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Pope Francis Promises Accountability to Victims of Child Sexual Abuse
On Sunday, Pope Francis met with five victims of childhood sexual abuse. According to the Associated Press, only some of those victims been abused by members of the clergy: some were assaulted by...
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Beware the Man Bun: Baldness May Ensue
Bad news for those who wear man buns and the people who love them: the hairstyle may actually be causing hair loss. Before any man bun defenders chalk this up to fear mongering, it’s true. Pulling...
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Catalan Separatists Expected To Win Majority In Regional Spanish Election
Catalan separatists are expected to take control of the regional government, the Guardian reports, following exit polls that suggest the nationalist coalition Junts pel Sí (Together for Yes) will win...
View ArticleRound ‘Em Up in a Nice, Humane Way: The Best Parts of Donald Trump's 60...
Unfortunately for 60 Minutes correspondent Scott Pelley, disgraced Pope impersonator Donald Trump was interviewed by 60 Minutes correspondent Scott Pelley. And it was exactly the train wreck you were...
View ArticleOn tonight’s Vice on HBO special, Barack Obama and Shane Smith spoke with...
On tonight’s Vice on HBO special, Barack Obama and Shane Smith spoke with inmates about the systemic failures of our criminal justice system. Here’s some stuff they didn’t talk about.Contact the author...
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Busting a Big Dicked Murderer Out of Jail Will Cost You at Least Two Years of...
There’s an old adage that goes something like, “You lie with prisoners, you get jail time,” and guess what—it’s true: just ask Joyce “Tillie” Mitchell, who was just sentenced for her role in busting...
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NASA Says There's Strong Evidence of Liquid Water on Mars
After a weekend of rampant speculation, NASA has confirmed our suspicions: There’s probably liquid water on Mars today. The landmark finding makes the notion of life on the Red Planet all the more...
View ArticleAs bond prices “flash caution signals about the broader economy,” Goldman...
As bond prices “flash caution signals about the broader economy,” Goldman Sachs warns of a “major move” in stock prices, and investor pessimism reaches a 15-year high, we are here to remind you:...
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Ungrateful Heretics Turn Miracle Over to Authorities After $10,000 Worth of...
Quick question for you—$10,000 worth of weed falls from the sky and lands smack in front of your house. Do you accept the divine gift? Or do you reject the miracle and call the cops—just like Judas, if...
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Today's Best Deals: Anker Batteries, Smart Pressure Cooker, and More
Here are the best of today’s deals. Get every great deal every day on Kinja Deals, follow us on Facebook and Twitter to never miss a deal, join us on Kinja Gear to read about great products, and on...
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Don't Get Excited Over Donald Trump's Tax Plan
Cable news fever dream Donald Trump released his big tax plan this morning after hemming and hawing over the details on last night’s 60 Minutes interview. The key takeaways:Allowing individuals making...
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The Best Parts of a Very Sexual, Very Horny, Very Good Interview Joe Biden...
Tie dye, disco, and John Travolta’s career—these are just a few things from the 70s that don’t hold up today. One thing that does stand the test of time? This 1974 Kitty Kelley profile of Joe Biden. It...
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Apple: Drone Strikes Are Offensive, Farts and Poop Are Cool
Apple has for many years attempted to project its incoherent definition of decency onto iPhone users, typically when it comes to sex. But as of today, we know that news about killer drone strikes is...
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PR Email: Wake Up Early to Hear How to Stop People From Wasting Your Time
Today in public relations: an email providing a “gentle reminder” to RSVP to an unsolicited invitation to go to Midtown at 8:30 a.m. for a publicity event for a book on the subject of “How to Stop...
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Which of These Celebrities Will Die From Bad Truffles First?
Last week we brought you the unfortunate news that a trendy West Hollywood restaurant has been linked to a salmonella outbreak. At first, it looked like only regular people were affected, but now, dear...
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Bold New Theory: Black People Don't Like Crime
The American intelligentsia is excited about a new book with a shocking and previously unheard thesis: black people do not like crime in their neighborhoods. Does this revolutionary idea change...
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Will We Ever Leave Armenia? Welcome Back to Keeping Up With the Kontinuity...
This week in Jerusalem! Armenia wasn’t always easy, but then, the best things in life never are. This week, we follow a grinning and drenched Kanye West out of the Kardashians’ homeland and into the...
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Powerful Typhoon Dujuan Slams Taiwan With 150+ MPH Wind Gusts, Two Feet of Rain
Typhoon Dujuan crashed into Taiwan on Monday with winds equivalent to those of a category four hurricane. One weather station near the eye reported wind gusts of 153 MPH during the height of the storm....
View ArticleFull-Sized Pope Cracks Up at Sight of Baby Pope
On his recent visit to Philadelphia, Pope Francis looked his younger self in the eye, remembering the childlike wonder with which he used to see the world before he grew into a man, rose through the...
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500 Days of Kristin, Day 246: "I'm Really Petite" - Kristin
As Kristin Cavallari will tell you multiple times without being asked, she identifies as “petite.” Whether she’s discussing the “best bathing suit for different body types” or literally anything at...
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