss the case is scheduled for 5:30 pm.

UPDATE 5:45 pm: At a press conference, Dr. Thomas Frieden, the director of the CDC, said the patient left Liberia on September 19 and arrived in the U.S. on September 20. The patient arrived in the country with no symptoms, according to Frieden, but several days later, on the 24th, began to show signs of the disease and was admitted to the hospital on Sunday. The Ebola test was confirmed by the CDC on Tuesday.

"There is no doubt in my mind that we will stop it here," Frieden said, though he admitted that the "handful" of people who came in contact with the patient, "could develop Ebola in coming weeks."

Tracy Morgan: "Walmart Is Blaming Me for an Accident That They Caused"

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Tracy Morgan: "Walmart Is Blaming Me for an Accident That They Caused"

Tracy Morgan hasn't made many public statements since the six-car accident that critically injured him and killed one of his friends, but he decided today to weigh in on his legal battle against Walmart, the company whose truck crashed into his limo bus.

Walmart's attorneys said yesterday in a court filing that it doesn't owe Morgan and his fellow passengers anything because they should have protected themselves by buckling up. The company further denied any responsibility for how long the truck driver, who Morgan's lawyers claim was sleep-deprived at the time of the accident, had been awake.

"After I heard what Walmart said in court, I felt I had to speak out. I can't believe Walmart is blaming me for an accident that they caused. My friends and I were doing nothing wrong. I want to thank my fans for sticking with me during this difficult time. I love you all. I'm fighting hard every day to get back," Morgan replied in a statement today, according to Dave Itzkoff at the New York Times.

Morgan, who suffered traumatic brain injuries in the accident, was due for a cognitive assessment at the end of this month. His lawyer said in August that he's been having "a tough time," so this lucid and optimistic statement looks like good news in terms of his eventual return to comedy.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Luke Russert Upset About Uncontrolled Outbreak of News About Ebola

This Dude Spent $19,000 on the Most Luxurious Flight in the World

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This Dude Spent $19,000 on the Most Luxurious Flight in the World

Color me jealous and desperately seeking a bank loan after reading the account of a $19,000 airplane ride from Singapore to New York that included multiple courses of lobster, a full-size bed and a "private room" for waiting pre-departure.

Entrepreneur Derek Low cashed in his frequent flier miles to take the grand journey on Singapore Airlines and dutifully recorded the adventure on Medium. Anyone with $19,000 to spare is welcome to jump in the comments with their checking account info, don't be shy. Just right down there, go on. It's okay.

The Suites were exclusive to their flagship Airbus A380, and they go beyond flat beds by offering enclosed private cabins with sliding doors that cocoon you in your own little lap of luxury. The interior was designed by French luxury yacht designer Jean-Jacques Coste and comes along with a plush soft leather armchair hand-stitched by the Italian master craftsmen Poltrona Frau. Perhaps most well-known of all, Singapore Airlines became the first and only commercial airline with a double bed in the sky.

Low posted a stream of photographs that documented all the luxury, from the pre-flight champagne and lobster to the on-flight foie gras and more lobster to the free Toblerones to the cushy, hotel-size big bed that he sleeps in because why not, you paid for it, guy.

The luxuries were basically never-ending:

Zaf told me that there were only 3 passengers in the 12 Suites, and joked that I could have a bedroom, dining room and living room if I wanted.

He was given Bose headphones and Givenchy pajamas and a Salvatore Ferragamo travel case full of amenities. The flight attendant at his disposal had previously served Leonardo DiCaprio and Morgan Freeman.

At 8 a.m., Low drank a Singapore Sling and waited for his one of many lobsters to arrive. So like I said, anyone at all, ready to give up $19,000, get in the comments. I'll be looking for you.

This Dude Spent $19,000 on the Most Luxurious Flight in the World

This Dude Spent $19,000 on the Most Luxurious Flight in the World

[Promotional images via Singapore Air]


Deadspin How A War Over Tackle Football Consumed America's Most Elite Prep School | io9 10 Geeky Deb

Tuesday Night TV Considers Tent Living, Face Tattoos, and Going Glam

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Hey, what's going on? You look nice. Tonight there's S.H.I.E.L.D., The Mindy Project, some small premieres, nothing major, some more Forever and Sons of Anarchy, and then it just kind of falls apart at that point to be honest.

At 8/7c. NCIS and Utopia are still plugging on, while on NBC there's another round of blind auditions on The Voice. ABC has the pilots for Selfie and Manhattan Love Story, the latter of which seems pretty revolting/basic, but then, look how You're the Worst turned out. Or like, I was soooo sure I was gonna totally hate the A to Z pilot, and I only kind of hated it. See? Never assume.

At 9/8c. it's an hour of 19 Kids & Counting on TLC, including the astonishingly titled "Duggar Girls Go Glam," NGC's elfin rambler Legend of Mick Dodge is back for its second season and just making an evening of it. PBS's women-in-industries series Makers returns with "Women in Comedy," FYI's perennial hit Married At First Sight: Unveiled is still fucking that chicken (sight-unseen), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. is presumably in for another heartbreaking installment of "Fuck with Fitz," and there's new New Girl and The Mindy Project.

At 10/9c. it's ABC's Welsh sex romp Forever, Person of Interest and Sons of Anarchy for those two very specific kinds of people, the season (and come on, series) finale of Bravo's The Singles Project, and a new show on NGC called Live Free Or Die about some dudes who wish Skyrim was real and decided to just go for it so now they live in tents and I don't know what else. Cloaks involved probably, some polyamorous body mods, stripes upon the face—"Tuesday's Child, Face of Woad"—and to be honest I'm hopin' for a kilt or two. It's kind of a free-for-all with these kind of dudes. Not so much Sons of Anarchy as... Sons of Chaotic Good? Slightly less white supremacists, anyway.

Okay. I went to the first Renaissance Faire of my entire life—I know!—a couple of weekends ago outside Santa Fe. I was there for a literal gay wedding and it was still the gayest thing that has ever happened to me. Also it was bonkers. I mean you have experienced this American activity before so nothing would shock you probably but like, this one I think was special, even given my unfamiliarity with the milieu. There was one good-sized stall devoted to high-quality prints of sexy furry art, including: On canvases, framed, matted and lithograph. I saw tiger lady boobs, brown bear man in leather that like he was an actual bear but with person muscles, and a white wolf man in a banana hammock, holding a spear, havin' a semi. I have been to actual record stores with less merchandise in them; I could not leave this place. But I also for sure could not stay.

I had to be on the move if I was going to find just some random locket at some stall that transported me back in time to meet Stannis Baratheon. That was my main thing I was trying to accomplish. Just have a casual magical experience of like, not trying too hard or thinking about something else or you're on your phone and a little kid runs up to you and puts something in your hand and then boom: Dance Magic Dance. Or just to casually be like, "I feel like this crystal or magic rock or ornate amulet, I just feel like it wants to come home with us." Nothin' did. I mean, nothing I wanted to take home with us. There was a guy playing a giant harp on a chariot that was clearly just a Jazzy motorscooter in disguise. Bards are charlatans, one and all: That is why they are classed as Rogues.

There was a whole village down the hill called Fairfay (!) where I learned about the difference between elf and fairy cultures back in the Renaissance period. You won't find that in any history book, to say nothing of the importance of soap bubbles back then: Practically a form of currency. There was a half-insect/half-elfin woman making walls of bubbles with a net; later a bellydancing troupe shook it all through the place. I did not see any fights, be they sword or dragon, but I did speak to a tween wizard for a while about what was in his pockets. (Nothing that interesting, turns out! I think maybe the wizard was not actually a wizard, just like a weird kid in a wizard costume. But do you really want to risk being wrong about that?)

There was another stall with regular shoes that they had taken apart—or perhaps the elves, at night, had taken apart—and sewed up with leather and jewels and fringe and what have you. Like, Etsy in real life: When you think of shoes for witches and fairies and whatever, you don't think of Birkenstocks first thing, you know what I mean? So that was rad. Also I noticed that every single stall had one secret nerd sex kink item hidden in it, like a Where's Waldo of sex nerds: Look at all these neat swords! (Flails on the back wall.) Just belts, just some common belts like you use to hold your pants up! (And leather harnesses in every color.) It's a fantasy masquerade store where you can be an Elven Queene or a Steampunk in old-timey Goggles! (Or a tied-up sex-pig with a vintage-y faux-finish ball-gag in your mouth.)

I mean it's not like we didn't know that—Renaissance Faires are known hotbeds of lust—but it was a little bit like how every Ramada Inn is the same as every other Ramada Inn. I don't get sex like that, like with numbers and words and equipment and like, "Do you want to Sex Activity #35?" "Yes please but only to Level Green. Also my girlfriend will watch." "You are cleared for 35." Good for you, here in your personal sex Skyrim—I cannot yuck another's yum—but that is not how I do it. That is not gonna get the job done. Anyway, dudes in kilts: Kinda angry, but not in a bad way necessarily. Chip on the shoulder, so to speak. Or like a Bitcoin? "That bald dude in the Utilikilt has a serious Bitcoin up his skirt about something." Love 'em. Love 'em in the wild, love 'em at the Renfestival, love 'em on NGC, whatever that is.

At 11/10c. it's the premiere of MTV's "sex drugs and rollercoasters" late-night teen soap Happyland—which could go either way, I haven't had a chance to check it out yet—and on Watch What Happens: Live, Kate Walsh and BJ Novak, two people that I have zero problem with and yet have no particular wish to see in a casual setting. All I want is to live free or die, find the perfect Skyrim guy for the perfect Skyrim job; and if that turns out to be in the out-of-doors, in the wilderness? I say so be it.

Morning Afteris a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. What are you watching tonight? What are we missing out on? Recommendations and discussions down below.

Mark Zuckerberg Will Not Let Larry Ellison Keep Hawaii To Himself

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Mark Zuckerberg Will Not Let Larry Ellison Keep Hawaii To Himself

Welcome to the latest installment of Billionaire Musical Chairs. This week's round was a doozy. Billionaire Mark Zuckerberg zoomed past billionaire Larry Page, as billionaires-in-training watched the net worth from the sidelines. The real action, however, was on the real estate front.

Pacific Business News reports that Zuckerberg is the "likely buyer" of a 357-acre beachfront estate on the North Shore of Kauai. In August, the property went on the market for $70 million, but PBN's source says it's likely to sell for $66 million. That is a but a sliver of Zuckerberg's $34 billion net worth. But the price is right if it means Zuckerberg (the third-richest man in tech) can get co-tropical with Larry Ellison (the second-richest man in tech with a net worth of $50 billion).

Sure Ellison has his own island, but the property Zuckerberg is reportedly considering isn't exactly shabby chic:

Located at 7480 Koolau Road in Kilauea, the Kahuaina Plantation is being dubbed one of the last large beachfront parcels developed on Kauai with the seller investing major amounts of money over the years to satisfy all development requirements.

It is fully entitled for 80 homesites with approved roads.

Mere months ago, Business Insider was awestruck by the overpowering humility of Zuckerberg's affordable car choice. But it's a slippery slope from a James Perse upgrade to a Hawaiian manor. Our once scrappy tech idols may have a tricky time staying true to the slogan etched inside their overpriced, but oh-so-soft hoodies.

Mark Zuckerberg Will Not Let Larry Ellison Keep Hawaii To Himself

h/t @KevinRoose

[Top image via Associated Press; bottom image via TechCrunch]

Jesus, Is the Secret Service Trying To Kill Obama?

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Jesus, Is the Secret Service Trying To Kill Obama?

News just broke of the Secret Service's third time failing to assassinate President Obama—according to reports, agents allowed a guy with a gun to get in an elevator with the president earlier this month and had no idea he was armed until someone else pointed it out.

According to the Washington Post, the president was in Atlanta at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on Sept. 16 when the Secret Service broke protocol (once again), allowing an armed CDC security guard to board the elevator with them.

Agents became suspicious when the man refused to stop filming Obama during the elevator ride and ran a background check on him, revealing three prior assault and battery convictions.

The Washington Examiner reports the guard's supervisor declared his behavior to be "highly irresponsible"—and then demanded the man turn over his gun.

Secret Service agents were reportedly "shocked" to learn he was armed.

Per the Examiner:

Before the president travels anywhere, Secret Service agents make it their job to know who will have access to the president and anyone with a gun needs special clearance and may not be allowed to carry it when the president is onsite.

In addition to the Secret Service, only sworn law enforcement officers are allowed to be armed at a location where the president is visiting, the source said. Contract security officers are not allowed to be armed.

Whoops!

[image via AP]

Startups Offer "Pre-cations" to Pre-emptively Burned Out Employees

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Startups Offer "Pre-cations" to Pre-emptively Burned Out Employees

Americans are famously overworked and terrified of taking vacations. And that is no different in Silicon Valley, where young code jockeys are expected to put in long hours on projects that rarely pan out, leading to burnout and high turnover. But startups are testing a new way to milk more work from their staff: paying new hires to take vacations before starting work.

The latest sign-on bonus gimmick is being dubbed "pre-cation"—a program of paying employees to take two weeks of vacation before marching into the salt mines. According to Slate, one of the perk's pioneers is 42Floors, a commercial real estate startup that has pulled in $17.4 million in venture funding.

[42Floors CEO Jason Freedman] decided to begin offering pre-cations to all his new hires. "The day they get their offer letter, it's kind of like Christmas morning, in that they have a new job and they've already thought through the vacation they're about to go on. We have a guy who's about to start next week, and he's in Thailand right now. It's like, 'Yeah, have a great time! And when you get back here, work your ass off.' "

"And when you get back here, work your ass off."

That attitude is how we got to "pre-cations" in the first place. Tech bosses believe that workers should be married to their jobs, and regularly expect them to grind out the late nights that come with the commitment. Those are expectations that single 20-somethings straight out of Stanford might be able to meet, but they ultimately lead to discrimination against older employees and people with families.

Naturally, the benefit is less about the worker and more about the business:

In the long run, Freedman is convinced the policy boosts his bottom line. "The number one thing employers need to do if they want to get the most out of their workers is to get across that we care about their well-being."

Scooping up frazzled startup veterans and dangling a paid vacation in front of their eyes might be a good way to lead them into a job—and it may keep them from burning out after a month. But this is less about solving the problem than it is a cheap, short-term "hack."

To contact the author of this post, please email kevin@valleywag.com.

Photo: Shutterstock

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