On Sunday, Pope Francis met with five victims of childhood sexual abuse. According to the Associated Press, only some of those victims been abused by members of the clergy: some were assaulted by family members or educators.

Francis promised the three women and two men he met with that those in the church responsible for the scandal accountable. The pope has agreed to create a new Vatican tribunal to prosecute bishops who covered for pedophile priests, the AP reports.

“I am profoundly sorry that your innocence was violated by those who you trusted,” Francis said. “For those who were abused by a member of the clergy, I am deeply sorry for the times when you or your family spoke out, to report the abuse, but you were not heard or believed. Please know that the Holy Father hears you and believes you.”

The full text of the pope’s remarks, released by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, is below:

My dearest brothers and sisters in Christ, I am grateful for this opportunity to meet you, I am blessed by your presence. Thank you for coming here today.

Words cannot fully express my sorrow for the abuse you suffered. You are precious children of God who should always expect our protection, our care and our love. I am profoundly sorry that your innocence was violated by those who you trusted. In some cases the trust was betrayed by members of your own family, in other cases by priests who carry a sacred responsibility for the care of soul. In all circumstances, the betrayal was a terrible violation of human dignity.

For those who were abused by a member of the clergy, I am deeply sorry for the times when you or your family spoke out, to report the abuse, but you were not heard or believed. Please know that the Holy Father hears you and believes you. I deeply regret that some bishops failed in their responsibility to protect children. It is very disturbing to know that in some cases bishops even were abusers. I pledge to you that we will follow the path of truth wherever it may lead. Clergy and bishops will be held accountable when they abuse or fail to protect children.

We are gathered here in Philadelphia to celebrate God’s gift of family life. Within our family of faith and our human families, the sins and crimes of sexual abuse of children must no longer be held in secret and in shame. As we anticipate the Jubilee Year of Mercy, your presence, so generously given despite the anger and pain you have experienced, reveals the merciful heart of Christ. Your stories of survival, each unique and compelling, are powerful signs of the hope that comes from the Lord’s promise to be with us always.

It is good to know that you have brought family members and friends with you today. I am grateful for their compassionate support and pray that many people of the Church will respond to the call to accompany those who have suffered abuse. May the Door of Mercy be opened wide in our dioceses, our parishes, our homes and our hearts, to receive those who were abused and to seek the path to forgiveness by trusting in the Lord. We promise to support your continued healing and to always be vigilant to protect the children of today and tomorrow.

When the disciples who walked with Jesus on the road to Emmaus recognized that He was the Risen Lord, they asked Jesus to stay with them. Like those disciples, I humbly beg you and all survivors of abuse to stay with us, to stay with the Church, and that together, as pilgrims on the journey of faith, we might find our way to the Father.

Photo credit: AP Images. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

Bad news for those who wear man buns and the people who love them: the hairstyle may actually be causing hair loss. Before any man bun defenders chalk this up to fear mongering, it’s true. Pulling tightly on the hairline can cause traction alopecia, or gradual hair loss. A man’s Jared Leto-inspired ‘do just might turn into one resembling Vin Diesel’s.

“They’re putting traction on the hair follicles that the hair is not really meant to take,” Dermatologist Sabra Sullivan told Mic. The condition, which is usually seen in women who wear tight hairstyles, is now becoming more common in men. Sullivan says the trendy top knots are partly the reason.

What should man bun fans do to prevent hair loss? Wear those tendrils loose. “The idea is not to pull so tight,” said Sullivan. “You don’t want to have to go for hair transplants later.”

Contact the author at marie.lodi@jezebel.com.

Image via Shutterstock.

Catalan separatists are expected to take control of the regional government, the Guardian reports, following exit polls that suggest the nationalist coalition Junts pel Sí (Together for Yes) will win between 63 and 66 seats in the 135-seat parliament.

The central government in Madrid has blocked previous attempts to hold a referendum on independence in Catalonia, one of Spain’s wealthiest regions. According to the Guardian, the head of the regional government, Artur Mas, promised that if the separatists won a majority of seats in the election he would initiate the secession process.

To deliver on that promise, the Wall Street Journal reports, Mas will need to negotiate and win the support of another, smaller pro-independence party: the Popular Unity Candidacy (CUP), which is expected to win between 11 and 13 seats in the Catalan parliament.

The CUP is further left than Junts pel Sí, and leaders in the anti-austerity party have reportedly expressed ambivalence about a business-friendly centrist like Mas being in charge of a secession deal, which CUP also opposes without a majority of the popular vote. (Together, both the Junts pel Sí coalition and CUP received 49.8% of the vote.)

While much of the independence movement has been driven by economic anxieties—according to the New York Times, Catalonia accounts for a fifth of the Spanish economic output—Catalans have their own language and cultural identity. It is also the country’s primary tourist city.

Photo credit: AP Images. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.

Unfortunately for 60 Minutes correspondent Scott Pelley, disgraced Pope impersonator Donald Trump was interviewed by 60 Minutes correspondent Scott Pelley. And it was exactly the train wreck you were hoping for.

Trump didn’t really say anything we hadn’t heard before, of course, but this is one of the first times an interviewer has really been able to push him on the grandiose, wholly unexplained plans for his presidency. Almost half of the interview itself consists of Pelley asking—pleading—Trump to explain how exactly he plans to accomplish, say, rounding up and deporting 12 million immigrants. To which Trump inevitably responds with something to the effect of, Don’t worry, I’m Donald Trump.

Yes you are—and Donald, we cannot wait for that tax plan.

We’ve put together all the best bits above—but if you can stomach it, see the full interview below.

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.

On tonight’s Vice on HBO special, Barack Obama and Shane Smith spoke with inmates about the systemic failures of our criminal justice system. Here’s some stuff they didn’t talk about.

Contact the author at jordan@gawker.com.

There’s an old adage that goes something like, “You lie with prisoners, you get jail time,” and guess what—it’s true: just ask Joyce “Tillie” Mitchell, who was just sentenced for her role in busting two convicts out of prison this summer.

So what will allegedly sleeping with two convicted murderers before helping them escape cost you, in years? According to Tillie’s plea deal, anywhere from 2 1/3 to 7 years behind bars.

http://gawker.com/tillie-said-sh...

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: love is a prison and—unlike in real life—you cannot escape its savage clutches by seducing your heart’s warden, painting her portrait like one of your French girls, and promising to murder her husband before starting a new life together Mexico. All you can do is serve your time and hope for the best plea deal your court-appointed attorney can negotiate.

http://gawker.com/prison-worker-...

Bon chance, Tillie girl.

Image via AP. Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

After a weekend of rampant speculation, NASA has confirmed our suspicions: There’s probably liquid water on Mars today. The landmark finding makes the notion of life on the Red Planet all the more plausible.

“Water is essential to life as we know it,” the researchers behind a study published today in Nature Geoscience today write. “The presence of liquid water on Mars today has astrobiological, geologic and hydrologic implications and may affect future human exploration.”

The study, led by geomorphologist Lujendra Ojha of Georgia Tech, utilizes new data collected by the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter to show evidence for recurrent seepage of liquid water along Martian crater walls.

Images collected by the Reconnaissance Orbiter’s HiRISE camera show that “recurrent slope lineae”— dark streaks that resemble flow paths on Martian slopes — appear to be seasonal, fading when inactive and reappearing annually over multiple Martian years. These features alone hint at the presence of flowing water, but the real clincher comes in the form of spectral data, collected by the Reconnaissance Orbiter’s Compact Reconnaissance Imaging Spectrometer: Hydrated perchlorate salts within the flow paths. Hydrated salts (which contain water in their molecular structure) are powerful evidence of evaporated brine, possibly from an underground reservoir.

Darkening lines (known as RSL) moving down a slope as the temperature rises, possibly representing spring and summer salt water flows on Mars, NASA/JPL

“Something is hydrating these salts, and it appears to be these streaks that come and go with the seasons,” Ojha said in a statement. “This means the water on Mars is briny, rather than pure. It makes sense because salts lower the freezing point of water. Even if RSL are slightly underground, where it’s even colder than the surface temperature, the salts would keep the water in a liquid form and allow it to creep down Martian slopes.”

It’s well-established that ancient Mars used to be a much warmer, wetter place. It might have even been covered by a global ocean. But for years, scientists have debated whether liquid water could exist on the frigid, dry Martian surface today. If liquid water were present on modern Mars, that would substantially bolster the case for microbial life.

NASA has been teasing us with this news since a press release last week said that the space agency would be announcing a ‘major science finding’ that solves a longstanding Martian mystery. The timing of the announcement was well calculated: With the opening of the NASA-endorsed feature film The Martian this week, NASA is doing everything in its power to drum up public excitement about a real mission to Mars in the 2030s.

And what’s more exciting than the prospect of alien microbes?

[Read the full scientific paper at Nature Geoscience]

Follow the author @themadstone

Top image: Dark, narrow, 100 meter-long streaks called flowing downhill on Mars are inferred to have been formed by contemporary flowing water, via NASA/JPL/University of Arizona

As bond prices “flash caution signals about the broader economy,” Goldman Sachs warns of a “major move” in stock prices, and investor pessimism reaches a 15-year high, we are here to remind you: EVERYTHING IS FINE.

http://gawker.com/ladies-and-gen...

Quick question for you—$10,000 worth of weed falls from the sky and lands smack in front of your house. Do you accept the divine gift? Or do you reject the miracle and call the cops—just like Judas, if you don’t think about it too hard.

I’ll tell you what one Arizona couple did this month: something truly ungrateful. The sad tale, via the Guardian:

Maya Donnelly awoke to what sounded like thunder in the early morning hours, but dismissed it as a typical monsoon storm and went back to sleep. Later that morning, she looked in the carport at her home in Nogales, near the US-Mexico border, and saw pieces of wood on the ground.

She found a bulky bundle wrapped in black plastic. Inside was roughly 26lbs of marijuana – a package that authorities say was worth $10,000 and was likely dropped there accidentally by a drug smuggler’s aircraft.

Living near the border, Donnelly said she assumed the object contained drugs. She immediately called her husband, Bill, who told her to call 911.

Why did she call 911???

“That’s what everybody says: ‘Why did you call 911?”’ Maya Donnelly said. “But how can you have a clear conscience, right? We could have made lots of home repairs with that.”

Now their dog’s out a doghouse (it was crushed by the impact), some drug dealers are out some drugs, the Donnelly family is sober as a judge, and the miracle is locked up in an evidence room. All I’m saying is, the Romans would probably be proud.

Image by Jim Cooke, photo via Shutterstock. Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

Here are the best of today’s deals. Get every great deal every day on Kinja Deals, follow us on Facebook and Twitter to never miss a deal, join us on Kinja Gear to read about great products, and on Kinja Co-Op to help us find the best.

More Deals

Today’s Best Gaming Deals​

http://deals.kinja.com/todays-best-ga...

Today’s Best Media Deals

http://deals.kinja.com/todays-best-me...

Today’s Best App Deals

http://deals.kinja.com/todays-best-ap...

This Week’s Best Apparel Deals

http://deals.kinja.com/this-weeks-bes...

Top Deals

Anker’s ubiquitous Astro series of USB battery packs are some of the most popular items we’ve ever posted, but today we have some of the best deals we’ve seen on their brand new PowerCore line.

http://deals.kinja.com/bestsellers-an...

PowerCore chargers feature high quality Panasonic battery cells that can output a ton of power (3 amps on the smallest model, 4.8 on the larger ones) to charge phones and tablets at full speed, even simultaneously. And if you own a new USB-C powered MacBook, these are some of the only battery packs that can charge it at a reasonable speed. I’m also a big fan of their new matte finish, which resists fingerprints and should be a little less slippery than the ubiquitous Astro series.

Anker PowerCore 10400 Portable Charger ($17) | Amazon | Promo code ZDSELJFM

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

Anker PowerCore 15600 Portable Charger ($24) | Amazon | Promo code ZOMD5MWW for the black model. 2ZAOCALU for white.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

Anker PowerCore 20100 - Ultra High Capacity Power Bank ($32) | Amazon | Promo code E7E87VGN for black. O8XUQ7YG for white.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

Bonus: If you don’t mind its less-refined design and lower output power, this high capacity KMASHI battery pack is also a great deal. [Kmashi 20000mAh External Battery Power Bank, $24 with code BDVZVC3F]

http://www.amazon.com/20000mAh-Exter...

If you happen to not own a drill, this basic cordless model from Black & Decker is only $17 right now on eBay. That’s about $12 less than Amazon, where it has a 4.1 star review average. [Black & Decker LDX172C 7.2-Volt Lithium-Ion Drill/Driver, $17]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Black-Deck...

Little Giant Ladders are some of the most popular on the market, and their 22’ multi-use model is down to just $190 today on Groupon. That’s still a sizable chunk of change, but Amazon’s selling the same model for $310, with great reviews. [Little Giant LT-22 Multi-Use Ladder, $190 with code FALL3]

Today only, Amazon is offering up this 330 watt/550-volt APC UPS for just $42, or about $10-$15 less than its usual price.

If you use a desktop computer, and you’ve ever lost work due to a brief power outage, this will of course keep your machine running without any interruption. But even if you only use laptops and mobile devices at home, this can still power your router and modem to keep you connected, or you could even plug in a TV to pass the time until the lights come back on. The battery’s runtime will vary considerably based on what’s plugged in, but most reviewers seem to indicate that their PCs can run for 30-60 minutes without power.

Just note, this is a Gold Box deal, meaning this price is only available today, or until sold out. [APC BE550G Back-UPS 550VA 8-outlet UPS, $42]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0019804U8/...

The problem: You’ve filled your closet with all the great apparel deals we post.

The solution: This $7 closet doubler. [Organize It All Closet Doubler, $7. Prime members only.]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TBYVOCY/...

http://deals.kinja.com/this-weeks-bes...

Amazon’s #1 selling cat scratching post has a 4.7 star review average from nearly 4,000 customers, and is down to just $35 today, or within $5 of its all-time low. It still won’t make your cat love you. [SmartCat Ultimate Scratching Post, $35]

http://www.amazon.com/SmartCat-3832-...

http://jezebel.com/stupid-shit-iv...

You can turn your entire house into a Pinterest-induced fever dream with these cheap chalkboard label stickers. Put them on spice jars, cabinets, pets...anything, really. Chalk not included. [Attmu 48 Chalkboard Label Stickers, $6 code TYLJMMVL]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MXXUWH8/...

This lunch container set is marketed for kids, but I see no reason why fully-grown office drones couldn’t use it as well. $7 gets you six containers, plus a pair of custom ice packs that can snap into the lids to keep your food cold. [Fit & Fresh Kids’ Reusable Lunch Container Kit with Ice Packs, 14-Piece Set, $7]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0057PDX0M/...

There are probably better vacuum cleaners out there, but $65 is a fantastic price for a bagless upright with a retractable power cord and extension hose. This is a Gold Box deal though, meaning this price is only available today, or until sold out. [Hoover WindTunnel T-Series Rewind Plus Bagless Upright, $65]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002HFDLCK/...

We love vacuum-insulated water bottles, but most of them only hold about 16-20 ounces. If that just doesn’t cut it for you, this giant Thermos can keep a whopping 40 ounces of liquid cold (or hot!) for up to 24 hours. [Thermos Stainless Steel King 40 Ounce Beverage Bottle, $25]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FK9LPM/...

If your iTunes balance is running low, here’s another chance to save 20% on a variety of refill cards. If you ever buy apps, shows, movies, music, books, or iCloud storage from Apple, this is basically free money. And if your Apple Music free trial is set to expire in the next few days, your renewal will automatically draw from your iTunes account.

• $100 iTunes Gift Card ($80) | Staples
• $50 iTunes Gift Card ($40) | Staples
• $25 iTunes Gift Card ($20) | Staples

Disney Infinity 3.0 launched less than a month ago, but you can already save $15 on a starter pack for the console of your choice. [Disney Infinity 3.0 Edition Starter Pack, $50]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00WJ0Z10S/...

http://kotaku.com/disney-infinit...

If you want to fill up your board game cabinet in a hurry, Target’s currently offering a buy two, get one free promotion on a number of popular titles. There are over 600 options to choose from, including everything from Monopoly to Catan. [Buy 2 Get One Free Board, Strategy, and Party Games at Target]

Anyone interested in war stories might want to pick this Kindle book up for $3.

In time for the 2014 centennial of the start of the Great War, this book brings to life the brave and often surprising exploits of 16 fascinating women from around the world who served their countries at a time when most of them didn’t even have the right to vote. Readers meet 17-year-old Frenchwoman Emilienne Moreau, who assisted the Allies as a guide and set up a first-aid post in her home to attend to the wounded; Russian peasant Maria Bochkareva, who joined the Imperial Russian Army by securing the personal permission of Tsar Nicholas II, was twice wounded in battle and decorated for bravery, and created and led the all-women combat unit the “Women’s Battalion of Death” on the eastern front; and American journalist Madeleine Zabriskie Doty, who risked her life to travel twice to Germany during the war in order to report back the truth, whatever the cost. These and other suspense-filled stories of brave girls and women are told through the use of engaging narrative, dialogue, direct quotes, and document and diary excerpts to lend authenticity and immediacy.

Women Heroes of World War I: 16 Remarkable Resisters, Soldiers, Spies, and Medics (Women of Action) [Kindle] ($3) | Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K4JX2P2/...

The Fallout Anthology packs every PC Fallout game into your very own Mini Nuke, and you can get a $25 Dell promo gift card back when you preorder it today. As always, make sure you see the gift card in your cart before checking out, and remember that it’s only valid for 90 days. [Fallout Anthology + $25 Dell Promo Gift Card, $50]

If you’ve been waiting on a good deal to upgrade your home network to 802.11ac, this might push you over the edge. Amazon’s tossing in an essentially-free 1TB external drive when you purchase a highly-rated NETGEAR Nighthawk AC1900 router for $2oo. The router by itself is going for $195 right now, which is on the high end of its usual price range, but the hard drive still makes this a solid deal. [NETGEAR Nighthawk AC1900 Dual Band Wi-FI Gigabit Router (R7000) + Toshiba Canvio Basics 1TB Portable Hard Drive, $200]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...

Smartphone camera lens attachments have been around for years, but I’ve always held off because I didn’t want to use a specific case on my phone, or pay for a new set of lenses every time I bought a new device. This clip-on solution from Aukey though seems to be a more versatile alternative, and looks like an awesome option at $10.

Unlike most lens add-ons, Aukey’s 3-in-1 kit uses a clamp to attach to your device, which means it should work with virtually any smartphone. Once that clip’s in place, you get to choose from three different lenses: Fisheye, wide angle, and macro. A handful of Amazon reviewers have uploaded sample photos and videos, and they look pretty great to my eyes, particularly the close-up macros.

The whole system is very reasonably priced at $16, but today you can use promo code FNKXYPLR to save an extra $6. [Aukey 3 in 1 Clip-on Cell Phone Camera Lens Kit, $10 with code FNKXYPLR]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B014CXK9FQ/

Tech

Power

• Anker PowerCore 10400 Portable Charger ($17) | Amazon | Promo code ZDSELJFM
• Anker PowerCore 15600 Portable Charger ($24) | Amazon | Promo code ZOMD5MWW for the black model. 2ZAOCALU for white.
• Anker PowerCore 20100 - Ultra High Capacity Power Bank ($32) | Amazon | Promo code E7E87VGN for black. O8XUQ7YG for white.
• Kmashi 20000mAh External Battery Power Bank, 5A Lightning Fast Input and 2Amp Quick Input with DC 5V/5A Wall Charger ($24) | amazon | Use code BDVZVC3F
• Lumsing 17W Dual-Port USB Travel Charger and Lumsing Lightning Cable ($10) | Amazon | Add both to cart and use code 4DIH7NGP
• KMASHI Car Quick Charge 2.0, 18W Car Charger (12V/1.5A 9V/2A 5V/2A) Rapid QC Port ($5) | amazon | Use code YIZNGE95

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...

Audio

• Audio-Technica In-Ear Communication Buds w/ Mic ($15) | Staples
• 808 HEX SL Wireless Speaker ($30) | meh
• Anker Classic Portable Wireless Bluetooth Speaker with 20 Hour Battery Life ($28) | Amazon | Promo code ANKERWOW
• Anker Portable Dual Driver Bluetooth Speaker with 24 Hour Battery ($50) | Amazon | Promo code 89XBTJP8
• Bluetooth Sport Headphones QY8 ($18) | Amazon | Use code XFK5LL8U
• Inateck MercuryBox Aluminum Waterproof Bluetooth 4.0 Speaker ($37) | Amazon | Use code LCAXIAF6

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GZC35YK

Home Theater

• BenQ 1080p DLP Projector ($630) | eBay
• JBL 2-way, 5” In-Wall Loudspeakers ($55) | Woot

Computers & Accessories

• Asus Core i7, 8GB, 1TB, 2 in 1 15.6” TouchScreen Laptop ($850) | Best Buy
• Acer Chromebook 15 ($220) | Amazon
• APC BE550G Back-UPS 550VA 8-outlet UPS ($42) | Amazon
• Refurb. Linksys AC1900 Wireless-AC Dual-Band Router ($90) | Woot

PC Parts

• SanDisk Internal SSD 120GB ($45) | Amazon
• Mushkin Enhanced Reactor 2.5” 1TB SATA III Internal SSD ($290) | Newegg
• Samsung 850 EVO 250 GB M.2 SSD ($89) | Amazon

Mobile Devices

• Preorder Asus ZenWatch 2 ($130) | Newegg
• Refurb. Samsung Galaxy Tab 3, 7” Lite 8GB Tablet ($80) | Staples
  
• 1byone® 2400mAh Backup Battery Charger Case iPhone5/5s Battery Case ($20) | Amazon | Use code BXGQ7JJC

Photography

• GoPro HERO4 Session HD Waterproof Action Camera w/ GoPro WiFi Remote and 32GB Sandisk Gold MicroSDHC ($300) | Best Buy

Home

• Organize It All Closet Doubler ($7) | Amazon
• Hoover WindTunnel T-Series Rewind Plus Bagless Upright ($65) | Amazon
• Electrolux Access T8 Bagless Canister Vacuum ($140) | Best Buy
• Delonghi AC150 Air Purifier with Ionizer, Sensor Touch Screen, HEPA Filter ($100) | eBay
• INTEX Inflatable Lounge Beanless Lounger Bag Chair ($21) | eBay
• Genie ChainLift 800 1/2 HP Chain Drive Garage Door Opener ($124) | Home Depot
• SmartCat Ultimate Scratching Post ($35) | Amazon | Amazon’s #1 seller
• Hydroponic LED Grow Light ($16) | Amazon | Use code ZPFU5JDL

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002HFDLCK/...

Beauty & Grooming

• ACEVIVI Portable White 9W UV Lamp Light Gel Nail Dryer ($17) | Amazon | Use code I8OBV357

Kitchen

• Attmu 48 Chalkboard Label Stickers ($6) | Amazon | Promo code TYLJMMVL
• FoodSaver 4840 2-in-1 Vacuum Sealing System with Bonus Built-in Retractable Handheld Sealer ($119) | Amazon
• Instant Pot IP-Smart Bluetooth-Enabled Multifunctional Pressure Cooker ($185) | Amazon
• NutriBullet Pro 900 32Oz. Blender ($80) | Best Buy
• Insignia - 1.5L Electric Kettle ($12) | Best Buy
• YKS Oven Gloves with 932 Degree Fahrenheit Heat Resistant ($13) | Amazon | Use code QPFPOFE3
• Homdox French Press Coffee &Tea Maker ($18) | Amazon
• Mr. Coffee Whistling Tea Kettle, 1.8-Quart ($8) | Amazon
• Waring Pro JEX328 Health Juice Extractor ($27) | Amazon
• Thermos Stainless Steel King 40 Ounce Beverage Bottle ($26) | Amazon
• Fit & Fresh Kids’ Reusable Lunch Container Kit with Ice Packs, 14-Piece Set ($7) | Amazon
• 20% Off Keurig K-Cup Coffee Pods at Staples
• Dixie PerfecTouch 12 oz. Hot Cups 50/Pack ($3) | Staples

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MXXUWH8/...

Fitness

• Attmu High Visibility Reflective Wristbands ($6) | Amazon | Promo code 6AK9CO54

Camping & Outdoors

• Bushnell Roam Series 8.5’ x 3’ Backpacking Tent ($48) | Walmart
• Kelty Airlift Instant Setup Tent ($255) | Woot

Tools & Auto

• CREE 3W Tactical SWAT Heavy Duty Rechargeable Flashlight ($11) | eBay
• HP f500 Full HD 1080p Car Dash Cam w/ 140 Degree Wide Angle, 2.4” LCD, Collision Detection, & Loop Recording ($65) | Amazon
• Bayco SL-2000PDQ Cord Storage Reel with 4 Outlets and Resettable 15-Amp Circuit Breaker ($13) | Amazon
• Bagster 3CUYD Dumpster in a Bag ($25) | Amazon

http://www.ebay.com/itm/1115836136...

Commerce Content is independent of Editorial and Advertising, and if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale. Click here to learn more. We want your feedback.

Send deal submissions to Deals@Gawker and all other inquiries to Shane@Gawker

Cable news fever dream Donald Trump released his big tax plan this morning after hemming and hawing over the details on last night’s 60 Minutes interview.

The key takeaways:

• Allowing individuals making less than $25,000 a year (or married couples making less than $50,000) to pay no income tax at all.
• Cutting the current highest personal income-tax rate from 39.6 percent to 25 percent.
• An estimated eventual $210 billion in US revenue by imposing a one-time, 10 percent tax on any profits US businesses might be holding overseas.

A lot of the success of Trump’s plan, though, lies on unknowns. For instance, Trump’s assuming that his one-time tax on overseas profits (which he’ll allow to be paid over several years) would encourage major corporations to take their money back to the US. With Trump’s imaginary influx of cash comes brand new theoretical jobs and a theoretical economic boom.

Which isn’t to say that Trump didn’t offer any details at all. From The Wall Street Journal:

The 10% bracket would apply to incomes from $50,000 to $100,000 for a married couple; the current 10% bracket has a ceiling of $18,450. The new 25% top bracket would apply to married couples’ incomes in excess of $300,000, which currently are subject to rates as high as 39.6%. Mr. Trump also would cut the top capital gains rate to 20%, from the current 23.8%. And he would eliminate the alternative minimum tax.

But the candidate doesn’t propose to end taxation of individuals’ investment income, as some other Republicans propose, nor would he expand the standard deduction, child-credit and other middle-class breaks as some other GOP candidates have suggested.

Essentially, the plan does a great job of saying a lot of nice-sounding things that voters (from both sides!) would want to hear. Democrats get to see high-earners and corporations lose some of their loopholes, and Republicans get tax cuts across the board—even on (many) high-earners and businesses.

Despite the fact that it’s being paraded around as a liberal concession by limiting the ways the super wealthy can skirt the law, Trump’s plan cuts the highest tax rate and the capital-gains tax rate, meaning it will lower taxes on most upper class Americans, in exchange for taking a photogenic bite of a tiny handful of the super rich.

In other words, Trump’s policy writers are doing a great job of painting him as a populist without actually straying from Republican ideology. Which is certainly his best bet for votes as long as he plans to finance his own campaign, rather than begging the Koch brothers for handouts like his peers.

But asked if he is simply saying what the people wanted to hear, Trump retorted with: “No, I’m not a populist... I’m a man with great common sense ... I wouldn’t say populist at all. I’d say I’m a man with common sense.”

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com. Image via AP.

Tie dye, disco, and John Travolta’s career—these are just a few things from the 70s that don’t hold up today. One thing that does stand the test of time? This 1974 Kitty Kelley profile of Joe Biden. It is very good, very horny and contains at least one unprintable antisemitic joke. Which is all to say Joe Biden probably hasn’t changed much since 1974, and for that I am grateful.

Much of the article focuses on Biden’s late wife, Neila, who died in a car accident in 1972. And most of the discussion about Biden’s late wife, Neila, focuses on the terrific sex they had while she was still alive. Some key quotes:

• “Neilia was my very best friend, my greatest ally, my sensuous lover. The longer we lived together the more we enjoyed everything from sex to sports.”
• “Let me show you my favorite picture of her,” he says, holding up a snapshot of Neilia in a bikini. “She had the best body of any woman I ever saw. She looks better than a Playboy bunny, doesn’t she?”
• “My beautiful millionaire wife was a conservative Republican before she met me. But she changed her registration.”
• “At first she stayed at home with the kids while I campaigned but that didn’t work out because I’d come back too tired to talk to her. I might satisfy her in bed but I didn’t have much time for anything else.”

But Biden was also looking forward, to being adored again: “I would like very much to fall in love and be married again because basically I am a family man. I want to find a woman to adore me again.”

Biden, in 1974, wanted to be adored—just not by his special reporter friend, Francine Barnard, then a correspondent for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

“In spite of all the rumors around town right now, I can look you straight in the eye and say that I have no present or future plans of getting married,” Biden said. “Besides, why should someone like Francie marry a guy like me who is still in love with his wife, who has a political constituency and a readymade family. She deserves better than that.”

That’s a lot of talk about women—but what of women’s rights? Well, 1974 Biden was against them, and also for the draft, so at least he gave both sexes a raw deal. To wit:

• “I don’t like the Supreme Court decision on abortion. I think it went too far. I don’t think that a woman has the sole right to say what should happen to her body.”
• “I support a limited amnesty, and I don’t think marijuana should be legalized.”
• “Now, if you still think I’m a liberal, let me tell you that I support the draft.”

Other highlights of the interview include a story about routinely rejecting dinner invitations from the Kennedys.

“I am the youngest man in the Senate and I am also the victim of a tragic fate which makes me very newsworthy. I’m sure that’s why I get so many invitations all the time. I don’t accept them and most people understand why. Rose Kennedy is always calling me to come to dinner. She has invited me at least ten times and I’ve only gone once,” Biden says. “Most guys would kill to get invitations like that but I don’t accept them because I like to be with my children as much as possible. Whenever Ted and Joan Kennedy call me for dinner—and they call quite a bit—I usually say I have to go home. They are great because they understand why.”

That covers the Catholics, but what about the Jews? That, I’m sad to say, has been lost to the annals of time: writes Kelley, “Biden tells [Senator Eagleton] a joke with an antisemitic punchline and asks that it be off the record.”

It was kept off the record.

H/T Washingtonian. Image via AP. Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

Apple has for many years attempted to project its incoherent definition of decency onto iPhone users, typically when it comes to sex. But as of today, we know that news about killer drone strikes is too hot for the App Store, too.

http://gizmodo.com/5562802/the-la...

Josh Begley is an artist and editor at The Intercept with a particular interest in drone warfare—he operates @Dronestream, an account of publicized American drone strikes. In 2012, Begley made an iOS companion app for the Twitter stream that would provide push notifications to keep you abreast of drone attacks around the world (also known as “news”), and Apple rejected it five times for being “not useful or entertaining enough” and too narrow in focus.

Meanwhile, apps like this one continued to account for a large portion of the App Store:

Finally, Begley resubmitted the Dronestream app under an unrelated name (“Metadata+”) and it was approved without hesitation. That was last year.

Over the weekend, Metadata+ users received a push notification from the App Store to alert them that the software had been pulled:

It’s hard to imagine what about national security news presented in text format could be considered “crude” (let alone “excessively” so), and while the idea of extrajudicial killings is objectionable, aggregated news of it happening isn’t.

Apple is also a repository of thousands upon thousands of tremendously stupid apps that are both crude and worthless—the idea that drone data is over some moral line is insane:

An app about drone attacks, even if it included graphic photos of impact craters and charred bodies (which Metadata+ never did) would be less objectionable than half the bullshit Apple approves.

Over email, Begley told me that he’ll continue his work:

I still plan to update the Twitter account as new drone strikes get reported—and Metadata+ should continue to work for everyone who has it downloaded on their phone. But new users won’t be able to install it.

He also added, as an aside, that this “comes on the heels of Apple pulling 300 apps from the store due to malware. The infected apps were made possible by a modified version of Xcode (a tactic first developed by the CIA, which Jeremy Scahill and I reported on here).”

But he also has a backup—an app called “Ephemeral” provides all the drone news functionality of Metadata+, but has evaded Apple’s scrutiny because its App Store entry consists of nothing but placeholder art and text. That the following would get a thumbs up from Apple after Begley was turned down so many times before tells you much about how the company operates:

Download it here before the craven Cupertino decency squad deems it objectionable.

Correction: This post originally stated that Josh Begley is a freelance journalist—in fact he is an editor at The Intercept.

Contact the author at biddle@gawker.com.
Public PGP key
PGP fingerprint: E93A 40D1 FA38 4B2B 1477 C855 3DEA F030 F340 E2C7

Today in public relations: an email providing a “gentle reminder” to RSVP to an unsolicited invitation to go to Midtown at 8:30 a.m. for a publicity event for a book on the subject of “How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do.”

From: [REDACTED]

Sent: Mon, Sep 28, 2015 at 10:00 AM

A gentle reminder: if you haven’t RSVP’d yet for Wednesday’s breakfast, please do so!

From: [REDACTED]

Sent: Thursday, September 17, 2015 1:32 PM

Subject: Have no F’s Left to Give?! Join us for Breakfast with Sarah Knight!

Please join us for breakfast with

Sarah Knight, author of the forthcoming book

THE LIFE-CHANGING MAGIC OF NOT GIVING A F…:

How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do

(Out December 29th, 2015 from Little, Brown!)

Wednesday, September 30th from 8:30am – 9:30am

How, indeed?

Image via Getty. Contact the author at scocca@gawker.com.

Last week we brought you the unfortunate news that a trendy West Hollywood restaurant has been linked to a salmonella outbreak. At first, it looked like only regular people were affected, but now, dear reader, it is with a heavy heart that I inform you: dozens of beautiful celebrities may also be in danger.

http://gawker.com/date-night-not...

See, according to the LA Times, the restaurant in question—Fig & Olive—catered at least two Emmy parties around the time of the alleged outbreak.

The restaurant would not say on what date the incident occurred, but the West Hollywood Fig & Olive did host at least two Emmy-related events last week, including a celebrity gifting suite and luncheon on Sept. 17 and an “Entertainment Weekly” pre-Emmy party on Sept. 19.

The news, printed almost as an afterthought at the end of the article, could potentially be devastating for Netflix subscribers and Dancing With the Stars fans alike.

Here’s a brief list of the celebs at risk:

Uzo Aduba

Khandi Alexander

Alfie Allen

Steven Bauer

Brian Baumgartner

Garcelle Beauvais

Abigail Breslin

Danielle Brooks

Candace Cameron Bure

Sarah Wayne Callies

Witney Carson

Erika Christensen

Gwendoline Christie

Anna Chlumsky

Laverne Cox

Jackie Cruz

Paul Dano

Chris Daughtry

Cat Deeley

Lea DeLaria

Loretta Devine

Elliott Gould

Nolan Gould

Kat Graham

Seth Green

Tony Hale

Harry Hamlin

Marcia Gay Harden

Angie Harmon

Elaine Hendrix

Gaby Hoffmann

Derek Hough

Cheyenne Jackson

Dot Marie Jones

Jane Krakowski

Nick Lachey

Vanessa Lachey

Padma Lakshmi

NeNe Leakes

Selenis Leyva

Ashley Madewke

Tina Majorino

Taryn Manning

Jeannie Mai

Cristin Milioti

Ryan Murphy

Niecy Nash

Haley Joel Osment

Sarah Paulson

Pedro Pascal

Laura Prepon

Jason Ritter

Jillian Rose Reed

Tara Reid***

Retta

Lisa Rinna

Eric Roberts

Rhea Seehorn

Terri Seymour

Kiernan Shipka

Karina Smirnoff

Jill Soloway

Eric Stonestreet

Jodie Sweetin

Jessica Szohr

Ariel Winter

Constance Zimmer

***Best guess, for reasons unrelated to the food.

Are you one of these celebrities? Get in touch at tips@gawker.com, unless you’re already dead!

Images via AP. Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.

The American intelligentsia is excited about a new book with a shocking and previously unheard thesis: black people do not like crime in their neighborhoods. Does this revolutionary idea change everything we thought we knew?

The book in question is Black Silent Majority by Michael Javen Fortner, an urban studies professor at the City University of New York. It was released today, so few (including me) have read it yet—but it is already receiving what qualifies as saturation coverage, by history book standards.

Kelefa Sanneh wrote about it two weeks ago in The New Yorker. Then came a mention in The Atlantic. It was reviewed in yesterday’s New York Times Book Review. Today, there is a New York magazine story, and a New York Times op-ed by Fortner himself. Even before hitting stores, this work about a relatively narrow slice of sociology and history has run the table of New York’s major highbrow publications.

So what is the idea put forth by Fortner that merits so much attention? It is that our nation’s devastating war on drugs and the brutal sentencing laws that went with it—ushered in by New York’s Rockefeller drug laws in the 1970s, and continuing well into the Reagan era—is not just a product of white America’s oppressive policies aimed at harshly penalizing the black community, but also a product of black community leaders who were fed up with drugs and crime, and wanted something done about it, and made their opinion known, and lent political support to the initial wave of harsh drug laws. Or, as Fortner himself puts it, “Today’s disastrously punitive criminal justice system is actually rooted in the postwar social and economic demise of urban black communities. It is, in part, the unintended consequence of African-Americans’ own hard-fought battle against the crime and violence inside their own communities. To ignore that history is to disregard the agency of black people and minimize their grievances, and to risk making the same mistake again.”

But what is Fortner really saying? Here is what he is saying, in its simplest form: Most black people don’t like to be victims of crime. Yes! Wow! This is the fresh new insight that will be sweeping our national thinkpiece media for at least the remainder of this week. Fortner writes of Harlem business owners and reverends who called for tough-on-crime measures when heroin was engulfing their neighborhood, and of some black politicians who did the same thing on a more national scale. He tells New York magazine that the “black silent majority” living in high crime areas, and suffering from the immediate dangers of crime, is more concerned about being crime victims than typical liberals who observe from safer neighborhoods afar and focus only on the police brutality side of the equation.

Okay. So? Does this constitute a meaningful insight into either American history or policymaking? Black people, who have suffered hundreds of years of systematic legal and economic oppression, tend to be poorer, and live in poorer neighborhoods, where there is more crime, and—here is the big reveal—they do not like being crime victims. At times in the past they asked their government to do something about all the crime. Okay?

Fortner’s observations constitute little more common sense observation about reality—and, therefore, are not particularly interesting or noteworthy. For you to be impressed by Fortner’s thesis, in fact, would require that you previously did not believe that black people disliked being crime victims, and that they never would have asked politicians to do something about crime in black communities. You would have to be a fool! Why, then, is Fortner getting so much attention? Because of the more pernicious aspect of his argument, which is: to the degree that the black community asked for these sorts of tough-on-crime laws, the white political power structure (and nation at large) is absolved of responsibility for creating a racist police state that disproportionately incarcerated black people in almost unimaginable numbers. While Fortner may be aiming only to restore some notion of the black community’s hand in guiding its own fate—which is fine, set properly in the context of American historical reality—you can bet that his argument will soon be seized upon as a right wing rallying cry.

“Hey, black people asked for this.”

[Photos via AP]

This week in Jerusalem! Armenia wasn’t always easy, but then, the best things in life never are. This week, we follow a grinning and drenched Kanye West out of the Kardashians’ homeland and into the holy land, where Bubba is baptized and cookies are still Armenian.

Every week, keen-eyed Kardashians scholar Mariah Smith uses paparazzi photos, gossip-blog coverage, the family’s own Instagram and Twitter accounts, and common sense, to investigate, and establish a detailed and accurate shooting schedule of Keeping Up With the Kardashians—laying bare the distorted timelines and manufactured plotline of America’s royal family. Welcome to Keeping Up With the Kontinuity Errors.

On Sunday night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the A-Plot was the final leg of Kim and Khloe’s trip to Armenia and North’s baptism; the B-Plot was Kylie’s fear of being asked questions on the red carpet; the C-Plot was Kris Jenner’s loneliness, and the D-Plot was the discovery that North West’s nickname is “Bubba.” Alright y’all, let’s hit and quit and get to gettin’!

Cold Open/Scene 1: Filmed on April 9, 2015

Kimberly Kardashian West is still in Armenia with her youngest Kardashian sistren, Khloe. The two are joined by their cousins, Kourtni and Kara, both of whom have either rejected or were never offered assistance by the Kardashian’s glam squad for their stint on national TV. North West has finally begun to speak—she calls Kim “mama.” The group is having dinner when Khloe discovers that Kendall is on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar, and begins to miss her so much that she FaceTimes her at the table. More amazing than Kendall’s success as a model, is Khloe’s iPhone case that miraculously casts her in perfect lighting. Kim, Khloe, and Kendall’s Armenian meal was filmed on April 9, 2015.

Scene 2: Filmed on April 9, 2015

Kim, Khloe, North and their cousins, now joined by Kanye West, visit a Monastery in Armenia. Far off in the distance, Kim notices Mount Ararat, where, according to Kim via the Bible, “Noah’s Ark landed.” While in the Monastery, Kanye is overcome with emotion, grinning from ear to ear, as he takes in the fashions of the Bishop who is explaining the history of this holy place. The group then hears from some people who sing one sustained note, Kim claps her impressively tiny hands together in gratitude, and they finally light candles before peacing out. Note that in her confessional, Kim repeatedly mentions this being the last day of their trip to Armenia. In any case, this scene was filmed on April 9, 2015.

Scene 4: Filmed on April 14, 2015

In a not at all unexpected turn of events, Kanye West ratchets up the theatrics in Armenia and performs a free, middle of the night, outdoor concert for his fans. Kim—makeup-less and childless—beebops along with the crowd as her husband, who shockingly gave E! the rights to his music, dives into a lake and has the time of his charmed little life. Kanye’s pop-up concert was filmed on April 14, 2015, 5 days after Kim’s last day in Armenia. Hmmm.

Scene 7: Filmed on April 13, 2015

At last, the family reaches Jerusalem. Kim and Kanye West baptize North “Bubba” West at the Armenian Church in Jerusalem. Kim, Kanye, and Khloe sit with the Armenian Patriarch of Jerusalem in advance of the ceremony where they are served Armenian cookies. Everyone but Kanye indulges, because he’s a messy eater and doesn’t want to ruin his clothes before the main event. The moment was profoundly beautiful and Bubba’s family obviously had a wonderful time as well. Bubba’s baptism was filmed on April 13, 2015. The trip was quick, because they had to be back in Armenia the next day to film Scene 4. Come Hell or Holy Water, production never stops!

Scene 12: Filmed on June 18, 2015

Back in Calabasas, Kim gets frozen yogurt with marginally successful rapper Tyga’s girlfriend, Kylie Jenner. Kim calls an unmade up, freshly plumped lip, Kylie Jenner “cute,” and it’s obvious she’s still jet-lagged from her trip. Kylie needed some sister time with Kim, because she’s freaking out about the questions she’ll be asked at the Billboard Music Awards regarding her dad, Caitlyn Jenner. Apparently the About Bruce special airs the same night as the award show, and Kylie knows the press will be ruthless. Poor little thing. Aside from dealing with a tough life transition, Kylie seems to also be suffering from a neurological incident, as this was filmed on June 18, 2015 over a month after the Billboard Music Awards on 5/17/15.

Scene 15: Filmed on May 17, 2015

At the Billboard Music Awards, Kylie is nervous AF and “might faint,” because she can’t handle the pressure of possible questions about Caitlyn. On the red carpet, Kylie runs into Kendall, who’s too busy fighting for our fashion with the #BalmainArmy, and has zero time to quell Kylie’s nerves. Kendall even goes so far as to ask her publicist if she can even take a pic with Kylie. The bitch is ruthless, okay. Eventually, Kendall is cleared to take one photo with her fan, Kylie. Kylie, too overcome, eventually runs off the red carpet. This was filmed on May 17, 2015.

Scene 18: Filmed on May 15, 2015

Because we’re all worth it and dreams come true, Kris Jenner and her female children, Kourtney Kardashian, Kimberly Kardashian West, Khloe Kardashian, Kendall Jenner, and Kylie Jenner are at an anniversary cover shoot for Cosmopolitan. All draped in virginal white, the KKKKKK Krew pose as though they’ve been dealt a life sentence for killing the game. It’s a crime of fashion, and every last one of them is guilty! Cosmopolitan’s November 2015 shoot was filmed on May 15, 2015.

Thanks for looking back at it with me, dolls. I’ll see you all next week for another KUWKris Jenner’s Piano Lesson’s re-cap on #KUWTKE. #BubbaGumpShrimp

Images via E!

Mariah Smith is writer and comedic performer who keeps up with the Kardashians. For more Keeping Up With The Kontinuity Errors click here. You can follow her on twitter@mRiah.

http://kuwtke.tumblr.com/

Typhoon Dujuan crashed into Taiwan on Monday with winds equivalent to those of a category four hurricane. One weather station near the eye reported wind gusts of 153 MPH during the height of the storm. The typhoon also produced more than two feet of rain, forcing the evacuation of thousands for fear of landslides and flooding, closing schools and businesses, and even triggering a water outage for more than a million people in the Taipei area.

(The above satellite loop is 5.40 MB and worth every byte.)

Dujuan followed a similar path to Typhoon Soudelor a month and a half before it, coming ashore on the northeastern part of the island in Yilan County. The intense cyclone was just about as impressive and terrifying as a tropical cyclone can look—its large eye encompassed a significant chunk of the storm right up until landfall, when the eye rapidly collapsed as it started to brush against the island’s rough terrain.

Despite quickly losing its organization as it pushed inland, the typhoon’s winds were ferocious. The small town of Su-ao, very close to where Dujuan made landfall, recorded a 153 MPH wind gust at 6:15 PM local time. Yonagunijima, a Japanese island about 70 miles off the coast of Taiwan, measured a 181 MPH wind gust as Dujuan passed through the region.

Veteran cyclone chaser Josh Morgerman positioned himself in Su-ao just in time to experience the direct impacts of Typhoon Dujuan, and he reported a minimum air pressure of about 958 millibars along with fierce winds that shredded apart a nearby building “like confetti.”

While it’s the most heavily advertised effect of tropical cyclones, wind is only one aspect of their wide variety of impacts. Dujuan was (and, as of this post, continues to be) a prolific rainmaker.

Many locations also saw one to two feet of rain as the typhoon crossed Taiwan. Extensive rainfall in tropical cyclones is bad enough over flat land, but when you take a juicy typhoon and slam it into a chain of mountains, it wrings out every drop of moisture in the atmosphere as the strong winds race up the slopes, enhancing precipitation by two or three times what would have fallen otherwise.

A small town at the foot of the mountains took the brunt of the downpour. Fushan, located west of Su-ao and stuck in the eyewall of the typhoon, has recorded 683 millimeters (26.9 inches) of rain as of 3:30 PM Eastern Time. Most of us have experienced a couple of inches of rain in just an hour, but it’s hard to imagine more than two feet of rain falling in a little over a day. This kind of precipitation can easily trigger life-threatening flash floods and mudslides, not only washing out buildings, but destroying local infrastructure for weeks (if not months) after the storm.

As of this post, a now-lopsided Dujuan is just entering the Taiwan Strait, with very heavy rainfall still making its way across the island. The intense winds and extreme rainfall—not to mention storm surge in coastal areas—likely caused a significant amount of damage and flooding, though the full extent of Dujuan’s impacts won’t be known until the sun rises and conditions improve across the island.

One early indication of widespread impacts is a report in The China Post that the extensive rain and resulting flooding caused turbidity (cloudiness from suspended particles like dirt) in the Xindian River to exceed safe levels, forcing officials to stop water service for to up to a million homes in the Taipei area within the next day.

As expected, the entire northern Pacific Ocean is teeming with tropical cyclones this year. Dujuan is the latest in a string of tropical cyclones to aim for Taiwan and Japan’s Ryukyu Islands in the past couple of months; the island off the southeastern coast of China took a direct hit from Typhoon Soudelor early in August, with a glancing blow from Typhoon Goni just two weeks later.

Dujuan is the 86th name on the western Pacific’s continuous list of 140 tropical cyclone names. Each of the 28 countries that border the ocean basin contribute five names to the list. This typhoon’s name, contributed by China, means “azalea” in English.

[Images: JMA, Taiwan’s Central Weather Bureau]

Email: dennis.mersereau@gawker.com | Twitter: @wxdam

My new book, The Extreme Weather Survival Manual, comes out in one week! You can pre-order it now from Amazon.

On his recent visit to Philadelphia, Pope Francis looked his younger self in the eye, remembering the childlike wonder with which he used to see the world before he grew into a man, rose through the ranks of the Church, and came to bear the strictures, hopes, and aspirations of an entire religion on his aging shoulders.

Pope Francis watched the child being carried toward him, embraced the small body draped in vestments the tiny spitting image of his own. He kissed the child, then gently released him to a bodyguard, waving with a wistful look in his eye as that baby was carried away to live out the rest of his life, so full of divergent possibilities.

The pope laughed.

The baby’s name is Quinn, if you wanted to know.

[h/t Uproxx]

As Kristin Cavallari will tell you multiple times without being asked, she identifies as “petite.” Whether she’s discussing the “best bathing suit for different body types” or literally anything at all, Kristin consistently insists the people recognize her for what she is: puhteet.

Two weeks ago, in an interview PerezHilton.com, she modified this self assessment. “I’m very petite,” she said.

In a more recent interview with Us Weekly, Kristin tried another intensifier when describing her stature:

I’m really petite, and I find that embracing the bump and showing it off is the most flattering on me. So, I’ve just been really gravitating toward a lot of form-fitting dresses, and then, throwing on a blazer and a great pair of shoes.

Though she be but little, she is really little! (Petite.)

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]