Samuel L. Jackson Sings Taylor Swift's 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back...
With all due respect to Taylor Swift and her uncanny proclivity for boiling down every meaningful interaction between two human being to a money-making break-up song, her ability to coat her throwaway...
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This Is What's in President Obama's Gun Control Package
A few minutes ago, President Obama announced a $500 million package, synthesized from suggestions put forth by Vice President Joe Biden's task force on gun control, aimed at curbing gun violence in the...
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Megan Fox Speaks In Tongues and Is Symmetrical: an Analysis of Esquire's...
Megan Fox is a cuckoo clock rooster crowing "Wack-a-doodle-doo" at the midnight moon, and still the primary focus of her new Esquire profile is that Megan Fox is pretty. The following is just a brief...
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We've Officially Reached Peak '90s Nostalgia: Kris Kross Is Reuniting
Backwards clothes pioneers Chris "Mac Daddy" Kelly and Chris "Daddy Mac" Smith — better known to older Millennials as kid rap outfit Kris Kross — have announced plans to reunite, bringing us all...
View ArticleToday's Song: SSION "Luvvbazaar" (Video Premiere)
"Luvvbazaar," is a "short film" in that it's kind of long and has MJ-esque movements. It's the latest video from Kansas City/New York band SSION, who were responsible for my favorite video of 2012,...
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Is Laziness the Cause of Unemployment?
Economics is a field in which the general public will often give deference to the opinions of someone with professional credentials, even when that person seems to be saying something in direct...
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New Report Says Lindsay Lohan Is a Paid Escort for Rich Guys (She'll Do...
Do you long to experience the carnal pleasures of central Long Island, but find yourself unable to make the trip due to scheduling commitments or fear? Now you can pay for Long Island to come to you,...
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Porn Star Teacher Won't Be Allowed Back in Classroom
The dream-come-true of California middle school students who discovered their teacher's previous life as a porn star has turned into a nightmare for the teacher herself. Stacie Halas, an eighth grade...
View ArticleEveryone Wants to Adopt This Adorable Three-Legged Dog Who Was Caught on...
A three-legged dog who was spotted by a supermarket's surveillance camera helping himself to a treat from the pet food aisle has become an overnight sensation in his home country of New Zealand....
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Arson, Cracked Testicles, and Internet Death Threats: How Animal Rights...
"We will...strap you into a monkey restraining device and use industrial pliers to crack your testicles like walnuts." That was the simple message that medical researcher Dr. Donal O'Leary received in...
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Urban '127 Hours' Plays Out in Portland After Woman Becomes Trapped in Narrow...
A woman living an urban reenactment of 127 Hours after getting herself lodged in a one-foot gap between two building in downtown Portland was happily rescued before — spoiler alert! — having to gnaw...
View ArticleBarack Obama 'Reminds Me of Saddam Hussein': The GOP Backlash Begins
Republicans are crawling out of the woodwork to attack President Obama's gun control package, announced today. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) has accused Obama of abusing his executive powers. Rep. Tim...
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The Touching Letters These Kids Wrote President Obama After the Sandy Hook...
Before unveiling a series of proposals aimed at strengthening gun control in the wake of last month's Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, President Obama today invited four young children on stage to help...
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This Job Listing for an Office Manager is the Most Manic Piece of Fan Fiction...
It's no secret that it's hard out here for a pimp; pimps of all ages, colors, and creeds are looking for work, any work, any time, any place they can get it. So it's touching that some employers still...
View ArticleOWN Releases First Look at Oprah's Interview with Lance Armstrong
Lest we forget America's other major sports scandal, OWN has posted a 16 second clip of Oprah's interview with Lance Armstrong on YouTube. The clip tells us pretty much nothing, except that it will...
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Florida Science Teacher Offers to Blow Cop in Exchange for Letting Her...
A middle school teacher's poorly thought-out plan to get out of going to jail by offering a police officer oral sex and a breast grope resulted in bribery getting tacked on to her existing DUI and...
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Dennis Kucinich Will Spend the Next Few Years Getting Yelled at on Fox News
This should go well. Wednesday afternoon, Fox News announced they'd hired Dennis Kucinich as their newest contributor. Kucinich is a two-time presidential candidate and former Democratic congressman...
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Fecal Transplants Are Not Only a Thing, But They're Also Very Effective
First of all, did you know fecal transplants are a thing? They are. And not only that, they're an effective cure for a potentially fatal intestinal infection resistant to antibiotics. As The New York...
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Call 911 Now: Skrillex Lights Hair on Fire During Birthday Candle Blow Out
Skrillex (né Sonny Moore) was the guest of honor at a private birthday party in Hollywood Tuesday night, when a close encounter with some birthday candles nearly left the dubstepper bereft of his...
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Algerian Military Allegedly Kills 34 Hostages, Including Americans, in...
Algerian militants are claiming that as many as 34 hostages, including at least six foreigners, and 15 of their kidnappers were killed on Thursday in a helicopter attack undertaken by the Algerian...
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