Ecstatic EDM Fan in Toothpaste Outfit Teaches Ultra Fest About Improper Oral...
Saviño Wasikoki is just a regular guy who cares a ton about proper dental care. Which is why he put on a toothpaste outfit and headed down to Ultra Music Fest armed with a fanny pack full of...
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Hypocrite Adults Are Texting While Driving Like a Bunch of Damn Teenagers
Sometimes you have to wonder why kids these days are so fucked up. You know who I blame? I'll tell you: I blame the parents. Where do you think kids learned how to be fucked up? From you, okay? They...
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North Korea Caught Photoshopping Hovercrafts Into Its Propaganda
An image released by North Korea's official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) shows several imposing hovercrafts approaching a snowy beach, while armed and battle-ready soldiers dash toward the shore....
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Chinese Mother Spends $6.5 Million on Fancy New York Digs for Two-Year-Old...
A high-level executive at Sotheby's International Realty recently revealed to China's state television broadcaster that he personally helped a Chinese mother buy a $6.5 million Manhattan apartment for...
View ArticleLana Del Rey Acts Normal, Is Still Mesmerizing; Covers Leonard Cohen's...
Lana Del Rey released her latest video on her Twitter account last night with the caption "new video," and it turns out the description signaled a pared down aesthetic for the chanteuse. After a...
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Fast Food Workers Will Still Be Screwed Under Obamacare
After Obamacare passed, a broad variety of employers—including many of America's Most Asshole-ish Bosses—are going so far as to lay off employees in anticipation of the new health care costs they'd...
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A Cleansing Fire Is Set to Rip Through The Today Show: Who's Gonna Get Burned?
It's no secret that right now, Today is in a tailspin. Once viewed as a cup of Earl Grey in TV form, the show hast lately earned a reputation as a scalding cauldron of poison. The New York Times...
View ArticleTeen Tries to Perform an 'Escalator Helicopter'; Ends Up Crashing
While at the Colorado Springs Mall last week, Joe Szklarski decided to try the "escalator helicopter" trick he saw someone do on YouTube. And, as we all know, people attempting to recreate things they...
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An X-Mas Card with a Check for a Gun and 1,000 Rounds of Ammo Among Objects...
Adam Lanza spent only five minutes at Sandy Hook Elementary School on the morning of December 14—from the moment he "shot his way into the school" to the minute he took he life. But police found 154...
View ArticleSpot The Homophobe: Jimmy Kimmel Tests His Audience Members' Ability to Tell...
Some people say they can tell if a person is gay just by looking at them. But how about if a person is anti-gay? Jimmy Kimmel wanted to see if his audience members could tell if a person was for or...
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CEO Pay Rises in Tandem With Food Stamp Enrollment
In 2012, the median overall pay of corporate CEOs rose 8%, to $9.7 million. The value of CEO salaries, stock options, bonuses, and perks all rose in 2012, in most cases by double digit percentages. The...
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Third-Grader Struck by Mystery Arrow While on a Field Trip to UC Berkeley
Police are still unsure who shot the arrow that struck the leg of an 8-year-old girl while she was playing near the entrance to UC Berkeley's public public science center Tuesday morning. Nadine...
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Straight Male Writer Is Tired of Hearing About Gay Marriage, the Poor Thing
In a piece that comes absurdly close in tone to Andy Borowitz's satirical "Scalia Furious He Has to Hear About Gay Couples All Week" post from yesterday, Mediaite's TV writer Joe Concha bitches at...
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How To Become a Teen Millionaire: Be an Insufferable Startup Brat
Nick D'Aloisio is 17 years old and lives with his parents in London. He has a girlfriend. He also just made $30 million—most of it in cash—by selling a dubious app to Yahoo!. Bully for Nick. But what...
View ArticleGirl Weeps for Her 'Murdered Wisdom Teeth' in Best After Dentist Video Since...
So-called "after dentist" videos are a dime a dozen. Which is why you can trust that this one's a good'un. A drugged-out Kansas girl fresh from her wisdom teeth removal surgery was filmed by her...
View ArticleDoes Tanning Make People Dumb, Or Do Dumb People Tan?
Last night's installment of MTV's unfailingly sensitive and absurd depiction of the real issues of today's youth, True Life, focused on tanning addiction. Its two Oompa Loompa-hued subjects were dim...
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Woman Convicted of Assault After Slapping Guy Who Grabbed Her Ass
A district court in Sweden determined that a 23-year-old woman was subjected to "serious provocation" before slapping a man for allegedly grabbing her ass, but found her guilty of assault nonetheless....
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Whoops, Turns Out the Navy's $37 Billion Boat Is a Death Trap
After 9/11, the US Navy launched a massive program to build a "Littoral Combat Ship" that could fight submarines, clear underwater mines, and perform other tasks close to shore, because, um... you...
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Rule-Breaking Pope Washes and Kisses Lady-Feet, Scandalizing the Prayerful
The newly minted Pope washed the feet of two women today, including them in an Easter rite that the church he leads has previously insisted is reserved for men, because that's just how God rolls....
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Amazing Layered Images Put Modern Paris Side-by-Side with Color Photographs...
At the beginning of the 20th century, wealthy French banker Albert Kahn embarked on a project, "Archives of the Planet," through which he sent photographers around the world to document, in an early...
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